To feel uncomfortable in working class pubs as a woman of colour?

[Dreamsaregood]

Just that really. I walked in and immediately got heckled by a (presumably) drunk man. Why did this man think this is ok?

I felt really uncomfortable after that and he continued to stare at me every time I walked past. It ruined my evening, and to be honest I felt a little threatened being the only woman of colour in my group.

AIBU to think very carefully before agreeing to meet up in certain places (local pubs etc)?

I’m sorry you experienced that. Did he reference race in his heckling? Or was it more that you sensed that was the underlying motivation?

No he didn't make any comment re: race but I did feel this was the reason he addressed me, this local pub is in a very working class white area (it is where I grew up) where I would say it is very unusual for a WOC to walk in on her own

You could have stopped at woman - there's still unfortunately a certain kind of bar that's very uncomfortable if you are female, especially not accompanied by a man. I find they usually have large TVs and England flags, I avoid.

We have amazing pubs where I live but there's one that has the white working class vibe and I avoid! Thankfully my local is a melting pot, there's people from all walks of life and many ethnicities all enjoying each other's company.

I feel uncomfortable in working class pubs as a woman full stop.

This

Are you all attempting to dismiss how this Man made her feel? I don't think any of you realise how hard it can be as a person of colour in a predominantly white area/place.
How rude!
OP, yes it most likely could have been because if your colour. Unfortunately it probably was. It must have been difficult for you , and yes sometimes you may have to think about where you socialise in future

“all women-ing” OP when she clearly said what she said is diabolical

My group were all female and they did not feel uncomfortable at all. Hence the title of my thread.

The threat is from being a woman of colour specifically in these types of places.

I will definitely not be putting myself in that position again!

Were you the first from your group to come?

Where are these working class pubs? Do you still have pubs that separate men, women, Irish and children?

I'm not belittling your experience at all op, just interested. We have 'wanky' pubs that charge £11 for a glass of wine or bog standard pubs.

I used to live in a predominantly white town for about 5 years. In the last year I moved into a house of predominantly black men. I remember the first time walking into my local with a couple of them and not being able to work out the weird atmosphere until it happened every fucking time we went anywhere. This was the 90s and one would hope things have changed but sadly we know they haven't.
And stop with all the "as a woman" minimising bollocks.

I’m Black and I don’t even bother going into any pubs. I went into a pub once and the treatment was AWFUL so I just never went back. You’re not alone

Seeing the support for Farage on the news this week in very working class white areas I am not surprised you experienced this and sorry you did op

that’s not to say that I think middle class areas are not at times racist there is certainly many people in these area with very right wing views

I feel uncomfortable in white dominated areas. Even going to Central Europe is intimating as I think if an neo-nazi will attack me as I'm the only person of colour here.

My partner is white, I can sense a similar feeling of intimidation when she goes to events that's are non-white dominant.

Exactly bang out of order to dismiss the racial element.

Op, me and my friends went out in a pub in a working class community in a predominantly white (very small minority of POC) Scottish city once for someone’s 22nd birthday . It was karaoke that Night .

I can’t remember what was said but we were six women. 3 white, 3 POC, they (bar staff and some customers ) made the latter feel very uncomfortable so we all left and one of the (white) girls had words with the manager who just smirked . It wasn’t subtle either, it was very hostile and mocking to half the group.

In that case, I am sorry that you experienced that and it does sound race based on top of being woman based.

I don't even consider going into that sort of pub because they tend to see/treat any female of any race as only in the building to get laid.

I get so frustrated when people think racist microagressions aren’t happening just because someone isn’t ‘obviously’ racist. What a lovely bubble to be living in.

YANBU OP I’m so sorry that happened to you

That is so shit, I'm sorry. I'd have loved to kick him off his barstool for you

That’s shit OP, and although you shouldn’t have to, YANBU to avoid it in future.

All those minimising this by saying it’s about being a woman or maybe OP was the first to walk in or whatever other bullshit excuse, really need to take a look at themselves.

YANBU. There is still a lot of racism unfortunately.

YANBU. I feel uncomfortable in pubs and I'm white. I've been manhandled or felt up in recent times when I've gone out to busy pubs. I don't go out anymore.

I imagine it could be ramped up even further if you are a person of colour.

Working class pubs often have locals who can be quite territorial and antagonistic to anyone they feel doesn't fit in. I think anything that makes you stand out can make you a target for that and being a WOC in a predominantly white area would do that.

So I'm not surprised you'd feel uncomfortable and I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. If you want to fit in you can probably make a place for yourself there by turning up a lot, putting up with the remarks until they stop or you develop enough of a rapport with other pub goers to put them in their place. But even if you wanted to do that, there's always a danger there will be people who are racist enough to not leave it at remarks, so there's a physical risk you just wouldn't have if you were white.

It's upsetting that this is still the case in the UK, well into the 21st century. I'm really sorry you have to put up with it.

Thank you to those validating how I feel.

I think I sometimes fool myself into thinking things have progressed since I was growing up in the 2000s as these people incidents rarely happen anymore. But this is likely because of the little bubble I have created - such as moving into a more affluent area with more diversity, affluence.

Believe it or not this happened in a major UK city, so it is not that there is no likely diversity in this man's day to day life.

My friends did not feel out of place at all - they were oblivious to why I felt uncomfortable. This is a privilege you just don't have being a WOC.

this is common place in that kind of establishment, for women full stop. There’s a certain Wetherspoons in the town I work in that I’d never go to on my own, it’s that kind of place. Ok if there’s a few of you, but even then I’d rather avoid that particular branch

I'm so sorry you experienced this op.

I think racism isn't as openly expressed (thank goodness) and in that way progress has been made. But I think.if you scratch the surface of some people it's still there and obviously you can sense unspoken feelings.
I think as a white woman I'd maybe feel.a bit intimidated my the maleness of this kind of pub but not a feeling of dislike or suspicion toward me which is what the undercurrent of feeling people of colour or a woman of colour may experience.

Horrible feeling for you.