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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep with a 23 year old?

672 replies

Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 18:46

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

OP posts:
Ciphermind · 05/06/2024 19:23

what is the age range and purpose of the dating site ? @Possomoppossum

Hiddenvoice · 05/06/2024 19:23

If you’re both consenting single adults and you like each other then go for it!

ZekeZeke · 05/06/2024 19:24

Grim

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:24

It would purely be sex,nothing more have spoken to him every day for the past week,body looks hot,face too.I went on the site just looking,he was on there,looked fit and when I clicked on his details that had said he was 41,it said he had just put that cos he was into older women but was really in his twenties.

OP posts:
TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/06/2024 19:25

Hashtagihearya · 05/06/2024 19:22

Omg please sleep with him you will love it not creepy at all live your life

This is one of the most bizarre posts I've read in a long while.

How on earth do you know she'll love it?

And "Please sleep with him"?

Weird.

Singleandproud · 05/06/2024 19:25

@Ciphermind Cougar Town was great, Courtney Cox had a fabulous wardrobe and I think only dated younger men at the first season. It was a nice cross between friends and desperate house wives for anyone who hasn't seen it.

ItsFreedomBabyYeah · 05/06/2024 19:25

Who cares!?! If you like one another, if you are attracted to each other. Different courses for different horses. It's not like he's a child. Age is but a number

SamW98 · 05/06/2024 19:25

DotDashDot24 · 05/06/2024 19:10

He's in it entirely for sex.

Specifically for sex with a 'milf"/older woman.

You are 99.9% likely to be considered "invalid" for anything else.

He may be projecting any number of not particularly flattering cliches onto you (horny, desperate, up for it, nympho, "dirty" etc.). Just remember there's no people more ageist than young people, and I tend to find men even more so).

If he tells his mates, it will be viewed by them as much with derogatory humour as anything else.

If you're ok with that, go ahead.

Edited

Absolutely this. The apps are full of young blokes trawling older women’s profiles wanting to tick the MILF box and laughing about it to their mates down the pub.

If that’s doesn’t worry you and you just want a no strings shag then fill your boots but it certainly won’t be anything more than a brag shag for him.

FIouncer · 05/06/2024 19:27

Azandme · 05/06/2024 19:20

I find it interesting that a lot of people answering are around my age (40s) but with adult children in their 20s.

My dd was 7 when I met DP. Perhaps people who have children younger feel older sooner? I can't imagine being the parent of a 20 something person - in my head I'm not old enough. So I don't see people in their 20s as 'YETBLS' as per Bridget Jones. (I am old enough for that).

I know some of my peers are grandparents and I'm definitely NOT even vaguely ready for that.

Edited

IMO having children younger makes you feel younger. You are more likely to enjoy similar things, talk as adults, have grandchildren on the horizon

Finding it gross to shag a young man is personal preference

yumyumyumy · 05/06/2024 19:28

No. He probably wants to have a laugh with his mates that he's fucked someone old enough to be his mum. I'm almost 40 and wouldn't go near someone that age. They seem so childish. Creepy.

redastherose · 05/06/2024 19:29

Well I shagged a 30 year old when I was 46. Met at a nightclub not long after I'd found out my ex was having an affair and we'd separated.

It's fine if it's a bit of a one off, can't see you having anything more than that because you'll have nothing in common but so long as it's just a bit of fun who would you be harming.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/06/2024 19:29

Oh wait, you're the one with the new neighbour who randomly passed you and gave you his phone number, aren't you?

What happened in the end? Did you pop downstairs for sex in the end without your son noticing?

FIouncer · 05/06/2024 19:29

Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:24

It would purely be sex,nothing more have spoken to him every day for the past week,body looks hot,face too.I went on the site just looking,he was on there,looked fit and when I clicked on his details that had said he was 41,it said he had just put that cos he was into older women but was really in his twenties.

It's fine as you're both working age adults

But don't go catching feelings for a 23yo. That is the point that it gets embarrassing

Hellohah · 05/06/2024 19:30

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 05/06/2024 19:22

I am 41. When I was 39 I had sex with a guy that was 29 and he was so so so immature. The way he texted put me right off. I wouldn’t go lower than 35, he’ll be a crap shag, he’ll say ‘ye’ instead of yes and probably be into music you hate. What’s the point?

When I was 38 I had a fwb who was 25 and was the best sex I've ever had.
He was extremely mature, and years later we are still friends.

I once had sex with someone my own age, he was terrible, he was a prick and I cringe at my stupidity.

Your experience with younger wasn't good, mine was great. I've a mixture of experiences with men of many different ages.

OP, if you want to have sex with a 23 year old, go for it. If you feel like you don't want to because it's creepy, then don't. Overall, you regret the things you don't do more than the things you do.

Beezknees · 05/06/2024 19:31

Up to you.

I'm 34 and wouldn't shag a 23 year old personally. They seem like boys to me.

NewPinkJacket · 05/06/2024 19:31

Aren't you shagging your much younger neighbour OP?

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:41

TwattyMcFuckFace · 05/06/2024 19:29

Oh wait, you're the one with the new neighbour who randomly passed you and gave you his phone number, aren't you?

What happened in the end? Did you pop downstairs for sex in the end without your son noticing?

Yh that's me.We had sex about 8 times was good and casual.I think it was getting a bit on top cos of living so close so we have cooled things for now but who knows what will happen in the future,was fun.

OP posts:
Original poster
Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:43

Neighbour is younger but in his 30s

OP posts:
Original poster
Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:45

Thought he was about 32 but he's actually 37

OP posts:
LostTheMarble · 05/06/2024 19:45

Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:45

Thought he was about 32 but he's actually 37

You sound disappointed…

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:48

No,I guessed he was a lot younger but isn't so much so.Tbh I was in a 20 year relationship with my son's dad who is 4 years older than me and have previously never been with anyone younger or even my age.The first person I have slept with who was younger is my neighbour.

OP posts:
sandrapinchedmysandwich · 05/06/2024 19:49

AllyCart · 05/06/2024 19:02

Fuck, shag or have sex with.

How fucking twee is "sleep with" ? 🙄

Who are you to police the language the op chooses to use. Get over yourself

Op I have done similar in the past. And actually the sex was quite average but we had the most insane emotional connection. It was all a bit mind-blowing

Ciphermind · 05/06/2024 19:50

@Possomoppossum whats your preference for what you would prefer or most likely ?

Original poster
Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:53

I think tbh after being in such a long relationship,i just want to have a bit of fun and everything is just new to me so i am just trying to take a bit of time for myself and have a good time with no ties.

OP posts:
Ciphermind · 05/06/2024 19:55

Possomoppossum · 05/06/2024 19:53

I think tbh after being in such a long relationship,i just want to have a bit of fun and everything is just new to me so i am just trying to take a bit of time for myself and have a good time with no ties.

thats understand , have a gooden but always be safe as best as possible.