Is this CF or AIBU?

[CFornot123]

It’s a money one!

Recently came into some money (not insignificant to me but not significant either). I haven’t made it widely known and only told a couple of very close relatives (let’s call one of them relative A) but asked them not to tell anyone. Yesterday at Sunday lunch, relative B was telling me about a new hobby (an expensive one) they’ve decided to start but they’re struggling to afford to buy the required equipment.
This morning I got a message from relative B asking if I’d mind buying them the equipment they need for their hobby as a gift (approx 2k in all). Turns out relative A told them all about the windfall, how much and told relative B I’d buy them what they needed.
AIBU to think both A and B are out of order? I asked A not to tell anyone and had no reason to assume they would. Why should I fund B’s new expensive hobby? If they can’t afford it then choose something different? Or should I give them the money they need?

edited to add that relative B wasn’t one of the people I personally told so should not have known

Absolutely no way.

Woah! That is brazen!
lesson learned

assuming you don’t want to cut all contact with these CFs I would tell them you’ve ploughed it all into your mortgage (or similar)

can't wait for the update. Give B nothing and cut A out as well.

I strongly advise against this. they are CFs you give a small amount, believe me they will be back for more

of course both out of order

are both relative A and B your parents?
or relative A is your parent and relative B your sibling? :)

Both CF.
Love how CF A is spending your money for you.
Give them nowt the CF

Absolutely not! They’re both CF. Who volunteers other people’s money??? Who asks??? Fuck that noise!

No don't give the money. If you did then word would get around that you gave B money and then others in family will come asking for payment for this that and the other.

I would say that actually you had a lot of debt so the money has just paid it off and it's all gone now.

Wow that's some grade A cheeky fuckery! Absolutely not.

@CFornot123

Tell whoever it is that you've put the majority into reducing your mortgage - assuming you have one. If not tell them, sorry that's the deposit and expenses towards you purchasing a home for yourself. Also tell them you've had some debt you've now cleared so this money has pretty much gone.

Just remember if you give to one person you'll have others with their hands out, wondering why one person is favoured and the others not. 🌹

This reminds me of the time as a child when I won £25 on premium bonds and my mum made me give my sister half.

It still annoys me and that was in 1968 😂

@Fairyliz same happened to me when I got my first job at 13, we went on holiday not long after I got my first pay check and my mum made me give my sister half, never made that one make sense

anywqy OP give them nothing, doesn’t matter if it was another relative and they should have been left money too the money was left to you and they are being serious CF for asking, say you give the £2,000 for this hobby and they end up hating it

CFs!

A is more out of order for telling B that you'd pay.

Tell them they're too late, you've already invested it - in your life, of course, but I'm sure you could make something up!
What a nerve asking you to fund their hobby, whether expensive or not, just because you now have some extra money. They should not have started this hobby unless they could afford it!
Y A N B U

I think it depends on who the relatives are. If your husband told your child and your child asked for the money, it's a tad cheeky but also understandable. If it's a distant cousin, then nope.

Tell B you have given all the money to a support the boats charity

What a paor of CF's...

One word, No!

I’m laughing out loud at the cheek of them. Don’t even reply.

Well you know not to trust A with any important information any more!
Both were out of order but A especially, as they not only told B but also told B that you would pay for it!
I think my response would depend on my relationship and connection to each of them.

So presumably there has been a further conversation about this because you said, 'It turns out A told B...'? I hope you put them straight then that it was a totally inappropriate thing to do.

Agree with PP that of course you know you don't have to go along with this.

Have you actually replied to B?

👍

Sorry I’ve had some unexpected expenses so it’s a definite no on this.

the end

Once you 'tell one person' your secret is no longer.
Lesson learned here is to keep your finances private.

⬆️ Yep!

And definitely don't justify or make an excuse/lie about why you can't give them the cash.....just a hard NO!