Is this CF or AIBU?

[CFornot123]

It’s a money one!

Recently came into some money (not insignificant to me but not significant either). I haven’t made it widely known and only told a couple of very close relatives (let’s call one of them relative A) but asked them not to tell anyone. Yesterday at Sunday lunch, relative B was telling me about a new hobby (an expensive one) they’ve decided to start but they’re struggling to afford to buy the required equipment.
This morning I got a message from relative B asking if I’d mind buying them the equipment they need for their hobby as a gift (approx 2k in all). Turns out relative A told them all about the windfall, how much and told relative B I’d buy them what they needed.
AIBU to think both A and B are out of order? I asked A not to tell anyone and had no reason to assume they would. Why should I fund B’s new expensive hobby? If they can’t afford it then choose something different? Or should I give them the money they need?

edited to add that relative B wasn’t one of the people I personally told so should not have known

Don’t be agist! I’m sure there’s plenty of 75 year old burlesque dancers out there!

I would think A a parent and B the golden child sibling...

or A golden child sibling and B the nephew / niece

I would not be funding a hobby. Partly as a hobby is a luxury and not needed, partly they asked (you didn’t offer) and partly as you wouldn’t see the money back and it’s a lot!!! Where will it end? Will another relative expect money for their hobby / cost of living rising. I think Relative B is very cheeky and I wouldn’t be sharing anything personal with relative A again.

Hi relative B, lovely to see you. Relative A might have got her wires crossed. Unfortunately, I don’t have lots of money spare. I’ve invested some money recently but this is money I can’t access for a few years, while I save for a medical procedure / home improvements / dentistry / trip of a lifetime that I’ve always dreamed off (insert reason here that fits you - doesn’t have to be truthful!)

If OP simply refuses the hobby, there will be further CF invasions.

Where is OP's line in the sand? Education, Medical? Bailiffs? Car repairs?
Being evicted? Can't have the heating on? Insert your own sob story.
Really, best if 'the money has gone', or 'cannot be accessed'.
OP, save yourself from yourself.

CFs are CFs by nature, they will not miss an opportunity, and all the time they think the money is there, they will want it. In their minds it is already due to them.

I would be surprised if B is the only person A has told.

I agree💯. Betting that A has done everything but put out a TV news blurb.

I also agree that if OP just says "no" to the hobby, that more needs/wants/begs will emerge until the OP falls for some scheme.

Saying "I have invested it, paid off debts/mortgage or put it into my pension" releases OP from any other beggary that might ensue.

Once you’ve said “no” to the cheekiness, you’ll feel stronger about saying no in future.

I think you know the answer and can't believe your even asking. Both to be told where to go.

If you say yes. Be prepared for it to be the first of many requests from every person known to you

Definitely say no. I would agree with those suggesting saying something that precludes
further requests - “the money is all earmarked to go towards my mortgage/ investments/pension” or whatever, or better that it has already gone to those things.

I also would like to hear from @CFornot123 again to see what the relationship is!

Your Mum shouldn't have told your Brother (I'm assuming). but YANBU to tell them both to sod off.

I wouldn’t even answer relative B’s message and never ever mention money to relative A again.

YANBU

But you know now you can't trust A!

Well if you didn't want folk to know you shouldn't have told anybody. But even so they are incredibly out of order expecting you to pay for stuff for them.

Both are cheeky fuckers. Relative a for opening their mouth and relative b for thinking that you will happily buy them a 2k gift

I know it's probably more discreet not to say anything, but why shouldn't you be able to mention to somebody that you've come into a bit of money without them taking that as code for 'you must have some of it'?

After all, if you tell people you've just got married, nobody takes that as you telling them that they can have a go on your husband!

"err yes I would mind actually, so no". Did either of them give a reason why you should be expected to pay for it OP?

I'd also be having words with A about confidentiality and never confide in them again.

Easy one - both CF's!! Id' be telling B that no, I will not be funding their hobby, if they can't afford it then they can't take it up, and telling A that they have now caused an argument with B because they can't keep their mouth shut. Nice work dickhead 🙄

Excellent responses to two Cheeky Fuckers.

"relative A told them all about the windfall, how much and told relative B I’d buy them what they needed."
I might also tell relative B (Golden Child sibling?) that surely relative A (narcissistic parent?) must have meant that they themselves would be funding B's new hobby, surely? I'd be sowing dissent between them (just for fun, you understand).

"Why should I fund B’s new expensive hobby? If they can’t afford it then choose something different? Or should I give them the money they need?"
For starters, there is no "need" here, none whatsoever - there is only a 'want'. You should definitely not be funding this Cheeky Fucker's wants. Also, be aware that if you were to give them so much as a brass farthing, it would be the first of many requests they'd make, until they bled you dry. Relative A has, after all, informed them of the total amount of your windfall. They'd clearly feel entitled to it all. So be smart and send them off with a flea in their ear.

UPDATE PLEASE !!!!

Absolutely not ok to expect others to pay hobbies for you ! The fact they assumed they could ask makes me wonder how good they are as people !

I think we need to know who the close relatives are. I'd think differently about it if close relative B was your own child. Teen dd would definitely chance her luck at me buying her something expensive if I had a windfall 🤣 and tbh I'd want to share my good fortune with her. If you're talking about an aunty, cousin etc then yes they're a CF and I'd just message with a "haha, good try" or something similar

Oh my 😱

I Mumsnet as a hobby and I'm under 60.

I don't even earn anywhere near a six-figure salary!

What a pair of entitles arseholes they are!

DON'T give B any money at all. B chose to take up such an expensive hobby and they want you to cough up 2 grand?

Tell them both to get stuffed and block them both from your life permanently.

Absolutely this. Make sure they both know how outrageously CF they have been, and tell them that you think differently of them as a result.