To wonder if you would consider him a good catch?

[Twix33]

No driving licence
Has been living at home for years, has a decent deposit but apparently there's 'nothing on the market ' yet
Earns just over min wage- said he's happy where he is ATM, applied for 1 promotion then gave up
Refuses to do overtime to earn any more
No particular hobbies outside of the usual footy, going for food etc.
Said he couldn't be bothered to learn another language, even just a few words
No particular skills or talents
I'd say he's fairly nice but not lovely, he's one of those who's good at acting friendly and being polite but he's not the most honest of people and wouldn't go out of his way for you, but he's not nasty or aggressive at all
I'd say he is ok ish looking, wouldn't consider handsome at all

You're probably thinking what on earth is the point of this thread, but if you read this list would you think 'id go for someone like that', or 'I can do better'?

My OH had left home at 16 to join the Army. Left at 21 and never returned home to his parents.

Snap! He now runs a successful IT company. Ambition and being a go getter is massively attractive imo.

Sorry, didn't see the part about having kids. The unkindness changes my response completely. Yeah he sounds like the type to cruise, do minimum and expect others to take the flack. Xx

Something I don't like, not sure if I'm being sensitive but we have a mutual friend who's 22. This guy who's in his 30s refers to this friend as a 'kid' behind his back. Never told the other friend that, but just find it a bit mean?

@Twix33

how old are you ?

why are you dating him ? or are you only considering dating him

I don't really think of people being objectively good or bad catches.

There is quite possibly some woman out there who will love him for his kindness and sense of humour; share his interests in football, food and travel; admire the fact he's been cautious and saved up money; and, I dunno, go wild for the way the back of his neck smells and find him great in the sack. So his faults, tho no doubt real, just won't loom as large to her. And that's ok.

It's clear that woman isn't you, and you have absolutely no need to justify your choices. That also is ok.

He's not (from anything you say) the scum of the earth; you don't need a chorus of objections to him from strangers on the internet to confirm your choice.

Your are absolutely 100% entitled to reject any man who doesn't float your boat.

It doesn't mean he is intrinsically shit.

I've had men who sound like perfect catches on paper leave me cold, while the one lying beside me right now really wouldn't sound great by Mumsnet standards if I wrote down his particulars - he's not rich, he's got a past, he's a bit of a moody bugger at times. But I love the bones of him and love jumping the bones of him and I don't want anybody else!

If there were something about him that raised me to living on a fluffy pink cloud and if I thought about him every minute and wanted to be with him and feel his hands on me, yes I'd say he was a runner.

If none of the above exists, then no.

He sounds like a right wet lettuce. I couldn’t be with someone who has so little get up and go. I’d find it so frustrating.

What are your credentials?

Living with parents and no driving license… don’t need to hear anything more that is a huge red flag for him not being able to stand on his feet or be self sufficient. At 31 years old???? No thank you
not a catch by anyone’s definition I would have thought

What is the point of you asking? Are you dating him and want approval? You clearly don't seem to have a good opinion of him with the constant dripfeed of his negative traits. If he doesn't appeal to you, that's absolutely fine. But it is unfair to simply judge someone with just some basic information and any context about you or the situation.

What you describe is an argument that being single is not a bad thing.

Is this someone who's going out with your friend?

Why would you even consider this loser. No thank you.

You don’t like him. That’s what’s important.

Love this measured response. There's something about the post that's feels really mean. He's someone catch- just not the OPs... but I think it says a lot about someone that they come onto an online forum in the hope (??) that other posters will lay into this man who actually hasn't done anything wrong.

No.

This is such a weird thread. If you don’t like him, don’t go out with him.. no one is forcing you to!

Are you sure he’s alive?

You haven't said how much he actually won on the lottery yet.

I think lots of men are like this. Probably lots of women too. My mate's gf definitely is. It's v v hard to keep a conversation going, unless you want to talk about her children or her amazing bf . He's my mate. He's most def not amazing.

However, I do slightly worry that ds will end up like this, despite dh and I's best efforts and our genetics.

Crikey.

Out of all the things you've said about him, this would bother me the least.

Come on now; he's a dishonest, lazy, unambituous, uninteresting, "wouldn't go out his way for you" 31 year old who lives with his parents....

None of that bothers you, but you don't like that he refers to a younger person as "kid"?

Ok well, crack on, whatever. If you like him, go for it.

God speed.

Does he have a gold plated penis?!

To be fair, that's the way a lot of people feel about languages and kids, they just don't dare say it out loud because they'll sound wet.

Anyways, you don't like him so don't date him. There's the possibility he's amazing in bed as his only redeeming feature but probably not.

Absolutely fucking not. I will not even look once at a “man” who lies.

he sounds awful