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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
DildoHarding · 27/05/2024 00:24

Pmsl I wouldn't even ask him, I'd get off my arse and get it myself. Weird you won't go out in the dark.

HeddaGarbled · 27/05/2024 00:24

I would never ask him to do something so unreasonable.

UnNiddeRides · 27/05/2024 00:26

I have outside lights & lights in the house so I’d put on the ones closest to the drive (which is only about 20’ long) and go and get it. Or I’d use my phone torch.

Newcrocs · 27/05/2024 00:27

I wouldn't ask him I would do it myself

Notthatcatagain · 27/05/2024 00:28

Gladtobeout · 27/05/2024 00:15

Maybe their bin day is Monday?

Show quote history

It's a bank holiday this week

Cas112 · 27/05/2024 00:33

My husband would get it because he genuinely would do anything for me but I wouldn't expect it. I completely would just go out get it myself if I had left it wherever.

I genuinely also wouldn't be able to bring it to myself to use it being dark as an excuse 😂 your an adult, grow up

Mothership4two · 27/05/2024 00:33

@Startrekkeruniverse

I’m a bit bemused by posters saying they wouldn’t even ask their partner.

Because I am perfectly capable of doing it myself? Because it would be my mistake? Because I don't see why I should put OH out? It literally would not (and hasn't) occur to me. I don't live in a dangerous area, but if I did, neither of us would be going out for it in the dark. What would OP do if she was on her own?

I'm pretty bemused by grown women automatically expecting other adults to do something that they can competently do for themselves.

Cas112 · 27/05/2024 00:34

Mothership4two · 27/05/2024 00:33

@Startrekkeruniverse

I’m a bit bemused by posters saying they wouldn’t even ask their partner.

Because I am perfectly capable of doing it myself? Because it would be my mistake? Because I don't see why I should put OH out? It literally would not (and hasn't) occur to me. I don't live in a dangerous area, but if I did, neither of us would be going out for it in the dark. What would OP do if she was on her own?

I'm pretty bemused by grown women automatically expecting other adults to do something that they can competently do for themselves.

👏🏼

WallaceinAnderland · 27/05/2024 00:37

Whoever put it in the bin should be the one to retrieve it.

Minimili · 27/05/2024 00:38

If I asked DP he’d go… he wouldn’t find it though!

I’ve lost count of the amount of times he’s “looked EVERYWHERE” and it’s exactly where it always is or where I told him it would be.

If I want something finding I look myself.

wrped · 27/05/2024 00:41

you put it in the bin you get it, why are being lazy?

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 00:44

Mothership4two · 27/05/2024 00:33

@Startrekkeruniverse

I’m a bit bemused by posters saying they wouldn’t even ask their partner.

Because I am perfectly capable of doing it myself? Because it would be my mistake? Because I don't see why I should put OH out? It literally would not (and hasn't) occur to me. I don't live in a dangerous area, but if I did, neither of us would be going out for it in the dark. What would OP do if she was on her own?

I'm pretty bemused by grown women automatically expecting other adults to do something that they can competently do for themselves.

I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself….but having been followed by creepy men on three separate occasions I have a fear of being outside on my own after dark. If you don’t have that fear then I’m really pleased for you because it’s not nice.

My husband also wouldn’t feel put out by popping outside for me so I don’t see what the big deal is. Also as a 6ft burly bloke he’s never been followed by another man so I suspect he’s pretty safe going to the end of the driveway for me.

Cas112 · 27/05/2024 00:45

@Startrekkeruniverse get a grip

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 00:45

MrsMammy · 27/05/2024 00:03

My husband would get it. He would worry I'd be murdered or something

Really?

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 00:49

@Notthatcatagain our refuse collectors work bank holiday.

The bin store may also be at the end of the drive.

We also don't get stickers for leaving bins out.

ByCupidStunt · 27/05/2024 00:51

I think healthy adults should do as much for themselves as they can.

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 00:51

Cas112 · 27/05/2024 00:45

@Startrekkeruniverse get a grip

I’ve clearly explained above why I don’t like going out on my own after dark. If your response to that is to tell me to get a grip then I can only assume that you’ve never been followed or attacked by a man. In which case aren’t you lucky.

Also I’m not sure why these threads always turn into some sort of female pissing contest. You’re happy to go out after dark on your own, I’m not. You win I guess 😕

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 00:52

@Startrekkeruniverse your fears are not rational.

Maybe because of being followed, but neither the less, it's not reasonable to not go and retrieve something from your bin, that you've disposed of.

Cas112 · 27/05/2024 00:54

@Startrekkeruniverse I absolutely bloody have but I can't go retrieve something out the bloody bin and now expect my partner to do it because he's a man

meganorks · 27/05/2024 00:59

You put it in the bin. I'm not sure why it's his problem. I don't think I'd have the audacity to say to my husband 'hey, I threw something away but now I need you to go and get it'

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 01:01

@bananaramaterry @Cas112 that’s great for you both. Luckily my other half doesn’t mind so guess it’s not a problem in this house. He’s happy to help me out and vice versa.

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 01:03

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 01:01

@bananaramaterry @Cas112 that’s great for you both. Luckily my other half doesn’t mind so guess it’s not a problem in this house. He’s happy to help me out and vice versa.

Well that's great then, hopefully you'll not need something when he's out?

Being unable to go to the end of your drive is not rational.

SpringerFall · 27/05/2024 01:04

I would just get it myself being a grown adult and all

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/05/2024 01:08

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 01:03

Well that's great then, hopefully you'll not need something when he's out?

Being unable to go to the end of your drive is not rational.

Show quote history

But I didn’t say it was rational? I never once mentioned the word rational and neither did the original post.

“Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?“ was the question and I answered it - mine would go and get it. Simple as that really.

Cas112 · 27/05/2024 01:08

@Startrekkeruniverse I think you need help

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