To wonder if you would consider him a good catch?

[Twix33]

No driving licence
Has been living at home for years, has a decent deposit but apparently there's 'nothing on the market ' yet
Earns just over min wage- said he's happy where he is ATM, applied for 1 promotion then gave up
Refuses to do overtime to earn any more
No particular hobbies outside of the usual footy, going for food etc.
Said he couldn't be bothered to learn another language, even just a few words
No particular skills or talents
I'd say he's fairly nice but not lovely, he's one of those who's good at acting friendly and being polite but he's not the most honest of people and wouldn't go out of his way for you, but he's not nasty or aggressive at all
I'd say he is ok ish looking, wouldn't consider handsome at all

You're probably thinking what on earth is the point of this thread, but if you read this list would you think 'id go for someone like that', or 'I can do better'?

Well if you're unsure enough about him to be posting a thread on mumsnet, then you're probably not sure enough to have a relationship with him, are you?

From what you've said, I wouldn't date him if he was the last guy on earth. He sounds like a tiresome man child.

@Twix33 is this man your BF or has he asked you out?

You said you would clarify but you haven't

This is quite a pedantic post @Ilovelurchers Of course we all tell white lies sometimes, but if someone is described as "not the most honest of people" then obviously it's more than that.

You don't like him (looks or personality wise) so what's the point?

Im just asking a general question, which is if people would date him based on the info I've given.

No, of course not. Because every thing you've described makes him sound very unappealing.

I don’t date people without hobbies. I’m generally not friends with people without hobbies either. For me, having interests outside of work is essential for good conversation.

Me too.

What is there to like about him? He can't be bothered to do much, has no drive or ambition and no major interests.

Imagine him arranging a birthday party for a partner - no!
Imagine him being bothered to help a child with homework - no!
Imagine him cooking and cleaning if his wife was poorly - no!
Imagine him responding to a financial emergency - not a chance!

I'm bored & irritated already and I haven't even met him.

He definitely wouldn’t be considered to be ‘a catch’ by most people, seems weird you ask this- surely it’s fairly obvious from your list? He may meet someone who feels a connection with him, and they may either not be bothered by some of these things or they may overlook them. He in turn might (big might) change some of his ways for someone he really likes- he may not go out of his way for people normally but he might for someone he likes, in the short term at least. Or equally he’ll find someone with fairly weak boundaries and they’ll put up with him. Sounds like he’s waiting for a woman to take over the role of his mum and dad, which is not at all an attractive prospect to most people- I’d avoid this one OP!

Can you list your positive and negative points OP compared to this man? What are your greatest strengths?

Would work for me. They sound a bit dull and like they don’t have much about them

Sorry would NOT work for me

No...I mean some of what you have listed is pretty normal.
Lots of people don't have any hobbies except following football. Don't speak a language etc.
Lack of a driving licence wouldn't bother me

It's interesting he has saved a decent "deposit" on minimum wage - is he ex-forces or do his parents just pay for everything? In which case he would struggle to live alone and pay mortgage.

Is it the 22yr old who thinks he is "sound" he sounds quite impressionable. No issue with cling him a kid.

I mean I was married with 1 child and 1 on way at 31 and the discrepancy between my life, my career and aspirations, my salary etc would probably make it a non-starter unless it was some how love at first sight.

But the reason I wouldn't consider him datable, let alone a catch, is you saud he's not that honest or that nice.

None of these things would really matter if you actually liked him. So you don’t particularly like him? That might be the issue here?

I'm not sure it matters what we think. You and him sound incompatible, so no, he's not a catch FOR YOU. It sounds like you need to keep on looking, it doesn't sound like this man would make you happy.

Are you asking folks to judge a bloke your friend likes? Why?

Couldn't have said it better. 🌹

You listed a load of negative and unappealing traits... of course very few people would date him based on that 😕 There aren't many redeeming qualities there!

I think OP thinks she should date this friend because her mate says she should, she doesn’t want to cos she isn’t attracted to him and now she’s a bit confused.

Nope

OP needs to think for herself then... if you're this uncertain about someone then you definitely shouldn't date them.

I definitely wouldn't consider him a "good catch", as that implies someone impressive above the average. He's certainly not that.

I don't really understand why you're asking. On every aspect he seems below average. Not living independently, low income, no hobbies or interests, not good looking and not a particularly nice person. Like, on what planet is he even average never mind a "good catch"? The nicest thing you say about him is he's not aggressive or nasty, which is such a low bar.

But why does it matter if other people would or wouldn't?

Different people have different expectations,standards and boundaries. They also have different benchmarks for attractive. What you consider okish looking might be very attractive to someone else.

His value to YOU shouldn't increase or decrease based on other people's willingness to date him. After all, there are serial killers in prison that get love letters and offers for marriage.

He sounds like a lazy loser with no ambition or interests.
Bet he would be a poor partner and father.
Dishonesty is a huge red flag.