AIBU to wish that there was dedicated housing for quiet people?

[NoMoreNoisePlease]

I’m Autistic(Diagnosed) and I’ve never been a fan of noise but I’m becoming increasingly noise averse as I’m approaching middle age.

I don’t expect complete silence and I actively enjoy hearing two of my neighbours’ children play and having fun but some others seem to spend 3/4 of their time screaming. Why do so many children seem to scream now?

Plus there’s the thump of footballs, rusty trampoline springs, people playing loud music, fireworks and so many other loud intrusive noises.

I want to get away from it all but moving rurally(I’m semi rural) isn’t really the best option for me due to disabilities.

I think that I’m going to have to move to an over 50s complex as soon as I’m old enough. Though I fear the blaring televisions.

AIBU to wish that there was specific housing for quiet noise averse people like me?

When you were a kid, could you not stand yourself?

Goodness you’re taking this very seriously. Even attacking posters. You fo know it’s a fantasy right?

Thanks for reassuring me that detached also has it's own set of problems...

Of course but it does seem that a few places like it exist to varying degrees as others have mentioned and I genuinely am got to look into quieter places even if I do have to wait until I’m 50, but it is infuriating to be told that because we have autism/misophonia/ or just plain don’t like noise that our only option is to live in the middle of nowhere even if it isn’t feasible. It’s ableist to be so dismissive of autism when noise causes me very real problems. I also incredibly irritating to be told that I am demanding that my neighbours not do X, Y or Z when I have done nothing of the sort. That’s equally a fantasy. I’m the one wanting to spend my time and money adapting to my needs. I’m not expecting the neighbours to do anything.

I think society as a whole has become inured to constant noise, such that a person from 100 years ago would not recognise how we live and would be assaulted by all the sounds. Such as:
cars, all the time, everywhere, but particularly major roads which can be heard from a mile or so away (we all learned how quiet it can be without them during lockdown)
televisions on all the time or piped music in shops and bars etc
engines of one kind or another
power tools including my pet hate, the leaf blower

So it isn’t surprising that the volume of humans, as it were - screaming kids, shouting adults - has risen against the tide of background noise.

The only way I can get true quiet is to get up early, and preferably on a nice day get outside in my back garden before 8 to hear the birds. Any later than that and the traffic noise, builders, bin men and school kids get going, and another day of noise is in full swing…

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112703/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_59_act

This put me off selective gated community living . They didn't like barking dogs either . (Spoiler - the dog didn't bark after this )

That sounds bloody marvellous
I'm not ND but I do love a bit of peace and quiet 🤫

Silence between 10pm and 7am. This for me in spades.

I’m not expecting the neighbours to do anything.

err, you’re quite literally expecting them to be the kind of quiet that suits you😆

I hate to rain on anyone's parade,but buying a detached house in a rural area is no guarantee of it being quiet.
I live in one,and was out in my garden last night and could hear the thump thump thump of drum and bass. It was coming from the next village,a mile away. It did stop at midnight,so not an issue,but sound really carries in the countryside,there is no background noise to mask it. I can hear the kids in the primary school a mile away screaming at break time,and the railway 6 miles away,if the wind is in the right direction.

I'm a noise hater,and never allowed my kids to scream for no reason,I remember them having a friend around who did and it was awful. I never invited her again after that.

Yes, in her fantasy community. Not in real life.

If such a community existed, people who didn’t want to live like that wouldn’t have to.

Not sure why you have such an issue with the idea of a designated quiet community?

And yes if I did have a community like that then quiet would obviously be something that we all wanted hence why we chose it. Just as I imagine that most people who attend a Jazz festival are there because they enjoy Jazz and aren’t actually there under duress.

I think the thing is to try to keep your options as open as possible - easier said than done - I can't realistically move now for various reasons but when my kids are older I hope to find somewhere quieter and then not get too attached to it, stay debt free and fairly nimble because the chances of just one individual landing in a neighbourhood and making it miserable are always high. I moved into my end of terrace when the house I was attached to contained a lovely kind chatty old lady who moved after a few years to a flat. The couple who moved in are awful. They are so awful that when I meet new people in the area and we chat about where we live and I tell them, they say " Ah, next door to the loud guy?" I have made my peace with the fact that this street (and the few back to back) are now his environment, not mine (or all the other people who were perfectly quiet and peaceful before) and that could happen anywhere I go

The screaming drives me mad. Next door have a swimming pool and a trampoline in a tiny garden so its right next to the fence

My garden is unusable when they're out which is often until 10pm, full on screaming all day and evening
I sat out once so far this year when they were away and it was absolute bliss
I got told on here I WBU and children scream, then I posted the video of the noise and everyone was oh god not like that

Sorry to burst the bubble but kids are allowed to make as much noise as they do in the UK aside from the ruhrzeit. That's between 12-1 and after 11pm. Even then, you're not really going to call the police about a trampoline being bounced on, they won't send a SWAT team round, even on sacred Sundays.

or the four little gits who kick a ball at full force at the side of my house for two hours a day and hang on the doorbell because the ball has gone into my garden AGAIN

Sign me up OP! The children by me have ruined my weekend! Like you - children playing in their gardens at normal level - fine- happy they are outside. It’s the screaming and shouting I can’t stand - we had 4 sets of kids from up to 5 gardens away just screaming all weekend - their parents don’t do anything about it! Then there’s the footballs against the fences from 7:30 am, the squeaking of the trampoline all day. And their teenage siblings learning to drive their mopeds! I’d like to think I’m a considerate neighbour - I never play music outside. Only mow the lawn between 11:00 and 17:00 (and try to do it mid week too when folk are at work). Don’t have loud parties etc. i find it really infuriating that people don’t seem to care about preventing others from enjoying a bit of peace and quiet in their home/ garden.

You are definitely not being unreasonable @buffyslayer ! The screaming is just so awful - I’ve had it all weekend along with the trampoline (I could deal with that without the screaming). I just don’t get why the kids aren’t being taught to play without the screaming.

This is all day and all evening. My TV is on its normal volume

https://youtube.com/shorts/-eUqVY97QM?si=8MPRiiNJBee_Cfh9p

You have my sincere sympathies, Buffyslayer. I’d find that utterly intolerable. That’s even worse than the screaming I have to suffer.

I don't think I'm autistic but I really struggle with it. It's audible through double glazing, at the other side of the house and can't sit in my garden with it going on

I’m an awkward one. I would love somewhere that was really quiet, where I live is pretty good, but I love silence. However, as well as being autistic, I have adhd and Tourette’s, so I’m really quite noisy. I chat, shout and sing a lot of shite, the majority of the time, okay some makes sense but most of it is random shite my head has created 😂 so, I’m not quite sure where I’d fit in tbh 😂

Maybe lawn mowing should only be done with hand tools. It would certainly encourage more wildflower meadows which only need strimming once a year.

I lived next door years ago to a lady who would trim her lawns (not a euphemism), with a pair of scissors.

I would contact environmental health tbh. That’s insane