AIBU to wish that there was dedicated housing for quiet people?

[NoMoreNoisePlease]

I’m Autistic(Diagnosed) and I’ve never been a fan of noise but I’m becoming increasingly noise averse as I’m approaching middle age.

I don’t expect complete silence and I actively enjoy hearing two of my neighbours’ children play and having fun but some others seem to spend 3/4 of their time screaming. Why do so many children seem to scream now?

Plus there’s the thump of footballs, rusty trampoline springs, people playing loud music, fireworks and so many other loud intrusive noises.

I want to get away from it all but moving rurally(I’m semi rural) isn’t really the best option for me due to disabilities.

I think that I’m going to have to move to an over 50s complex as soon as I’m old enough. Though I fear the blaring televisions.

AIBU to wish that there was specific housing for quiet noise averse people like me?

But my argument against Quiet Living enclaves is - what if you are generally a quiet person but want to have visitors who might be a bit noisy? Or you want a party - strictly a one off but it might get loud?

A party where you have a few people round and play some music at a volume that won’t disturb others is fine but personally speaking no, a party that gets loud with loud music not be acceptable in the sort of place that I’m thinking of. Hire a venue if you want one of those. Allowing that sort of thing ruins the whole point of the place imo.

You get permission / buy-in for occasional noise making. If you’re generally quiet and considerate, then you inform your neighbours ahead of time eg that you’re having a party until X time then it’s very likely they won’t mind at all.

A neighbouring teen did this, posted a note to all the neighbours saying she’d be having a party on X date which would involve cars parking outside, people and music, which would be turned off at midnight sharp, and she did! I felt so warm to her just because of her courteous note and that it’s a rare occurance.

I wish that I could move to Switzerland.

I'll happily let other people live exactly how they want as long as I can live how i want. But people insist on getting annoyed or interrupting those things.
I would happily pay extra to avoid excess noise. But then others who want to make noise would insist on coming in. Like quiet coaches.
I'd pay extra for quiet planes, trains, restaurants, cinemas (which should already be quiet but I'd pay extra to guarantee it).
I save and save to buy a detached house and yet I can guarantee you people on here would be annoyed at me for "having a house bigger than I need". Yes it is. I'd much rather have a nice small flat. But I physically cannot tolerate the noise in one. If I could live somewhere that was a "quiet" block I'd do it tomorrow. But I guarantee you the noisy people would move in claiming they need exceptions made for them to make noise and I'm back to square one.

I’ll come as long as my neighbours who don’t have much to say apart from fuck this and shit that and crap the other aren’t invited. Every single time they’re outside that’s all I hear. I don’t mind swearing at all normally, but come on, surely not in a quiet garden on a Sunday afternoon?

Yes sounds like bliss.

Upstairs neighbours have apparently forgotten they live a first floor flat and the thumping footsteps and lack of parenting is terrible.

I had the same thought yesterday. Moved here 10 years ago, between one retired and one middle-aged couple, who have grown up kids who’ve moved out. I have DD but I’ve always made her keep noise to a minimum, especially outside. No houses behind us, so I thought the gardens especially would always be quiet.

i didn’t realise two doors down would be so fond of having a ton of people over. I was enjoying the quiet yesterday until a minimum of 10 adults turned up, all with screaming or crying kids, drowning out the sound of their thumping dance music 😕

When I was young screaming was for emergencies. The little darlings over the back from me could be in mortal peril and you wouldn't know the bloody difference.

This. And there are some. My boyfriends apartment complex is dog free. Mine is not unfortunately.

I didn’t think about it really until a neighbour let her unleashed dog run around the building and jump up and scratch me then refuse to leash it when I asked her.

The following week a (different ) dog pissed in a lift and the owner decided to just leave the pool of piss for someone else. I know it was a different dog because apparently they were caught on cctv and the property manager person told me it wasn’t the same one which jumped up on me (which I’d reported) 😑

tbf there haven’t been any incidents since then and I know a letter was sent to the dog owners about keeping your dog leashed and cleaning up after them. I still don’t bother going in the communal garden etc though due the dogs.

Why should someone be exiled to the middle of nowhere with no amenities just for wanting some peace from screaming kids, barking dogs, loud music and BBQ chatter in their own space.

Can there be a designating mowing/ power tools hour too. It’s a beautiful day here but all I can hear is mowers etc. as soon as one stops another one starts. Enough already!

I can't wait til I'm old enough to live in a retirement complex.

Yes! Eg 10am to noon on a Sunday. That’s reasonable. Then everyone knows come midday they can relax in peace. Surely people would sign up voluntarily to do this?

Although the other occupants might have noisy grandchildren visit them. And yes agree dogs should not be living in flats.

Sounds a dream. I have a chronic illness that makes me very sensitive to sounds, so I'd love somewhere like this.

Fantasy world I’d love this. Also include a soundproofed hall for residents to have events.

No dogs as when you get a dog you don’t know how much it will bark (even getting a dog rather then a puppy).

Would need some houses further away that you would have to move to if circumstances change. (You become responsible for a child due to a bereavement) or just decide to have kids.

Unfortunately in the real world it would not be enforceable due to things like disability discrimination. if someone develops dementia you couldn’t make them move from their home just because they became a bit noisy especially if it was the noise in between quieter than usual that the other residents want and very loud noise unacceptable anywhere.

I never liked partying and really love living in peace and silence. I had an extremely loud flatmate once, who would go to bed at 3am and didnt have to wake up late, I was becoming suicidal because of noise of door banging and I could not just move out like that. Would have loved back in the day to just be able to live in a sociable but quiet and respective space.

Is it Germany that limits noise from people , if so I wish we could have that .
Back firing loud cars / motorbikes are banned
No lawnmowers etc before 9am
No loud music ever , if you want to hear it put headphones on
No constant screaming / dog barking / arguing
Oh if only

I'm coming with you.

Well yes, but everyone wants quiet neighbours!who is going to sign up to have noisy ones?

You know people really don't get it when someone complains about their neighbour making a noise and someone else says "well when your toddler gets you up at 6am, why not retaliate with the hoover / "the wheels on the bus" etc at top volume" and you think NOOOOOO ! It's just legitimising people being noisy arseholes to be a noisy arsehole! They won't experience it as retaliation, they will just think "good I live near people who don't mind noise I'll turn the garden stereo up a few notches this afternoon". And if they did experience it as retaliation - would it make them shut up, or escalate?

It’s interesting that different cultures (and even different areas) have very different attitudes to noise.

In France, especially in cities, they are very strict and you really can’t make much noise at all in the evenings without getting shouted at and even the police being called. Luckily the area I am living in now is decent (suburban sw London), normal family noises but pretty quiet in the evenings.

To me, making others listen to loud noise isn’t much different to a smoky barbecue going into someone else’s garden or littering, all forms of pollution but some seem to think very differently about it.

Barky dogs are really irritating
Mine doesn’t even bark if the postman/ woman knocks.

Mum moved to get away from a yelping Schnauzer
Some dogs are far worse at barking than others.

It is possible to have quiet dogs
Sighthounds are usually quiet 🤫 in my experience- but there are exceptions to every rule
I looked after my friend’s Whippet and she was barking- but my own dog is so quiet people have said “Is there a dog in there?!”

I save and save to buy a detached house and yet I can guarantee you people on here would be annoyed at me for "having a house bigger than I need".

This. We're rattling around, two of us with four bedrooms and four bogs because am I buggery going to be attached to neighbours and at the mercy of how loud or quiet they choose to be.

Also diagnosed ASD.

Sounds like utter bliss. Can I come? Swear the neighbours here have a rota for power tools - no sooner does one stop then another one starts so it lasts all day.