12 year old home alone

[Ohwhoknows]

My DP, with whom I do not live, is planning to leave his 12 year old home alone for twelve hours four days a well as those are his shifts/travelling and she won’t agree to go to summer activities. I think this is unreasonable. He doesn’t. What do you think? AIBU?

Oops.. four days a week, in the summer holidays

That is deeply neglectful. Also illegal.

My opinion is its too long.

Too many hours and for too many days imho.

Def not illegal.

So on four different days she’s on her own 12 hours? Why won’t she do activities? What does he normally do for childcare?

It’s not illegal, but I think it’s too long. It’s a worry. It’s not strictly my issue, but I feel
so uneasy

Neglectful yes.Illegal no...its such a grey area unfortunately at that sort of age.

I find it deeply sad aswell that a 12yo's parent expects them to spend so much of their summer all alone....why do people have kids then never want to see them 😔

Perhaps she doesn't want to do the club because she actually wants to spend some time with her family instead! Poor girl....

I always wonder why people make up legislation

Would she have to go to activities for 12 hours a day, 4 days a week?

It's too long even as a one-off emergency, definitely too long for something planned.

He needs to be having a conversation with his daughter that she can't be left alone that long and if she won't agree to his plans, what are hers? She doesn't really have a choice.

its only him. And he has to work. So i think childcare is a must, they don’t

it's not illegal

Well I don’t think it’s illegal but it sounds quite shit.
i was left home alone at that age during the day while my mum worked for probably 10 hours a day. For most of the holidays.
My DS is 12 and when I’m in the office (rare) he’ll be home alone sometimes for an hour or so until someone gets back. Or a couple of hours here and there at the weekend if we need to go and run some errands and he doesn’t want to come with us.
But 12 hours is pretty much all day.
Would she be able to go out and meet friends or have friends round? It’s not ideal and not something I would choose to do but she’s getting a bit old for holiday clubs and parents don’t generally get 13 weeks of annual leave to cover all the holidays so it’s tricky.

I very much agree with this.

She’s probably feeling too old for kids school holiday activities…. She’d be better with a friend or at home

It is tricky. But no, no regular friends over, or at theirs

Not ideal but that's a difficult age for childcare. Hand wringing about 'why do people have kids' is very silly. Most people who have kids also have to work at least some of the time.

Is it the case there is no other solution or is that he is convinced she'll be fine?

At home all day alone?

There are options like activities, but she’s refusing

It's a tough one because activities would involve drop off and pick ups, she's too old for childcare, and 12 hour days would be impossible to find anyway, and it's a lot to put onto a random friend or family.

Not sure what the answer is, but I see the predicament he has.

I wouldn’t leave mine like that, but everyone is different, I guess. Mine are older now and I work hours that are ok

I can see why she would. Plenty of kids that age would rather kick back at home than do a long day of activities. Can she be persuaded to do a couple of days activities and a couple of days at home?

Some of the activities are walking distance: five minutes

This would have been my idea of bliss when I was twelve, just a good stretch of uninterrupted time to do what I wanted without having to consult everyone else. reading for hours, painting , I suppose these days trash Tv as well.

She’ll probably get bit bored towards the end and get together with some friends or do ‘activities’ when she feels like it.