Do you check your partner’s phone?

[IncognitoUsername]

Or, what would happen if you asked to?
Following on from a few threads today, just made me curious. DH and I are regularly on each other’s phones - doing a pizza order, Funky Pigeon etc or sharing a meme that someone has sent. DH’s phone automatically connects to the car so all his WhatsApp’s etc come through onto the screen. We both have a passcode but it’s the same one so could easily open each other’s phone if we wanted to.

Would a partner having a locked down phone make you automatically suspicious?

I never look at DHs phone. I don't really know why I would. He uses it for personal use and for work and i suspect most messages he gets are tedious work things. He doesn't look at mine either unless I'm showing him something but mostly I would WhatsApp links to him.

I'm not sure why I'd want to look at his phone or him mine.

If he asked to look at mine I'd findi t uncomfortable that he'd want to and would probably say No

Until recently I didn't have a passcode on it so DH and DC could and did use it.

My husband is one of those weirdos that doesn’t have an iPhone. I wouldn’t even know how to work it!!

tbh, if he wants to fuck up our relationship that’s his bad. I’d find out without needing to stalk him. Truth always comes out.

Hell no. Life’s too short.
if he wants to screw around it’ll be obvious and my life is such that I could walk away tomorrow- even after years together.

I use his phone from time to time, like you say ordering food or looking on Amazon if I’m being too lazy to get mine. We both have PIN codes and both know each others but I wouldn’t go and read his messages, that’s a massive invasion of privacy. A friend of mine kept snooping in her DH’s WhatsApp and iMessages and it’s caused a massive issue between them.

Nope. I have no interest in my DH's phone, nor him in mine.

I could check his phone, I know his passcode, but I never have. I’ve never really used his phone at all, why would I when I have my own?

Yes. Dh cheated on me. It's a long story, but I know now that his phone is not the innocent communication device that mine is.

No, never. In the same way that I wouldn't read his post unless he asked me to.

I would not tolerate that invasion of privacy and it works both ways.
If he's going to be an arse he will anyway.

In modern times your mobile phone is an extension of the self - it is a needless invasion if privacy, even if the other person is happy to share

I don't have a partner but I wouldn't want anyone looking at my phone. Not because I'd be doing anything shady but I don't think it's necessary. I was previously in a controlling relationship where he went through my phone every day so that may be clouding my feelings, I'd feel controlled again if a partner asked to see my phone.

Never looked, no reason to do so, and never had the inclination to ask. I don’t own him.

Your relationship sounds claustrophobic. In my experience the only couples who are so ‘transparent’ are the jealous ones.

My DH’s phone does that too OP. We don’t hide phones, will answer each others phone or use the browser history eg his phone is flat and he will use mine. DD 8 uses both our phones so I’m pretty sure she would out of either of us doing anything untoward.

I’d also open his post and use the Tesco club card vouchers 🤣

I've never looked at my husband's phone and he doesn't look at mine. We don't know each other's pass codes. I trust him. People are allowed privacy, even in a marriage. I wouldn't marry someone who thought otherwise.

Yes, this. I have no need or desire to check his phone.

Thinking about it, I probably do have stuff on my phone that I want to keep private: personal notes, affirmations, Google searches, plot ideas for books I’ll probably never write! It isn’t wrong to not want to share everything.

Thanks for the replies
I may not have explained properly- I don’t go reading his messages or anything but I might see a message when it pops up if I’m using his phone. They are normally v boring work related things lol
. I’ve just seen several posts today where a woman has checked her partner’s phone and discovered that they are cheating.
DH and I were laughing about our ‘open phones’ when it was the check your partners phone task on MAFS. They made out like it was a huge thing.

Why would I use my DH's phone to order pizza etc when I've a phone of my own? Plus some of my messages with friends are private and nothing to do with him. I am allowed privacy, And so is he.

No. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I don't know how to use his Samsung!

I would ask my OH to read a message if I was driving, for example. He might ask me to text someone on his phone if he was busy with the baby. If he suddenly became secretive with his phone I guess it would take me a while to realise he was being secretive as we don’t have regular cause to use each others phone, however, it’d be a big gamble for him as I know his passcode etc. he’d have to change it to be sure I wouldn’t read anything suspicious which in turn would arouse suspicion.

We can open up each other’s phones via facial recognition. But I can’t say I’ve done it more than once.

Never think to look at my husbands phone

Absolutely not. Why would I want to do that? We don't even follow each other on social media 😂

By weirdos so you mean the vast majority of the phone owners in the world? 😀

I wouldn't check a phone and certainly would not want anyone checking mine, I'm not a child

My OH might use my phone to order food if it was easier (card details saved on mine for example) but that doesn’t mean he’d be reading my messages. I use his phone from time to time but equally I don’t take the opportunity to snoop on his private conversations.