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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 27/05/2024 01:48

I don’t expect anything of him. Then I’m never disappointed. Our drive is not that long anyway, and it’s a quiet neighbourhood so I’d get it myself

MistyGreenAndBlue · 27/05/2024 02:02

Mine would 100% but tbf that's because I'm disabled and can't walk far or stand for long.

If I were fit and able, I probably wouldn't even mention it to him, just go and get it myself. But, then again, if I DID happen to mention it, he'd probably go for me without me asking as he likes to be helpful. 😂

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 27/05/2024 02:36

Without question my boyfriend would go and get it because it's a dirty job rooting through bins and he'd prefer to do it.

Gentleman.

ChewbaccasMrs · 27/05/2024 02:37

He'd want to go and get it but knowing me I wouldn't wake him up and He'd only realise if he woke up to me getting back into bed then He'd check I was OK and if I told him what I'd done he'd call me a barmy loon and tell me of for not getting him up to get it.

Helloandgoodmorning2 · 27/05/2024 03:04

If I put something in the bin accidently I would get it out myself. I have a torch!

Lucyloo223 · 27/05/2024 03:20

What do you think women who live alone do???

RawBloomers · 27/05/2024 03:22

I think mine would get it if asked, but I doubt we’d be married that long if I expected him to do stuff like that unless I was sick or something.

TMess · 27/05/2024 03:22

He’d go get it. Without being asked. Can’t even see the end of our drive from our house it’s that long though.

Mothership4two · 27/05/2024 03:28

So men do the "dirty" jobs ie unpleasant? If I were a man I might have something to say about that.

Must remember that next time I'm cleaning the loo / changing a nappy / picking up dog poo.

I wonder how lesbian couples cope?

eyebagsfordays · 27/05/2024 03:38

My husband would offer as soon as I mentioned it, I'm terrified of the dark so he usually volunteers without me asking when I've left something in the car ect

holidaydramalama · 27/05/2024 03:43

Dh might get it but would be irritated at feeling pressured to. I'd probably just go myself.

I once heard a bang in the middle of the night, woke dh and he refused to go check saying it was nothing. He hadn't even heard it! It was actually a toy falling off ds bed but I felt dh should have checked.

SpringerFall · 27/05/2024 03:45

holidaydramalama · 27/05/2024 03:43

Dh might get it but would be irritated at feeling pressured to. I'd probably just go myself.

I once heard a bang in the middle of the night, woke dh and he refused to go check saying it was nothing. He hadn't even heard it! It was actually a toy falling off ds bed but I felt dh should have checked.

Why couldn't you? I don't get this 'I need a big strong man to look after me because I am only a little woman' mentality

Lavengro · 27/05/2024 03:46

I'm short and would struggle to get something out of my wheelie bin without mishap in the pitch black here, but I don't have a husband so I'd just have to cope. It's a bank holiday tomorrow though so I'd probably risk leaving it til morning unless it was something biodegradable or precious, so I could do it in a more controlled way in the light.

Are you trying to get a critical mass of responses you can use to shame him into doing it for you, OP? A bit wet of you if so!

JaffaCake70 · 27/05/2024 03:47

My Husband would go and get it. He's very sweet and helpful and I'm hugely appreciative of everything he does to make my life a little easier 🙂

DreamTheMoors · 27/05/2024 03:54

I cleaned house all day, cooked a roast for dinner and showered and put on a sexy teddy just for my husband.
My husband sat at the computer ALL DAY.
Then, at about 9pm, I remembered it was bin day the next day, so for the first and only time in about 8 years of marriage, I asked him to please take the bins out since I wasn’t dressed appropriately.
That bastard refused.
So I did, dressed in my sexy little teddy. And sure enough, the neighbor guy caught me.
When I told my husband, without looking up from the computer, “I don’t care.”
Now he’s my former husband.
And I don’t care.

Guavafish1 · 27/05/2024 03:56

He probably get it but the moaning after would put me off. So I'd never ask him to do it.

Save me hours of earache

Mothership4two · 27/05/2024 04:02

Did you put up a post about it @holidaydramalama? Sounds vaguely familiar.

TBH I wouldn't wake OH to check on a noise either

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/05/2024 04:10

Too much relevant information not provided here.

Mine would, but then he'd be the one to put something in the bin as I can't get to our bin to put things in or take them out.

@Sunflower8710 IS your drive 9 miles long? Do you live in an area where there are bears/man eating tigers/other massive risks? Do you have some reason to be unable to go out in the dark yourself?

These are the details that determine whether he is BU or not.

Dentistlakes · 27/05/2024 05:53

He probably wouldn’t volunteer to get it unless I asked him to or I was in my pyjamas.

C1N1C · 27/05/2024 06:08

Despite being quite split, there's a 'vibe' in here that many feel bins are innately a man's job. Fair comment?

We split bin activities... If I happen to be doing the dishes, my wife will do the bins, and vice versa. Although one time we had my wife's friend over and my wife was doing the bins and it was 'shock horror'... doesn't your husband do those?!

PostMenPatWithACat · 27/05/2024 06:08

My DH would have been asleep at 11.30. I'd have been glad as he would think I was a total numpty for throwing away something important. He'd think me an even bigger numpty for being too pathetic to retrieve something I'd thrown away and in the daaaaaaark!

This thread really hits home why the road to equality has been so hard and why women still aren't equal.

The worst thing that would happen here is that one of the neighbours would call the police because a potential criminal was rooting through bins to steal identities!

rosaleetree · 27/05/2024 06:10

Yes, he would do if I asked him to. But I wouldn't, I'd do it myself as I am a grown adult and not helpless and if it's my fault I put something in the bin then I'd get it.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/05/2024 06:13

I want to know what was accidentally put in the bin, and then is required at 11:30 at night.

My guess is a toothbrush! 😁

PuttingDownRoots · 27/05/2024 06:23

DH weekly commutes. I have to do a lot of things for myself and DDs, even if I don't like them. It can be dark by 4pm in winter here... I still pop to the shop, walk around the village, pick DD up from school, that sort of thing.

I do understand the fear though... mine is being trapped with a man after similar things. So I don't like being in a lift at night, preferring the stairs, or getting taxis.

OmuraWhale · 27/05/2024 06:25

I'd just do it myself. It wouldn't really occur to me to ask him.