Adult children contributing to costs

[JackyPaper]

I know I’m not being unreasonable to ask for a contribution to household costs from my adult child.
I’m a single parent with a good job but all my income is accounted for so no surplus. I still have under 16s at home. I’ve calculated how much it costs to have them living here (increased council tax, energy etc).
They have gently raised with me that they think it is too much compared to what their friends pay. I said friends parents are clearly subsidising which I’m not prepared to do, even if I could. Adult child works full time.

If you have working adult children living at home, how much rent do they pay you?

There's a half way too you know.

It's not 'free' or 'all of your salary '.

It can be 10% of take home, which allows saving, spending and fiscal responsibility as well

I feel like the "it's parental greed" crew are the same people who wilfully misinterpret what "performance parenting" is LOL. they're on those threads going "so what if I talk to my kids, I love talking to them" .

Yes, you could. But that relies on the adult offspring having somewhere to move into ...

What if they aren't saving? Do you demand to see bank details? What if they are still at home in their late 20's?

I'd ingore @LazyBumMum tbh, she lives in a perfect world where nothing ever goes wrong and no-one is struggling for money. She is so protected in her little bubble, that she can't even imagine a world different to her own.

Well, obviously none of the ones still housing their grown children.

Parental greed. Bloody hell.

I fully intend to charge my children, up to, full market rent, depending on their income. I don't need the money. My intention was to save it all for them (or they could save it themselves) so they could have more towards a house deposit or something like that, starting a business, more education etc. Also, it gets them used to budgeting and living on a smaller amount of money, it replicates real live much more.
If however, you need the money, yes, absolutely charge your children what the cost you to keep them. They're adults after all.

5 years ago, £400 a month.

There was an episode of Michael Moseley’s programme recently where a young couple were living rent free with his Mum so they could save for a deposit. It turned out that they were secretly spending £300 a week on takeaways! If I was his mother I’d have been furious. Two full-time wages between them and they’re sponging off an old woman while they live like kings. Completely shameless.

I can imagine lots of parents being shocked to discover they’ve let their little darlings live at home for years and provided for all their needs, only to discover they haven’t actually saved a bean by the age of 30.

Just checked out some of Michael Moseley’s episodes on youtube.

I’d never heard of him before.

Some of his episodes:

My Weekly Food Shop Is Out of Control 🫤

My Mum Thinks I have a Takeway Problem🫤

My Weekly Shop Is Making Me Bloated.🫤

You really watch that kind of crap? Most of those people seem poor. I’m afraid I don’t really approve of this kind of exploitative TV programming.

So I'm one of those people who would be taking in a lodger if not for having DC at home. I could get £650 a month for a room (due to where I live). I don't have a partner.

I charge DS £300 p/m currently which was a mutually agreed figure. I rent (from a HA) so rent, CT, utilities etc come to £1200 a month. So while his £300 helps out, it's only a quarter of my costs (I don't count food in that, we each buy our own). That is my concession to him being my child! Having him live here and pay £300 as opposed to getting over twice that from a lodger. He benefits by only paying half what he'd be paying to live out of home.

Or if I didn't have to factor in any DC living here, I could downsize to a cheaper part of the country. My rent currently is £850 p/m, I could exchange somewhere smaller/cheaper and be paying £400 instead. I would either do that or get a lodger.

So far from "profiting" from my child, its costing me approx 4k a year to have him here, even with his contribution. That's fine. I'm happy to do it. I'm not happy to have people accuse me of profiting from him!

Maybe you’re landed gentry yourself given that you can’t countenance a person not being able to support an adult child, but no Mosely’s programmes are not poverty porn. They are every day normal families who need educating on their eating habits.

My son is 25... hes on just over 50k...i ask for £100 a month...he is saving to buy a house on his own so im happy to help in this way.

I was really taken by the fact that when my dds boyfriend stayed for a month (I was away and he came to stay) That when I returned he asked me if I wanted him to pay rent, as obviously he'd been showering, cooking etc. DD does pay a contribution to the household and its on the low side, but so are my bills fortunatley.

It made think so much more of him as a person, he wants to pay his own way and offered.

I refused as for me he was here whilst I was away and it didn't cost me anything. They are buying a house together and moving in soon.

I wouldn't particularly want to house share indefinitely with my adult children, especially if they were living rent free. They are supposed to grow up and leave home, and give us time to enjoy living our lives exactly how we want to, having put them first throughout their childhood. We have lives too!

Rent is partly compensation for giving up your space again, as well as covering extra costs.

Normal family—really? You’re trying to portray a couple with 4 kids who’ve moved in with granny so that they can spend £15, 000 a year on takeaways as an everyday normal family? In what world 😳? I can just well imagine the type of people you hang around with 🫤. No wonder some people on here can’t help their children save money for a deposit. Watching these Jermey Kyle type of shows has really skewed their perspective of what normal is 😲.

Zero from mine. I can afford not to and he’s saving up for a high cost professional training course. He’s remarkably good with money. If he was profligate that would be different.

Well it looks like when child benefit stops kids have to start paying to make up for it at a very high cost so instead of the £30 CB parents want hundreds.
As soon as parents know of kids working mum and dad want their share.

@vodkaredbullgirl

until what age?

@LazyBumMum

Young people dont need to have everything handed to them on a plate! It does them good to want and to have things to strive towards.

and they don’t need to go straight from living at home or uni to buying their own place either! Nothing wrong with renting in a grubby house share for a bit. These things are character forming!

I don’t agree with secretly saving kids dig money ,I think that is infantilising them
We don’t charge our Dc rent and have/will assist with house deposits
But no way am I in a middle class bubblr
Was very poor at Uni and have worked very hard to get to where I am now

Since when is child benefit £30 a month?

Exactly! So what if you don’t NEED the money. Just treat yourself - like shop at M&S rather than Tesco or whatever.

no i wont charge for rent. Only groceries. I rather they keep their money towards house deposit.

Until she can afford to move out.