AIBU to wish that there was dedicated housing for quiet people?

[NoMoreNoisePlease]

I’m Autistic(Diagnosed) and I’ve never been a fan of noise but I’m becoming increasingly noise averse as I’m approaching middle age.

I don’t expect complete silence and I actively enjoy hearing two of my neighbours’ children play and having fun but some others seem to spend 3/4 of their time screaming. Why do so many children seem to scream now?

Plus there’s the thump of footballs, rusty trampoline springs, people playing loud music, fireworks and so many other loud intrusive noises.

I want to get away from it all but moving rurally(I’m semi rural) isn’t really the best option for me due to disabilities.

I think that I’m going to have to move to an over 50s complex as soon as I’m old enough. Though I fear the blaring televisions.

AIBU to wish that there was specific housing for quiet noise averse people like me?

Sounds great in theory, but the reason why this wouldn't work is because ND people are only averse to others' noise – and not their own!

This is true to an extent. But it wouldn’t just be for ND people and while everyone inevitably makes noise at times, some of us are genuinely very quiet as a rule. I certainly am.

I'm a silence person. I wfh and never have the radio on or any music playing etc. I love peace and quiet and like you, I have become more like this as I've got older.

I'm sitting in the garden now and all I can hear are birds. It's lovely. I live in a London terrace with houses also backing onto us but I've been lucky here. It really isn't noisy that often. The neighbours at the back do have loud parties sometimes but I can't hear it from the front where my bedroom is and they're always late ones where I'm usually on the way to bed before it starts.

It's one of the reasons I won't move from here, unless things change. As I've ironically never lived anywhere this peaceful! Even though I've lived in rural areas before.

I'm just not sure when people became so inconsiderate to others.
I just didn't let my dc make a lot of noise outside especially before 9 am or after 7 .
Music just keep it very low or use headphones.
Yes I've had bbqs and parties but I've told the neighbours and usually invited them .After 11 everyone inside.
Didn't walk home late talking loudly , giggling laughing .
I've never been so delighted when neighbours moved taking their constantly barking dog and screaming loud kids away.
They never made any effort to tone it down in anyway

Good insulation is important too.

I fail to see the problem with people seeking a community that works for them,

Hmm, well there are several examples on this thread alone.

I suspect what you mean is you just want people around you to live how you want them to.

there are plenty of houses in the middle of nowhere; where does it stop- too loud wave? Too loud birds? Car in the distance

I suspect what you mean is you just want people around you to live how you want them to.

there are plenty of houses in the middle of nowhere; where does it stop- too loud wave? Too loud birds? Car in the distance

That’s for me to decide where my tolerance limits are. And the point of the community would be that we change our environment to suit ourselves and leave everyone else to live as they wish. Besides as I already posted in my OP and which you apparently decided to ignore, living in the middle of nowhere doesn’t work for me due to various disabilities that I have.

I’m wondering if you’re one of those people who are so wedded to the idea that they have every right to make as much noise as possible regardless of the impact on their neighbours because you seem terribly offended/put out by the idea that some of us would prefer/ indeed require a quieter way of life. I fail to see why that offends you when it requires no accommodation from you because I presume that you’d hardly be the first in line to sign up for it.

But if everyone agrees to live in the same way which they all want, why is that a bad thing?
If I want my neighbours to live in a certain way, and they want that too, and want me to live that way that I want to, why is that wrong? We're all happy. We're not forcing you to live there as well. We'll do it by ourselves.

The problem with this is the British weather, it could (more than likely) be raining in the designated allowed time zone, I think a lot of people mow their lawns after watching a weather report and mowing when it’s guaranteed to be dry!

If a group of musicians and singers decided to found a building that’s not near anyone, with dedicated rehearsal spaces and an acceptance that regular practice, regardless of volume, will be allowed throughout the day I really can’t imagine why I’d have any objections unless I was being forced to live there.

I've lived in lots of different cities, terraced houses, flats. Lots of people living next to each other and never had a problem with noise. We all had to live together so we were considerate and respectful.

After my experience of very noisy neighbours I am really sensitive to loud music and shouting. The very noisy neighbours hated other people's noise!

It was so upsetting. My need for quiet didn't impact them but their noise made me sick. No one really understand what a number it does on your health unless they've been through it. We need peace and quiet to thrive.

I've since moved and it's bliss. People mow their lawns and walk their dogs.

Maybe for your quiet area you could have a probationary period?

Great in theory but the most noise I get in my house is from next door but one and next door but two. Next door but two will play music in his garden on full blast. Next door but one is a fog horn of a woman. Honestly, my downstairs is knocked through. I can be at the front of my house but if my back window is open I can hear her talking to her kids in her garden. Two houses away.

Why on earth she needs a cat scarer machine? I didn’t know they even exist.

My neighbours shout at each constantly it does my head in. (I live in a flat). There's lots of ideas on Google for quiet housing. I like this one, attached

Good threads topic OP.

Can I just say, for those who don't have the option of moving at present...

• Invest in noise cancelling headphones

• Put more relaxing noise on. I can't soundproof some rooms without spending a fortune. Tried those YouTube relaxing noise videos (Search Healing frequency Hz or Malte Marten and you get shown a whole list of hippy loveliness). Not perfect but it does help "cover" the bad noise.

"Why do so many children seem to scream now?" I remember my dad asking this when I was a child almost 40 years ago. He bought a house near a good primary school to ensure we'd get in then spent the next 60 years complaining about the noise and refusing to move!

Detached houses sadly are no protection from other peoples' children, builders, loud garden machinery, dogs, outdoor music, hot tubs and all the rest.

A house all by itself in the middle of 10 acres of private land is my dream. It doesn't need to be big.

This...you don't really notice it as it's background.

%3D%3D

I would also love this!

Also, after being away for a few days, I wish hotels had volume limiters on their TVs (and provided headphones). Some people have music and TV programmes up SO high!

And someone needs to tell the mobile phone companies to reinstate the headphone jacks on devices as well.

I made a post about this, this morning (sort of). I'm autistic too. I hate the neighbours kids playing!!!

I have kids myself but I hate the screaming and football banging against the fence.

Gardening calms me but not here.

YANBU.!

@WoollyFurs

What's wrong with plain silence? I don't need constant noise in my life even if it is a "healing frequency".

That is like fingers down a chalk board to me.

@oakleaffy

I am seriously wondering if I too have autistic traits.

People like you are the reason most people don't take our disability seriously.

I'll join you too. I'm not looking forward to moving house as it's generally lovely and quiet here. The odd dog will bark but it's no longer than 5 minutes, plenty of children playing and laughing at the nursery but no screamers (except in September with the new intake until the staff have taught them not to scream). Just birdsong, the odd car in the distance and lawn mowing but most neighbours seem to copy each other so when one starts another joins within 15 minutes, then another. The whole street is done in 2 hours and then it's quiet for a fortnight 😂

I can cope with noise if I can guess when it will end such as lawn mowing. It's the 24/7 loud radios, revving bikes, party animals, hot tubs etc that make me murderous 😡

Yes. I don’t mind the noise of a lawn mower as it is doing its job being noisy. Blasting music is just selfish.

Great idea. The closest you can probably get is a detached bungalow in a road full of other bungalows. No guarantees as they are becoming more popular with younger people but other than age restricted communities it's probably the best you can do.

People like you are the reason most people don't take our disability seriously.

I think that's a little unfair. I started by wondering the same thing, and that eventually led to my NHS diagnosis.