To challenge a colleague's insensitive behaviour on my friend's behalf?

[NightOwlGirl]

Last week my team was invited to a shared lunch with another team in the same department, the event was organised by managers to promote shared understanding of certain processes. We are lucky enough to have a small kitchen at our office and member of the other team offered to cook pizzas, both meat and vegetarian. One of my good friends and colleague, Emma, is strict vegetarian.

When the pizzas were cooked I observed the team member remove the meat pizzas from the oven followed by the vegetable pizzas using the same utensil. When I saw what he had done I spoke to him and I said "Excuse me but my colleague Emma is a vegetarian, you've just taken the meat pizza out first and then the vegetarian one so you've cross contaminated the two". He looked at me for a moment then laughed and said 'don't worry - she won't mind'. At the point I said quite loudly "How do you know she won't mind? That not for you to decide". This caused other people in the room to stop talking and look up. Feeling slightly embarrassed I left the room. In the end neither me nor Emma took part in the lunch.

I don't regret challenging him, but in hindsight I'm not sure if I could have done it differently. If he had acknowledged his mistake, I wouldn't have raised my voice but it was his casual dismissal and lack of understanding that irritated me. On Friday I had email from my manager saying that the person concerned had emailed her saying that I was unprofessional and I had embarrassed him in front of his colleagues. I don't expect any formal action to come out of this but now I'm worrying that I was unreasonable.

Yeah the whole situation is weird, I've never worked anywhere that's said something like this, it's normally a takeaway gets delivered or you go out for a meal or there's an onsite cafe.

Sometimes at Christmas people each bring in a food item but it wouldn't be something that needed cooking.

You were a huge ass. He had already done it. It couldn't be undone but you made a bug scene anyway.

A quiet word after about cross contamination would have been more appropriate.

My middle son has coeliac disease, so cross contamination is a big issue in situations where gluteny food is prepared alongside gluten free options. My 12 year old can be quite blunt, but even he will come to me or his brother to let them know if he thinks there has been cross contamination and warns him just to not eat anything. We don't make a fuss (unless it's an actual food service establishment where we would point out the dangers politely) and we would all be mortified if anyone made a scene on his behalf.

I agree with PPs that you handled this poorly and probably made a bigger deal than Emma would have liked, not to mention embarrassing a colleague who was trying to do a nice thing for the team. In future, I would have a quiet word with the person who's actually affected and let them decide how they want to handle it.

Well I’m a vegetarian and I wouldn’t have said anything to the colleague, especially when he had made the effort to cook the pizzas for everyone. He just won’t have given the potential for cross contamination much thought. Why would he, it’s not a restaurant. If I was happy that only the pizza bases had been touched with the utensil, I’d have had some pizza. If I wasn’t sure, I’d just politely decline. The way your post reads, you behaved like a bit of an idiot ( being brutally honest).

@greenpolarbear quite. Normal offices have microwaves, for people to heat their own food at their own risk. Not ovens, where untrained staff cook raw food randomly for others?!

This They were both being cooked at the same time after all. If the meat one was on top, a piece of meat could have fallen on it.

He sounds like an idiot. Well done for doing the right thing, OP!

Is this sarcasm?
Many people would not realise sliding a utensil under a pizza could cause such outrage. Raising your voice and scolding a colleague, then leaving in a huff at a team-building event is never “the right thing”.

@Bellsandthistle - no, why would it be? People need to be more careful. Just because it isn’t in your field of experience, doesn’t mean it isn’t an issue. The colleague could have had a life threatening allergic reaction because of the cross contamination. Idiot man server shouldn’t have been so slack with his food hygiene. It’s basic.

And someone with a life threatening allergy will make the appropriate checks themselves than rely on colleagues to make a scene over it.

Someone with a life-threatening allergy would have the initiative and wherewithal to make it known and probably sort the food themselves. Not stand there and observe someone else do it and then scold them for it.
Also, “man server”? 🤨

Oh turn it in!

If she had life threatening allergies, she'd take responsibility for feeding herself.

She wouldn't rely on Nigel from I.T to slam in a frozen pizza.

It was only a utensil on I assume the base. Different for a coeliac with a medical condition but most non veggies epuld fo that on autopilot.

You made yourself look rather silly I'm.afraid.

I'm vegan and presuming no meat residue was actually on my food, I wouldnt have wanted you to do this on my behalf. Unless those of us who don't eat animal products eat only food prepared by ourselves and those we 100% trust, most of us accept our food won't be completely 'pure'. If your friend avoids meat for health reasons, then this won't harm her. If its ethics, well tbh she makes a fair few compromises there by consuming eggs and dairy already. It was good of you to think of her, and a quiet word so he knew in future is fine, but I don't think a public challenge was appropriate.

Fixed for you:

"Excuse me but my colleague Emma is a vegetarian, you've just taken the meat pizza out first and then the vegetarian one so you've cross contaminated the two". He looked at me for a moment then laughed and said 'don't worry - she won't mind'. At the point I said quite loudly "How do you know she won't mind? That not for you to decide". This caused other people in the room to stop talking and look up. Feeling slightly embarrassed I left the room. In the end neither me nor Emma took part in the lunch.

”Hey Nigel from IT… can you do me a favor and cut the veggie one first or wash it in between the meat and veggie pizzas? Or you know what I can cut them. There shouldn’t be any cross contamination from using the same utensil to slide them out of the oven but there could with cutting” And then I cut the pizza and we all had lunch.

If Emma is that strict about her food then she would have supervised the cooking and handling herself, ordered something safe for herself, or refrained from eating. She knows her dietary requirements better than you.
If she was ok with the vegetarian pizza being cooked in the same oven then she was probably ok with it being slid out of the oven with the same tools.
You were rude and unnecessary.

My father is a vegetarian and wouldn’t be bothered but any of that. He loves the smell of bacon!

I suppose people are all different. Maybe explains why pizza man didn’t think it would be a problem.

The pizza incident is a non event though. I don't know anyone petty enough to make a fuss over that.

We need an update.
@NightOwlGirl was formal disciplinary action taken for loudly berating a colleague at a team-building event?