How would you split holiday cost?

[Dinoswearunderpants]

I've booked a holiday for myself, sister and my son to go to Greece. Her husband has said he'd pay 'some' money towards the holiday as her birthday present but I'm not sure what a fair split would be.

The holiday total was £1880. This included a free child's place so effectively my son is free.

However, I'm willing to pay more towards the holiday as if I had decided to book just myself and son, the cost would have been £1750 (no free child's place for one adult).

What do you think is a reasonable amount for my sisters husband to pay? I'm thinking £500.

Money is much tighter for them as my sister doesn't work (she's disabled) but her husband regularly goes on holiday without her.

Tell him what the total cost is... be grateful for any contribution... spend some of it on your sister.

Don't let him off the hook.... he never takes his wife on holiday.

I agree.

The difference

If it’s only cost you £130 to add her, why do you want £500? Bit of a piss take that isn’t it?

I've noticed you've mentioned OP that it's cheap for the summer holidays - but as DS isn't bringing a child with her then surely they are only going in the school holidays to cater for your child.

If money is tight than £500 could be a lot. I get that you've said DH seems to go away more but you don't necessarily know the financial arrangements of that. And a holiday with you and your little boy (free place means young right?) Isn't exactly going to be relaxing spa break for her, she's naturally going to be helping with your son.

When people come with me places to help with DD I always pay for their place. I just took my parents away to Centre parcs with us and wouldn't dream of asking them for money when they are helping a bit with DD and also have her other times.

I would just tell him what the holiday cost and see what he offers. He might offer to split it 3 ways in which case you'll get your £500. But if DS is coming and is able to help with the child/keeping you company I wouldn't necessarily set my eyes on the £500. Especially if it might have been proposed as 'I'm going away and it's only £100 to add my sister on'

He might also be expecting it to be a joint present.

Actually, I say £600 and then save some to do nice things with your sister afterwards.

Have fun. Her DH sounds like a doll (not)!

Also to add, its none of OPs business what the financial arrangements are. Presumably DS is still happily with DH and isn't crying financial abuse, its not up to OP to seek to claim that money back from him.

I wouldnt be pleased if my DSis took it upon themselves to charge my DH more because they decided he deserved to pay it. She is aware of their current arrangements, if she's got a problem with the way her family finances are handled then she needs to take it up herself.

Reflecting on this I think you're out of line to 'charge' anymore than the extra £130/£150. I'd tell them that cost and then tell them they'll need a good amount of spending money for the trip.

I would ask for £600 and then use some of it for an excursion or day out for all three of you.

£500 seems fair. OP is effectively taking her sister along on a holiday because her sisters husband would rather have a holiday on his own instead with her. Nobody is considering the fact that OP will have to factor her sister in to everything that she will do on her holiday.

The extra person on the holiday changes the dynamics and they are sharing the room too so it DOES impact OP and her DCs holiday and they should have a “benefit” from that in the form of a reduced holiday price by charging the third person an appropriate share not just saying “oh well it only added £130” as that isn’t taking account of the change in holiday circumstances! (id rather pay the extra £130 that share my accommodation with a third person and have to consider their needs wants and wishes during my break for instance).

Reading between lines you aren’t happy with how your BIL is treating your DSis (eg why if she’s desperate for holiday hasn't he taken her, why is money tight when Op tries to do things with DSis but there is plenty for BIL’s hobbies). I’d start with saying 1/3rd of the holiday is What he is due for his wife’s place. He sounds financially abusive.

Your sister is unable to work and says that money is tight and yet her husband can afford hobbies and multiple holidays without her? Huge red flags. I would be thinking this could be financial abuse and how cruel of him to holiday without her, knowing she is desperate to go away.

However you decide to split the costs I would be using this trip to make sure your sister knows that she has your support and that her husbands behaviour is not ok, not by a long shot.

So we are saying that OP should be compensated for spending time with her sister because she’ll be an inconvenience?

@Obeseandashamed @SunGoesIntoHiding

Ask him for one third. £630
Keep the difference in cost. £130
Give the rest in cash to your sister. £500
It looks like she might need some money of her own.

Include all costs like parking and split between three. You pay 2/3.

That’s fair. Then you can treat her whilst away if you want to.

Oh I like this!

"Money is tight" means "I cant do everything I want to do if I have to allow for the same budget for my wife to have a holiday of her own".

Selfish git, I would ask for half of the cost and use it to book another shorter trip for the two of you later in the year.

£500 is fine! It’s still less than a third of the total price so I don’t see why she should pay less.

It really is. I would either ask for the very slight difference between the 2 or as that's only £130, not ask at all.

Basically for £130 more you've got a holiday for 3 people. Seems a bargain. Asking for £500 is really off.

That would be acceptable but pocketing £500 for reimbursement of £130 is just greedy.

I'd be speaking to my sister not plucking a cost from thin air after it's booked!
And for the record if I was going to pay almost that anyway I'd be happy to pay for my sister.
If you both agree to take money from him then do it and treat her with it if he keeps her short. I'm sure she will help you with your son too.
If she's disabled contact the hotel and hopefully they can accommodate you in a good room that's suitable. Enjoy your sister. I'd love a holiday with mine.

Fact is, you're sharing a room with them if they come. Percentage wise, if you were paying £1800 (ish) for the whole holiday, and they were only paying £100 towards it, they should be entitled to 5.5% of the space. It wouldn't be feasible as there's two of them (him and your sister) and two of you (you and your son). They'll obviously take up half of the space in the room, so they should pay 50% of the room cost. I wouldn't factor in flight cost because your seat allocation and space on the plane is restricted regardless, and I couldn't be bothered being tight about the maths on that.
I would work out what they should pay based on what the hotel room costs and divide it by 2. Ask them that, as they're taking up half the space in your room. That would be fair.

I would ask for a lot more than five hundred then keep some of it back to treat you and your sister to a weekend away at a later date if he is tight when it comes to letting his disabled wife have a holiday while he swans off on his holidays so frequently!

Except the husband isn't coming.

if its him coughing up and its not going to cause budget problems for your sister, I'd nail him for the 500 and then either cover your actual extra cost and use the extra for you and your sis to have a truly fabulous time, or splurge the lot on you both on hols. If home circs are really bad you might like to slip her some of the cash to start an LTB fund.

If it was a villa you were planning on renting for you and your son, and there was an unused room available, then I would ask them to only cover the slight price increase. But they're sharing your room. They're reducing your space by half, so they should pay half.