Dirty.

[Alittlelostinlifeisi]

I usually wash things when I notice they’re dirty, and I am a bit shortsighted and I observant so it probably takes me longer than most to notice. I wash bedclothes on each bed once a month or 2. I wash my floors every month or 2. I wash my bathrooms every month or 2. I wash my hair once a week. I shower or bath at least once daily but I wash my children about once a week. I work full time in a job that entirely zaps my energy and really struggle with my energy level when I come home hence the washing self to feel better. I feel disgusting. My car is filthy. My wardrobes are a mess. I have too much stuff to keep it all in order. I have always a pile of usually clean laundry just not folded and I never iron. I do keep the dishwasher and washing machine going and the basic kitchen ok, but don’t look in the cupboards or oven or air fryer. Does anyone have any useful judgements or advice for me to not be so lazy😳 am I being unreasonable to think that most people do not live like this?

Hilarious, and you aren't wrong. Amazing how humans survived before the automatic ( hmmmm) washing machine.

It's overwhelming cos it is. Need to tackle one small area like a corner and then move tonally.

You don't need to shower every day. You could shower less but your kids definitely need to bathe more.

Why don't you alternate, you one night then the kids the next, then you again and so on?

"People hug them"

I pity your children if you're raising them to be germophobes that associate hugs with germs and the need to scrub themselves pure.

I just think once you’ve done a really good clean, that it’s so much easier to manage on a weekly basis. I spend less than two hours on a Sunday (I work Monday to fri full time) cleaning, wiping down etc, in a small three bed semi. I do my clothes washing and bed washing on a Monday - let’s be honest - washing doesn’t take a a lot of time. I never iron (lives too short!)Just take the clothes out of the dryer or the washing line and fold straight away, and put them away. I know it’s hard. I hate Sunday afternoons, but it’s got to be done. I don’t get the washing/bathing bit. Surely that’s the ‘nice’ part of the evening/morning..

your children are being neglected surely that's enough of a motive to sort it out?

I dont think it is reasonable to expect you will get on top of things while you are doing your regular routine. Can you take some time off, with your DH, and go through a room at a time? I moved a few years ago, to a real fixer upper that had not had anything done to it since the 80s. It was depressing, dingy and hard to stay on top of. As well as a regular routine for myself - Monday washing, Friday bed changes for example- I have been going through one room at a time and sorting and organizing. While doing that I have got rid of tons of stuff, which is much easier to keep on top of. Perhaps you could make a deal with your husband to do this? The other thing I found was a site about what cleaning you could get done in a commercial break on tv. With the idea that you can get a lot done in a little time. As for the car = car wash.

op I would make a start if you can buy taking a weeks annual leave when kids are in school/ childcare to declutter and make a plan based on advice here. Once you have that in motion it will make things easier.

.

The weekly bath on a Sunday evening was so ubiquitous that it was referenced in The Twits.

It was completely normal to only have a weekly bath during the 1980s.

Honestly - can you afford a cleaner? For us it’s the cost of one takeaway. If you can, get them to come once a week and do the basics and then use your time to focus on the kids and the washing.

If not, then yes, rotas and schedules are the only way. I would consider this the minimums:

Sheets - change alternate weeks
People - every other day but if you try to do it every day then if you have to skip the occasional one the kids won’t smell
Hoovering - once per week but aim for more in high use areas
Kitchen surfaces - do this every day, it’s easier
Bathroom surfaces and sink - a couple of times a week, or wipe every day if it’s easier

My house is barely clean enough and this is what I do.

@lastapache I have never considered I might have adhd but you have described me exactly!

I find that I'll get the cleaner and cloth out, and then realise that I need to clear the toys from the bathroom, and then tidy the toys in my kids room, and then another child will ask for a snack, and the cleaner and cloth will stay in the bathroom, forgotten about, for another two days.

It absolutely was not.
We showered every day , twice a week it was at school, swimming and PE
All those wanging on like it was a good thing in the 1950s are forgetting that people strip washed instead.
Baths or showers are more convenient.
These days its important to wash off environmental pollution and for some people allergens like pollen etc

It probably depends on where in the world you were in the 1980s on whether you had a bath once a week or more. Where we lived, central heating wasn't brought in until the 1990s. We had a coal fire and an immersion heater that cost a fortune to run. Sunday was bath night. We sat around the fire afterwards to watch London's Burning. Wednesday was hair wash night (head over the side of the bath and hair washed with a jug of water. Daily we had a strip wash (basin of water and a facecloth). No one had a shower in their house.

OP you sound like an overwhelmed parent. And I 100% know what that feels like. I have two DC’s, both under 7 and one is a young toddler. I only work part time and even then it is hard to get into a cleaning routine. Do you have the funds to have a cleaner? I have a lovely lady who comes twice a month and it takes the pressure off SO much. I know that every room will get a proper clean every week. I can then fill the gaps in between without the pressure of doing the whole house.

I also aim to give DC a bath every other day. In practice this means they both get in the bath together and have a lovely play and mess around, sometimes with bubbles. I do a proper hairwash for them both once a week (sometimes twice for DC1 if they’ve been swimming). I also make a point to prioritise a shower and hairwash for myself at least every other day. Purely because it makes me feel good to be clean.

But listen, all that aside, you sound like a loving mother trying to do her best and your children would take that any day over a clean freak who didn’t have their best interests at heart. Having children is HARD, so much harder than we’re led to believe sometimes, and sometimes you’ve got to cut yourself a bit of slack ❤️

Poor developing country with no showers or baths: just buckets heated on wood fires. Daily baths.

I wouldn't consider a bath once or twice a week to be very clean but if your children know how to have a sponge wash every day, they should be OK. Once they get to ten or so they will definitely be wanting a bath/shower and often a hair wash every day. It doesn't have to be at night, mine always bathed in the morning.

You wouldn't have been able to fit buckets of water on the coal fire in my house in the 80s/90s.

You sound very overwhelmed, but this issue does need to be sorted out for the good of the children. Some suggestions:

• hire a cleaner
• have a day/two days dedicated to you fully cleaning the house. From that point you’ll only need to ‘top up’ clean a little each day/every other day
• bath the kids more often, or strip wash them
• bedding needs to be washed every other week at minimum
• set reminders to clean on your phone, even if it’s just one thing a day
• try one of the apps recommended by other posters upthread

I hope you can start feeling better and getting on top of things soon

I have super low standards but the floors are manky after a week. Bathroom needs done weekly not to be disgusting

OP, some tips that helped me that are not earth shattering but do help you keep on top of things,

*keep a washing up sponge (the ones you fill with washing up liquid) in the bathroom for quick clean ups and do a quick clean everyday
*have a quick clean of the shower after you’ve showered and you are still in there, squeegee the shower screen.
*have a basket in each room to chuck kids toys in
*have a basket on the stairs for each kid to put put their things in that need putting away ( I actually only just learnt this)
*get a supermarket bag and leave it somewhere that you can put any unwanted items in ready for the charity shop.
*put your bedding into sets and store them folded into the pillowcase
*get enough microfibre cloths to have 1 a day
*if you are naturally untidy like me, those clear plastic storage boxes inside cupboards really help to be organised.

frequencies I go by:
bedding needs to be changed weekly or fortnightly max due to sweat and skin.
open your windows in bedrooms as you get up to freshen up then close then once you are headed downstairs.
bathrooms weekly- it’s a hygiene /safety thing. Use wipes if it’s all too much. Bleach down the loo. Doesn’t have to take ages.
kitchen cleaned down every day.
hoover weekly. Baby playmat more frequently like every other day.
mop /brush once a week.
damp dust fortnightly if you can’t do weekly. Just really quick.

your house will be much nicer. Assign a task per day, don’t do it all on a weekend coz that’s dull. You’ll feel better for it.

if u can afford get a cleaner ever other week to hover, mop and dust. Plus bathroom.

A little thing that might help OP, I go really dizzy and horrible when I wear glasses, have you tried contact lenses, they’re amazing, perfect vision and no dizzy muzzy head.

Well done on what you’ve achieved today, you sound like a lovely Mum, your children are cherished, the most important thing of all.

What a fantastic start, OP, well done for finding the motivation, time and energy 💛

If ur floors are really grubby op, give them a good going over with the mop, then once you have done that wash ur mop and bucket then refill ur mop bucket every fews days with bleach, floor cleaner(whichever you use) then you can give the floors a quick freshen up while your running baths or sorting dinner etc and will also make the room smell nicer and fresher. I also give my skirtings a quick going over with the mop too