To wonder if you would consider him a good catch?

[Twix33]

No driving licence
Has been living at home for years, has a decent deposit but apparently there's 'nothing on the market ' yet
Earns just over min wage- said he's happy where he is ATM, applied for 1 promotion then gave up
Refuses to do overtime to earn any more
No particular hobbies outside of the usual footy, going for food etc.
Said he couldn't be bothered to learn another language, even just a few words
No particular skills or talents
I'd say he's fairly nice but not lovely, he's one of those who's good at acting friendly and being polite but he's not the most honest of people and wouldn't go out of his way for you, but he's not nasty or aggressive at all
I'd say he is ok ish looking, wouldn't consider handsome at all

You're probably thinking what on earth is the point of this thread, but if you read this list would you think 'id go for someone like that', or 'I can do better'?

My DH is a bit like this, although he goes out of his way to be kind to me and my family whenever possible. But he’s low on oomph.

Is it annoying? Yes! You end up being the only person driving your lives forward. Would I marry him again? No. I’d live with him, though. He’s a great shag.

Not everyone devotes their life to work, but this guy has no interests and no motivation and isn’t even particularly kind. What’s the point? OP will just be back in a few years on here with a baby in tow, bemoaning her horrible choice of life partner.

The thing is he pulled a face about wanting kids but then said he'd 'probably end up having them one day". Poor kids with an attitude like that.

The more the Op writes makes me feel this is a wind up...

The only thing I know about you OP is that you write with reasonable SPAG accuracy, and I'm still convinced you can do waaaay better.

it's definitely not a wind up I can assure you

I'm married to a very vanilla man 😁 but by god he makes me laugh, we have alot in common and he wants to see other parts of the world/do interesting things (even if that's not for a little while as we have young children), and I'm quite happy with him but when you said he's not the most honest person and wouldn't go out of his way to help you....nope, that would be it. By all means keep this person as a friend/acquaintance if you want, but he definitely isn't boyfriend/husband material.

Not one redeeming quality.

I'm sure he's a nice enough man, and probably has redeeming qualities. He doesn't seem like one of life's 'go getters' so if he isn't for you just tell him so.

I've been mulling this type of question over recently due to creative writing and characterisation. I think the key is that he wouldn't go out of his way for you, that is what would make him not at all a catch for me. I think what most people are looking for in a partner is to know they are loved, know that they are top of the list for the other person, know that they will have your back come what may.
Cheerful is great, and underrated in my opinion, but if he isn't so into you that you feel like he'd go out of his way for you then he's not a keeper.

If he doesn't suit you then he doesn't suit you. Is your friend who thinks he's sound, viewing him as a long term prospect, or as a mate? He'll find someone who he clicks with. The dishonesty would make it a no from me. Exciting/unusual hobbies can become a pain when in a long term relationship.

I’m really surprised you need to ask if you can do better, of course you bloody can!

He's not a good catch on paper he is a very average unambitious man. But he would be a good catch for a similarly unambitious woman (or gay man) who shared his sense of humour and had her emotional and physical neeeds met by him.

'....he's not the most honest of people and wouldn't go out of his way for you', no thanks.

Nope. Not a keeper. Mainly due to lack of drive /passion about anything. Could be anything - a hobby, job, career, sport.......

Also if DC are important to you then he doesn't sound like he's the one to make a baby with.

Definitely not a good catch. Hardly a man of the world.

Probably content and molly cuddled being looked after in the family home by mumsy. Having his washing done and all bills paid.

My OH had left home at 16 to join the Army. Left at 21 and never returned home to his parents.

What is the issue with not making up your mind, but possibly seeing them in your future if you met someone who wanted them?

Nope.

He doesn't sound very dynamic, but you haven't said what are his positive qualities / plus points?

And what would people say about you if they had to write a list of your negative points?

I don't know, there isn't per se it was just the way he said it in a very blasé manner as if he were getting a takeaway or something.

Apologies, thought I'd listed the positives.
Generally cheerful disposition, not nasty or aggressive. Can be easy to talk to, convo flows.

I'm sure I'd have plenty of negatives 🤣

There would have to be one hell of a spark to get past the list of poor-to-mediocre characteristics.

The living at home and not being interested in languages would make it a no from me. Money doesn't motivate me, but being interested and interesting does.

You lost me at wouldn't go out if his way for people.

Honestly he sounds like someone who is drifting through life. He doesn't seem to have anything he actually likes doing. Cba with work, no hobbies, no personality.

I could probably live with that if he was a kind person but if not then sounds like no redeeming features at all,

Hell no from me.

Then raise your bar off the floor as youd be miserable