How would you split holiday cost?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

I've booked a holiday for myself, sister and my son to go to Greece. Her husband has said he'd pay 'some' money towards the holiday as her birthday present but I'm not sure what a fair split would be.

The holiday total was £1880. This included a free child's place so effectively my son is free.

However, I'm willing to pay more towards the holiday as if I had decided to book just myself and son, the cost would have been £1750 (no free child's place for one adult).

What do you think is a reasonable amount for my sisters husband to pay? I'm thinking £500.

Money is much tighter for them as my sister doesn't work (she's disabled) but her husband regularly goes on holiday without her.

' but her husband regularly goes on holiday without her.'

so...money isn't that tight for them.

based on that I would tell him 1/3 of £1880, and you can use the additional money on treating her and you whilst on holiday

Yeah say £500. Still less for her than a straight 3 way split.

Money isn't tight if he can regularly afford to go on holiday without her. Also, how fucking mean to regularly go on 'hobby' holidays but leave your wife desperate to go away!

I would say half or a third.

That's a great price for a week away.

(Assuming she's not on a sofa bed or something)

I’d honestly say it’s the difference between the cost of you going alone and taking her with you.

£500 is asking him to subsidize your holiday

I think it depends how you planned the holiday. Did you decide the location, timeframe, duration? Or was your sister involved in the planning?

If you decided it all, and your sister can join in with your plans for £100, then I'd just charge her the £100.
If you planned it together, then something like £500 is fairer.

However, since her husband is tight, and he is paying for it, then charge him at least £500, and treat your sister to day-trips, or a long weekend away another time, etc with the money!

For what it's worth, I am going on holidays with my 2 kids. In the place I booked, you need to pay for minimum 2 adults. After I had booked, I asked my sister if she wanted to come along - I didn't charge her anything, but she'll pay for wine or something. It's a fancy place (Sani), so it would have been a shame to not make use of a paid-for adult place.

The word is sharing. Just like you might share petrol on a big trip.

It would be like accepting a lift then say "I'm not sharing petrol, you were going anyway".

Subsidising would be just paying towards the OPs holiday, but not going on it.

If I offered someone a lift I’d never dream of asking for petrol money.

It’s incredibly rude and a bit tacky.

The BIL is doing just that, paying towards the OPs holiday and not actually going on it

Sharing petrol is rude and tacky?

Ok. Have a good day.

Yes. If you were already driving somewhere and offered to take someone else it’s incredibly weird to them ask for money towards a trip you were going to be paying 100% towards in the first place.

good lord

Yes I think he could afford £500 as he spends money frequently on himself.

I'm happy to just pay for it all but I certainly don't think it's fair if he tries to do it as her birthday present when I will be paying for it.

That's an excellent point you know. So I'd never dream of asking them to pay towards petrol to the airport or parking but I do think it's reasonable to pay towards the holiday.

Me personally I would split the cost 3 ways you pay 2/3 and your brother in law pays 1/3 £600 that way if he doesn't give your sister any spending money, you will be able to treat her to a few nice things days out etc.

If he always complains that he has no money for your sister and then spends lots on himself its only a portion of what your sister is due.

Enjoy your holiday with your sister and son

After your update about him spending lots of money on himself .. say yes to £500.
Your sister can then treat herself on holiday.

Was it his idea for her to go with you, OP? If so, I think it's fair to ask him to contribute more.

If it was your suggestion, maybe not.

This man regularly goes on holidays without his disabled wife. He is the only bread winner. Of course he should pay. I think he should pay at least one third.

Definitely ask him for 1/3, if he can afford his trips away he can afford that, and you can afford to give her the nice time it sounds like she deserves!

£500 is asking him to subsidize your holiday.

No, it's not. It's asking him to pay for his disabled wife's holiday, when he regularly leaves her at home when he goes off on holiday. Why should she not have a holiday paid for from the family income?

Of course she should, but for me, a lot depends on how this whole arrangement came to be suggested.

If the OP suggested it and is basically expecting her BIL to stump up the costs for a holiday that she would have otherwise paid for herself, I'm not sure that's reasonable.

What would be better, in my opinion, is for the BIL to cover the difference in cost of the holiday for the OP (£100), and then put another £400, say, towards an activity during the holiday that his wife would really enjoy. Or towards another weekend away for his wife with a guest of her choosing - could be her husband, could be the OP, could be a friend etc.

she should pay 1/3 out of her household budget , is she being financially abused or seems like it.

But she is going it's a holiday for 2 adults and a child. The 2nd adult would have to pay half if her son wasn't going.

Yes, but the OP would have to pay almost as much if her sister wasn't going. She was originally going with just her ds.

@Dinoswearunderpants Well the extra cost to you is only £130 and you would have spent the rest of it anyway if your sister wasn't in the picture. So that bit is fine

How much extra over and above that, does depend, IMO how much spending money he is going to give her for things like trips and any extras not included in the AI holiday. If you get £500/600 in total from him, and he doesn't give her any spending money contribution, then I would give your sister the balance, after taking off the £130 ( you did say he was tight, so that way you can be sure the money is there for her before you go?)

Or did he mean he would give her spending money rather than contributing to the cost of the holiday? In which case, you still should be chasing up the £130 which was the extra cost to you?

Edited to add the OP's name

I think 1/3 or maybe £500 would be fine to ask for. But I'd be keeping all of that money to one side except for the £100 or so uplift in cost to you, and passing it back on to your sister in some way or another. Probably not in cash, but either by paying for trips, or holding it back to treat her for days out or things she needs but isn't given the money for in the UK.

Who suggested it, etc etc is beside the point. This man needs to pay for his wife to have a holiday. The OP has provided that opportunity. He needs to pay at least 1/3. If finances are tight, perhaps he can forgo one of his holidays in the future.

I think a lot on here would also do well to remember those vows, given how many threads seem to lead to advice about hiding money from husbands etc