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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How would you split holiday cost?

166 replies

Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:38

I've booked a holiday for myself, sister and my son to go to Greece. Her husband has said he'd pay 'some' money towards the holiday as her birthday present but I'm not sure what a fair split would be.

The holiday total was £1880. This included a free child's place so effectively my son is free.

However, I'm willing to pay more towards the holiday as if I had decided to book just myself and son, the cost would have been £1750 (no free child's place for one adult).

What do you think is a reasonable amount for my sisters husband to pay? I'm thinking £500.

Money is much tighter for them as my sister doesn't work (she's disabled) but her husband regularly goes on holiday without her.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/05/2024 10:40

Depends really. Were you going to pay for it all before her husband offered to pay towards it? What about spending money, I'm presuming she'd be bringing her own so maybe her husband contributes to that?

WaltzingWaters · 30/05/2024 10:41

£500 seems fair given the circumstances. Are all 3 of you sharing one room?

LordSnot · 30/05/2024 10:41

It sounds like you invited her rather than it being a joint idea? In which case I'd tell her husband to give her spending money and I'd expect her to treat the three of you to a meal to say thanks. I wouldn't expect a contribution to the holiday cost otherwise.

ExasperatedManager · 30/05/2024 10:43

Given that the difference in cost for you in taking her/not taking her is only £100, I think £500 is quite a lot to ask from them if money is tight. Did your Dsis ask to come or did you suggest it?

I would be inclined to ask her husband how much he had in mind and to take it from there. I don't think it's reasonable to expect them to subsidise the cost of your holiday.

Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:48

Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/05/2024 10:40

Depends really. Were you going to pay for it all before her husband offered to pay towards it? What about spending money, I'm presuming she'd be bringing her own so maybe her husband contributes to that?

I was going to go away on my own with my son so it's cost slightly more adding her.

It's all inclusive so won't need much spending money but she will bring her own.

OP posts:
Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:49

WaltzingWaters · 30/05/2024 10:41

£500 seems fair given the circumstances. Are all 3 of you sharing one room?

Thank you. I think that seems reasonable. Very cheap for an all inclusive holiday in the summer holidays. Yes we're all sharing a room.

They'll be twin beds and a sofa bed. She can have the sofa bed as it'll likely be a double and my son and I can have a single each. Or my little one can be on the sofa bed if she prefers a single bed.

OP posts:
Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:51

ExasperatedManager · 30/05/2024 10:43

Given that the difference in cost for you in taking her/not taking her is only £100, I think £500 is quite a lot to ask from them if money is tight. Did your Dsis ask to come or did you suggest it?

I would be inclined to ask her husband how much he had in mind and to take it from there. I don't think it's reasonable to expect them to subsidise the cost of your holiday.

It's a surprise. She's desperate for a holiday. Her husband has recently been abroad on a hobby holiday.

I do see what you're saying but effectively my son has a free child's place so that's why I thought £500 for a weeks all inclusive is still a good price.

OP posts:
prescribingmum · 30/05/2024 10:52

If money is tough for her and you can comfortably afford it (and would have gone with your son anyway), I personally wouldn't ask for any contribution from my sister.

AlisonDonut · 30/05/2024 10:52

I'd have asked his budget before booking it to be honest.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/05/2024 10:52

I think that she wants a holiday and it's 'for' her means he should pay more. If she was coming along to help you with your child then she should pay less as you've got a free or cheap nanny

ExasperatedManager · 30/05/2024 10:55

Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:51

It's a surprise. She's desperate for a holiday. Her husband has recently been abroad on a hobby holiday.

I do see what you're saying but effectively my son has a free child's place so that's why I thought £500 for a weeks all inclusive is still a good price.

I think you're being a bit disingenuous to say that your son has a free place, given that you would have paid almost the same if your dsis wasn't going.

Your son's place wouldn't be free if a second adult wasn't there, so arguably it's the second adult place that only costs £100. Fair enough to ask for that. Beyond that, I guess it's a question of how much your BIL wants to contribute.

Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 10:55

Thanks for the replies.

I don't understand how money is 'tight' as he can afford to go away often. It's always tight when I ask about doing stuff with my sister but that's another matter.

OP posts:
Nellodee · 30/05/2024 10:58

I would count your sister as a freebie and tell your brother in law to buy her something else special. Let her feel completely spoilt!

Nellodee · 30/05/2024 11:00

Ah, just read your last post. Get him to pay the 500 and then go on a couple of lovely trips whilst you’re away.

Dinoswearunderpants · 30/05/2024 11:01

Nellodee · 30/05/2024 11:00

Ah, just read your last post. Get him to pay the 500 and then go on a couple of lovely trips whilst you’re away.

Yes some trips would be nice.

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 30/05/2024 11:03

I also think that £500 is a fair contribution and I wouldn't get hung up on the 'free' child place, because it's all smoke and mirrors marketing and you could find the holiday priced differently elsewhere.

Plus it sounds like her DH needs to remember his marriage vows about sharing all he has with his DW and 'in sickness and in health' and all that if he gets to go on holiday and do other things but there's no money available for her to do similar.

bridgetreilly · 30/05/2024 11:16

I think that sounds fair. It’s still a really cheap all-inclusive holiday for her.

caringcarer · 30/05/2024 11:25

I'd tell him £400. Then you can treat your sister to a few meals, given it's only costing you £100 extra to include her. It sounds like he might keep your sister short of money if he can afford trips but she's always short of money.

goingdownfighting · 30/05/2024 11:27

I'd say £500 from her husband then treat her to a massage and a meal out.

WitchyBits · 30/05/2024 12:15

Divide the cost of the holiday into 3 and then you pay 2/3? A free child place isn't free, it's a gimmick and the price is already worked in.

Amx · 30/05/2024 14:03

I would say £300.

mitogoshi · 30/05/2024 14:06

Splitting 3 ways is fair so £500 is fine

MightyGoldBear · 30/05/2024 14:31

Maybe ask the husband what he had in mind ? If you can comfortably afford it maybe she has the money as spending money?

I get that 500 is cheap for a AI holiday. But it's still a lot if money is tight. I wouldn't be able to afford to go.

With the comments about him holidaying alone regularly is that you saying you feel he could absolutely afford 500 or that there is a inbalance between them? Or just purely context.

HcbSS · 30/05/2024 14:34

500 sounds great and you sound like a lively sister.
Your BIL sounds like a bit of an arse though. Her disabilities clearly don’t stop her going away as she is going with you! So why can’t he take her every now and again?!

peebles32 · 30/05/2024 14:37

I think I would say 300 towards it!

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