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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if you would consider him a good catch?

197 replies

Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:23

No driving licence
Has been living at home for years, has a decent deposit but apparently there's 'nothing on the market ' yet
Earns just over min wage- said he's happy where he is ATM, applied for 1 promotion then gave up
Refuses to do overtime to earn any more
No particular hobbies outside of the usual footy, going for food etc.
Said he couldn't be bothered to learn another language, even just a few words
No particular skills or talents
I'd say he's fairly nice but not lovely, he's one of those who's good at acting friendly and being polite but he's not the most honest of people and wouldn't go out of his way for you, but he's not nasty or aggressive at all
I'd say he is ok ish looking, wouldn't consider handsome at all

You're probably thinking what on earth is the point of this thread, but if you read this list would you think 'id go for someone like that', or 'I can do better'?

OP posts:
Churchview · 30/05/2024 20:34

Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:33

He's travelled to an interesting country or two, does that count?

To fight over football perhaps?

Original poster
Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:34

My other friend raves about how 'sound' he is. I think it's because he likes a laugh and a joke and smiles a lot.

OP posts:
Cofaki · 30/05/2024 20:35

He sounds a terrible "catch"! Nothing in that list is sounding attractive. Next!

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2024 20:35

Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:33

He's travelled to an interesting country or two, does that count?

Not if he didn't bother to learn to say hello, please, thank you, excuse me, sorry and count to ten.

I've travelled to lots of countries and I learn the above and more.

DeedlessIndeed · 30/05/2024 20:35

Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:33

He's travelled to an interesting country or two, does that count?

I think this is discounted due to his complete lack of interest in other cultures (see language).

I mean, who cares if he travelled if there is nothing interesting about why he had done so.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 30/05/2024 20:36

Is this your daughter's boyfriend ?

she can do better !

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2024 20:36

Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:34

My other friend raves about how 'sound' he is. I think it's because he likes a laugh and a joke and smiles a lot.

Ah well a good sense of humour is a panty-dropper.

I still wouldn't though.

Original poster
Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:36

I think it's because I speak other languages. He said he was impressed I could do that, I said he could if he wanted to, but he said 'nah it takes too much time'.

OP posts:
ByCupidStunt · 30/05/2024 20:36

MoroccoMole · 30/05/2024 20:31

I suppose it depends what you're bringing to the table?

This.

5128gap · 30/05/2024 20:37

I value honesty and go out of your way kindness so I'd not be interested in him. Also I HATE driving so am best with someone like my DP who loves it and hates being driven.
His practical circumstances wouldn't bother me. My life is sorted, I go my own way under my own steam, so how he ran his life wouldn't matter. I wouldn't care about hobbies as tbh, unless i shared the hobby id be more bored by him having one than not. He'd need to be good company and make me laugh though.
I'd also not be keen on someone I only thought was alright looking. I'd want to think he was good looking.
So yes, I'd definitely want better than him!

Original poster
Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:37

He has said a couple of slightly funny things, wouldn't say he's comedian of the year by any means though but he has a generally cheerful disposition.

OP posts:
Lamelie · 30/05/2024 20:39

Who is he to you?

Philandbill · 30/05/2024 20:40

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2024 20:28

Unsurprising.

Who is this God amongst men?

Show quote history

😁😂
But seriously I don't think "is he a good catch" is a useful way of viewing a possible long term relationship. Perhaps it's better to think about whether you'd make a good partnership with someone, hopefully an equal partnership where you bring out the best in each other? But no, he's an awful "catch", throw this one back and raise your standards.

Philandbill · 30/05/2024 20:41

@MrsTerryPratchett please stop with the comments. I'm sniggering on a train and people are starting to look at me "funny".

SweetLittlePixie · 30/05/2024 20:43

AlanBrendaCelia · 30/05/2024 20:26

Not for me, thanks. He’s got no “oomph” about him.

I couldnt decide that without ever meeting or speaking with someone.

Theres really not much to go on here. On paper hes probably not that special. But for me its more important how someone makes me feel, how is he with me, does he make me laugh etc. Stuff like that.

PurpleTinsel555 · 30/05/2024 20:44

Look, you don’t like him. Strangers on the internet think he sounds awful. One friend thinks he’s ’a bit of a laugh’. Just trust yourself. He’s awful.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 30/05/2024 20:45

He sounds like an unmotivated, lazy waster. I wouldnt waste my time. Any woman would end up being his mother. Then in 7 years she would be exhausted, full of resentment and having people on mumsnet ask her why she had a child with him.

Original poster
Twix33 · 30/05/2024 20:47

He's polite, he'd rather give 10 million excuses than say the truth because he thinks it's kinder. Honestly I'd prefer people to be upfront.
He'll ask questions and stuff but wouldn't really go out of his way as I say.
He's someone I've considered, but everyone says I need to raise my standards.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2024 20:47

Philandbill · 30/05/2024 20:41

@MrsTerryPratchett please stop with the comments. I'm sniggering on a train and people are starting to look at me "funny".

Stick your tongue out at them. Works every time.

Jeannie88 · 30/05/2024 20:48

All depends on his personality and if u have a deep connection. Not all good men/woman want to devote life to work. Xx

Justcallmebebes · 30/05/2024 20:50

Those who say you need to raise your standards are right, listen to them

TeeBagGer · 30/05/2024 20:50

My days of saying an awkward goodbye to someone’s parents the next morning are long gone. It’s a no from me.

Ratisshortforratthew · 30/05/2024 20:50

Not driving doesn’t bother me but everything else…no. What are his good points?

Gettingannoyednow · 30/05/2024 20:50

He sounds lazy and quite selfish, which will be a fucking nightmare to be stuck with should you get ill/have kids/renovate a house/go travelling together/ depend on him in any way.

MonsteraMama · 30/05/2024 20:53

God no, sounds awful. Bet he plays FIFA and shouts at the TV like a baby when a 14 year old from Croatia beats him.