Page 22 | To sleep with a 23 year old?

Possomoppossum · 2024-06-05T17:46:43+00:00

Given that I am 42,he knows full well how old I am,we met on a dating site where he wanted to meet older women.ok or creepy age gap?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 08/06/2024 09:53

LordPercyPercy · 08/06/2024 09:45

Relationships, yes you absolutely should be. But casual sex, it's not necessary.

I don't think it's necessarily a criteria for relationships even. If both sides wish to have a relationship with each other that's up to them.
I'm not in one myself (literally months between DH and I) but I've known quite a few couples with big gaps in both directions over the years. It was just people who at some stage had fallen in love.

But life stage and age are different. My DH and I have a gap (not massive but big enough that when we met people would have said we were at different life stages). But we were both in the same stage. We wanted the same things, we had the same needs and values. That's what's important in a relationship.

LordPercyPercy · 08/06/2024 10:00

That's what's important in a relationship.

I think what's most important in a relationship is happiness, however the couple find it. It's not really for anyone else to say what specific form that should take as long as it works for the couple in question.

The only one I have judged is the couple who got together when he was fifteen and she was a friend of his mother. Years later he confronted her and called per a paedophile. But that to me is a different issue to two adults with an age gap.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 08/06/2024 10:06

LordPercyPercy · 08/06/2024 10:00

That's what's important in a relationship.

I think what's most important in a relationship is happiness, however the couple find it. It's not really for anyone else to say what specific form that should take as long as it works for the couple in question.

The only one I have judged is the couple who got together when he was fifteen and she was a friend of his mother. Years later he confronted her and called per a paedophile. But that to me is a different issue to two adults with an age gap.

Edited

That is a different issue to two consenting adults, given one was a child...

WeHaveLostSightBlah · 08/06/2024 13:13

Palacelife · 08/06/2024 07:08

I am 43 and my son is 21, I was thinking recently how I’d feel if he had a relationship with a woman my age. I decided I’d think there was something a bit wrong with the woman. I’m sorry but there is a massive imbalance in life experience and emotional maturity.

Exactly. I think there is something wrong with the older party in most cases.

OfcourseitsaNC · 08/06/2024 14:56

yumyumyumy · 08/06/2024 07:53

It's likely the woman is very immature for her age or insecure and seeking validation in a younger man. Or feels like she can control a younger person. None of the reasons are particularly great.

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Or the woman enjoys sex? 🤷

BernardBlacksBreakfastWine · 08/06/2024 15:23

WeHaveLostSightBlah · 08/06/2024 13:13

Exactly. I think there is something wrong with the older party in most cases.

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What kind of ‘something wrong’? Not being facetious- I’m genuinely trying to unpick this. I think some people just think older women are ‘yuck’ so that’s what they would mean by ‘something wrong’. Or do you mean emotionally damaged? Thick? Or is it literally the act of desiring someone younger that’s ‘wrong’? Can you explain?

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 15:26

OfcourseitsaNC · 08/06/2024 14:56

Or the woman enjoys sex? 🤷

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Exactly! They are both around the age of their sexual peak.

mermaidforever26 · 08/06/2024 15:27

StarlightLady · 08/06/2024 15:26

Exactly! They are both around the age of their sexual peak.

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yup

mermaidforever26 · 08/06/2024 15:28

OfcourseitsaNC · 08/06/2024 14:56

Or the woman enjoys sex? 🤷

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exactly!!!

mermaidforever26 · 08/06/2024 15:28

girl just be who you are :)

mermaidforever26 · 08/06/2024 15:30

westisbest1982 · 08/06/2024 08:21

Much more likely is that she’s sexually attracted to him, which some people on here find shocking (reading between the lines - nobody would admit to being a prude).

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indeed older women are sexually & physically more attracted to young men with babyfaces & muscles lol

mermaidforever26 · 08/06/2024 15:32

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 08/06/2024 09:34

Do you need to be at the same life stage to have sex with someone?

Relationships, yes you absolutely should be. But casual sex, it's not necessary.

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exactly

lilkitten · 08/06/2024 17:59

westisbest1982 · 08/06/2024 08:21

Much more likely is that she’s sexually attracted to him, which some people on here find shocking (reading between the lines - nobody would admit to being a prude).

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I can't deny that my 26yo FWB has a very hot young body, and we should be able to say that we just fancy people. I know it won't be forever, he will probably want to meet someone to settle down, but if both parties are attracted to each other I don't see why they can't have fun for a while. I definitely need some fun in my life :-)

DBD1975 · 08/06/2024 18:07

Seriously cannot believe how judgemental some of the responses are to this post. You don't need anyone on here or elsewhere to validate your choices. It is your life and what you choose to do is entirely up to you as long as you are not hurting anyone, he is 23 not 16, fair play to you, enjoy!

PrincessofWells · 08/06/2024 18:09

Absolutely you should. Live!

Palacelife · 08/06/2024 18:09

BernardBlacksBreakfastWine · 08/06/2024 07:49

Depends what you mean by ‘something a bit wrong with the woman’. If you mean, ‘she’s different in her tastes from me’, you’re being very unreasonable!

Many posters have cited their own preferences as if they’re a reason for judging others’ choices. I might not be able to share in the sexual attraction towards much younger men, but I also can’t feel sexual attraction towards women because I’m heterosexual. So whilst it might be true that I couldn’t imagine that a sexual relationship with a woman would work for me, it doesn’t follow that there’s something wrong with a woman who does desire that.

If your son wanted a sexual relationship with an older woman, and the older woman wanted that too, who are you to say it’s ‘wrong’? I’m sure he’s capable of making his own decisions.

There will be some older women whose emotional, as well as sexual, needs are met by a much younger man. We’re all different.

I don’t know - perhaps it’s because I’m not a mother of boys, but I don’t see men in their twenties as little kids who need protecting from scary middle-aged women. I feel the power lies largely with the virile young man! And I’m willing to acknowledge that their may be a bit of ‘woah I scored a milf’ from these lads - but that simply underscores the idea that these men are very comfortable with what they’re doing. Most middle-aged women would be sharp enough to gauge whether notch-scoring was going on, I’m sure. And to decide if they were comfortable with that.

Come on, all this hand-wringing about what women are allowed to do sexually (with consenting adults) is quite absurd; meanwhile men are dressing as dogs in broad daylight and demanding the general public ‘respect their kink’ or whatever. Let’s stand up for women ffs!

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I think men who do the same are also a bit amiss it’s not a woman thing
it’s a 20+ more years life experience

TaylorBrown · 08/06/2024 18:17

Why thou? Do people just think they are racist or am I missing something else? 🤔

BernardBlacksBreakfastWine · 08/06/2024 18:20

Palacelife · 08/06/2024 18:09

I think men who do the same are also a bit amiss it’s not a woman thing
it’s a 20+ more years life experience

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But what exactly is this thing that’s ‘amiss’? I’d genuinely like to know why we view someone’s different tastes as ‘wrong’.

Since no one answered my earlier question, I’ll ask you if I may (quoting myself here!):
What kind of ‘something wrong’? Not being facetious- I’m genuinely trying to unpick this. I think some people just think older women are ‘yuck’ so that’s what they would mean by ‘something wrong’. Or do you mean emotionally damaged? Thick? Or is it literally the act of desiring someone younger that’s ‘wrong’? Can you explain?

Further to this, if the older party is ‘amiss’ or a bit weird or whatever, and that results in their connecting with consenting adults who are significantly younger than them, is that necessarily bad and yuck?

Dewix · 08/06/2024 18:30

Go for it & enjoy yourself.

He's an adult & so are you.

Blades2 · 08/06/2024 18:31

Ick.
im younger than you and wouldn’t.

Laurmolonlabe · 08/06/2024 18:33

I have personal experience of this- when I was 16, my mother was 40 and she started having an affair with my best friends brother who was 21.
All I can tell you is it doesn't end well- my mother married him and he had a constant stream of affairs with women his own age, by the end of the relationship my mother was shattered and mentally broken-it took years for her to recover.
If you just want a bit of fun-fine, but if it gets serious it could be very unpleasant.

FlakyMentor · 08/06/2024 18:36

Go for it! For me it'd be really weird as it's the same age gap as me and my son, but you're both consenting adults. And tbh, I met my husband when he was 22 (I was 25) and he was much better at satisfying me than most older men. So age is definitely not a factor and the sex could be amazing!!

TaylorBrown · 08/06/2024 19:03

TaylorBrown · 08/06/2024 18:17

Why thou? Do people just think they are racist or am I missing something else? 🤔

Sorry this is obviously wrong thread I posted on

SnugLion · 08/06/2024 19:23

We met when he was 24 and I was 47.
Twenty-four years later we’re still very, very happily together.
We’re both professional, intelligent people, and have plenty of shared interests.
Every relationship is different. Don’t judge.

SuperSue77 · 08/06/2024 19:24

Longma · 08/06/2024 09:19

23y and 42y are really NOT at the same life stage. They are generally worlds apart, bar many having a job.

At 23y I was in no way similar to when I was 42y.
My dd is 22y and is no where near the same life stage as a woman/man who,is 41y.

Yes, but they looking for company and sexual intimacy, not a full on relationship or marriage. So long as both parties are able to consent their relatives ages don’t matter.