Is this CF or AIBU?

[CFornot123]

It’s a money one!

Recently came into some money (not insignificant to me but not significant either). I haven’t made it widely known and only told a couple of very close relatives (let’s call one of them relative A) but asked them not to tell anyone. Yesterday at Sunday lunch, relative B was telling me about a new hobby (an expensive one) they’ve decided to start but they’re struggling to afford to buy the required equipment.
This morning I got a message from relative B asking if I’d mind buying them the equipment they need for their hobby as a gift (approx 2k in all). Turns out relative A told them all about the windfall, how much and told relative B I’d buy them what they needed.
AIBU to think both A and B are out of order? I asked A not to tell anyone and had no reason to assume they would. Why should I fund B’s new expensive hobby? If they can’t afford it then choose something different? Or should I give them the money they need?

edited to add that relative B wasn’t one of the people I personally told so should not have known

Just say no.

Personally I would laugh and say you are all so gullible, I haven’t done across any money and I was only joking! Then distance yourself! What a pair of CFs!

They will come back for more! Don't give them anything.

@CFornot123 please don’t give B anything. They’ll then tell someone else who will want the same, and then A will say ‘can I also have some’….

Just say ‘NO’…..
asking anyone for a ‘gift’ costing £2k is just cheeky! I wouldn’t even ask my own parents for that!!

I would call A in your situation and ask them why they told someone when you’d specifically asked them not to!! If you trusted them enough to tell them surely your relationship is good enough to tell them they’ve upset you?!
As for B…. Just respond and say that No, the money is yours and you won’t be funding anything for anyone because you don’t want everyone to feel that they’re also entitled! Or simply say… WOW a £2k ‘gift’…. Sorry but no I don’t spend that much on birthdays!!

Give B bugger all, then give A an earful for their inability to keep their mouth shut.

This is a scam by A and B. Your learning a good lesson. Hold on to your money. The amount is not significant -- but the attempt at scamming you is. NO.

Yes, I sometimes think this when you hear of people who win the lottery (not like £150m but a million or so) or a large sum on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire or similar.

Everybody they've ever known will see £-signs in their eyes and expect their 'share'. However, if you've won £1m and 200 people 'just' expect £5K from you - each of them egocentrically figuring that they are the only one and that it's only a tiny percentage - that's the entire lot gone.

But even then, if you did hand it over to everybody who asked for it, they would all still view you as 'that rich person who won a million' and keep coming back to the now-dry well for more!

YANBU

TTFO CF’s

B has only decided to take up this hobby after they found out about your windfall. Either that, or A knew they wanted to do it and told them that they can now because you can fund it.

What kind of hobby needs start-up equipment costing £2k anyway?!

Both CF.
You don’t actually owe B any explanation but if you wanted to give one just say ‘I’m not in a position to do that as I have made plans for the money and it was wrong of A to tell you this information and suggest I would pay’.
And defo pull A up for their total lack of discretion.

No, please don't contribute at all. That leaves the door open for future requests.

I occasionally used to get a work bonus (due to my effort, long hours, corporate culture etc) - my "A" used to hint that i should treat my "B". Piss off - the lazy bugger chose to opt out of normal work. Definitely their choice.

YANBU

You should be able to share your news either close ones and have them keep your secret if they agreed to.

And asking for 2k for a hobby shows B is a very CF. Would they do the sane for you if things were reversed?

Please make sure you put yourself and genuine needs first. Maybe treat others if you want to.

Depending how much there might be taxation issues and there are limits to how much you are allowed to gift too.

Na I would say no

I’m wondering if it’s photography.

I do photography and it’s an expensive hobby. My camera and main lens is £3k’s worth alone.

You can buy much cheaper gear to start up with, as I initially did, but if they think they can get better stuff using OP’s money then it’s easy to rack up £2k on a camera and lens alone.

They're absolutely CF - I'd tell relative A that you told them in confidence and relative B if they can't afford the hobby then don't take it up.

It's your money to spend on YOU.

Tell them both to get bent.

What kind of hobby needs start-up equipment costing £2k anyway?!

A hobby as a loan shark?!

so you are going to piss away 2k on someone else's hobby. Come on OP.

A fool and his money are soon parted.

Don't do it!

"I'm upset that A shared something I told her in confidence and I won't be giving you any money."

More fool you then.

You've realised how wrong A and B are but you are going to go along with it.

The problem isn't them, it's you.

And as my Dad always said "never tell ANYONE how much money you've got" .

What a shame you can't access the money now its in a five year bond!

Look at the idea of sharing money another way. Do you think they would share any windfall that comes their way with you?

Disloyal of 'A', C.F of 'B'. Ignore their pleas for money. Sorted!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@SirAlfredSpatchcock I also very much enjoyed your hobbies list, particularly:

“Burlesque dancing: Very few clothes and a Right Said Fred CD.”

Except the OP didn’t respect her own privacy. No one keeps secrets, they always tell someone.