Do your parents help you out with money without you asking

[Hihosilvertoffeenosedranger]

Our car broke down a few weeks and will cost £2000 to repair, we simply haven’t got it at the moment and are renting a car until we can save up/get a loan. It’s obviously very difficult to save up as the renting of the car is now costing us money. My parents know this and haven’t offered to help in any way (they can afford to) even as a loan. I won’t ask them.
Would your parents see this and offer to help? (If they were able to)

Oh, and I'm approaching forty, DH is forty and both sets of parents are much, much better off than us.

No never not since I've worked in a proper job, as in not cash in hand type jobs whilst at uni etc

My dad gives me money all the time! He'll just drop £50 into my account and say 'get yourself a treat' or something like that. He is not well off at all but the couple of occasions he's come into some larger sums of money, his first thought is to take some for himself and split the rest between us siblings - no amount of protesting will stop him because he takes great joy from giving. He will often say, 'don't deprive me of the joy of blessing my kids'. We're all in our 40s and have decent salaries.

To be fair though, sooner or later the money always ends up back with him. I'll 'buy myself a treat' but I usually pick him up a new shirt or something he needs in the house, so it's basically the same money just changing hands. I do lots for him, all his shopping, house admin and medical appointments so I think this is his way of saying thank you.

Generosity is something that's always run through our family and if it was in our means to help another member of the family, we absolutely would and wouldn't need to be asked. I can't imagine knowing that my dad or one of my siblings was struggling and not helping.

For some people, they think money gives them security and they hang on to it very tightly. Yes, be sensible but ultimately you could die today or lose it all so if it's within your means, why not help someone else?

My mum didn't have much, but was okay. She would have given the shirt off her back to make sure us kids were okay. We grew up poor, so it gave her immense pleasure to be able to help us out. I'm not talking house deposits or anything of that ilk, just a week's shopping for example.

I'll help mine where I can. Small amounts, yes, but bunging my daughter £20 this weekend has meant she can afford to go out with her friends whilst she's visiting me. I also pay for her cat's food.

I don't understand why you wouldn't help out your kids if you're able to.

If I had a large unexpected bill my parents would ask if I needed the money or any help towards it. I would say no as I’m an adult who works and saves for unexpected bills. However as a younger adult in my twenties after buying first property etc they did offer and I did accept financial help.
But in my family me and my brother also check if the other is ok for large unexpected bills. My brother got ill on holiday recently, bill was £1700, I offered to put in on my credit card until the insurance was sorted, he declined and used his own.

I never needed to take money off my parents but I do give my children money ( In their 20's a weekly deposit in to their account to help with rent),

My mum couldn't afford to, she is single paying a mortgage but my grandfather is comfortably off and he would in an emergency.

Yes my parents would help me out if I needed. They could afford to, so I think that makes a big difference. They were very kind, thoughtful and generous people.

I've helped my kids without being asked. Because I know they'd never ask me.

My grandmother left everything she had to a charity, because 'we'd never asked her for help so we didn't need it'.
We'd actually needed a lot of help but there's no way I'd have asked my elderly grandmother. But apparently she felt offended and 'not needed' because we didn't.

I have no idea why she needed us to ask, instead of just saying 'i hear that you're struggling, please can you let me help?' it was bizarre

When our car needed repairing we had to take it off the road and wait till we could afford to pay for it. My parents had no money at all - in later years I had to give DM money. DHs parents needed their money to pay for her care. We have always been self sufficient.

My parents would help me out if I needed it. They wouldn't necessarily give me money (nor would I expect them to) but would happily lend me some. However, if I were desperate for cash I would take out a personal loan. I wouldn't feel comfortable being indebted to family.

My parents are very fair people. I know they have lent my sister money several times over the years, which conveniently she seems to forget to repay. I only know this because they did give me money a few years ago, equal to what they had given my sister.

Have you reported them. Surely there's something the bosses can do with a cling on?

I'm in the same boat as you OP. Parents haven't given any support - even whilst at uni. The attitude is once you're 18 you're on your own. That's despite getting help from parents themselves. I have savings accounts for my children and hope I could help if they needed it in the future. I'll also encourage them to help their own children, should they have any, in the same way. I think people who have it easy forget how hard it is for others and fall into the trap of thinking things are easy for them be they worked hard and others need to do the same. They often forget help or privileges they have received themselves.

Mine do.

They'd have likely given the deposit to go get a replacement car, straight away.

I'm always getting help like money for emergencies. They love helping out.

I love them helping out.

They can afford it, and I really appreciate it.

I plan to do the same for my dc.

I've seen all my friends have to struggle on, when they had parents that could help out, but didnt. So I do know how fortunate I am.

We don't usually. However DH was discussing with his parents that we needed a new boiler. His parents jumped in and said they'd offer us a loan and paid it back to whatever we could afford. We would have managed taking it out of various saving pots. However they said the money was sat there in their account and they didn't want us to use savings for it. We have a standing order paying them back every month. I would rather just give them the money back (we aren't struggling) but that's between DH and his parents.

No. I've helped them out in the past however.

I've never had any money from my parents. My dad seems to be quite well off.

I'd be too embarrassed to ask my parents for money as an adult.

Exactly this and I would expect to do the same. That’s what a family is.

Ha! I wish. My mum never did because my dad never paid maintenance so she scraped by and dad hoards everything, including money. Refuses to even spend on his house which is falling down around his ears (because he refuses to spend on it). He has already told me there won't be anything for me when he goes by pretending to be worried I won't have any money when I am old, so I am fairly sure I've been signed out of the will, even though I'm the only child. It's funny because as a kid he wanted to be the "cool dad" so would let me spend hours shopping and pay for it rather than show proper love. Now he's angry if I go on holiday with my own money, no chance of offering any of his!

Correct but the way the poster posted it, their dad was contributing a couple of hundred quid as he wanted to help reduce the stress but you are correct

My DM would have given me the food off her plate. Nothing made her happier than giving to her children and grandchildren. She was also really aware of the unfairness of wealth sitting with one generation due to eg property values, student loans which meant she was determined to help when she could. I will absolutely do the same for my children.

This covers it exactly.👍

Nope. I'm lucky if my mum offers to pay for lunch.

My parents would, and have done for my sister, who's needed some financial support through different circumstances.

My ILs just wouldn't, despite being fair wealthier than my parents.