Do you check your partner’s phone?

[IncognitoUsername]

Or, what would happen if you asked to?
Following on from a few threads today, just made me curious. DH and I are regularly on each other’s phones - doing a pizza order, Funky Pigeon etc or sharing a meme that someone has sent. DH’s phone automatically connects to the car so all his WhatsApp’s etc come through onto the screen. We both have a passcode but it’s the same one so could easily open each other’s phone if we wanted to.

Would a partner having a locked down phone make you automatically suspicious?

We don't go on each other's phones. I don't see any need. He has gone on it to sort out technical issues, but that's it. We trust each other. However my phone is private and I wouldn't want him reading through my private chats with friends, seeing every random thing I've googled or pictures of my celebrity crush I have saved. Not because there's anything he'd go ballistic over , but because it's pointless and we're all entitled to privacy.

I have lots of stuff on my phone I wouldn't want my partner to read.

I never checked my 2 ex partners phones and they both cheated on me. In both cases I found out (ex no.1) when accidentally seeing a message on their phone and (ex no.2) when he left his emails open on my laptop. Both were very into the whole "my phone is private" thing, would never let me touch their phones etc. Needles to say, because of these experiences, if someone is being super defensive around their phone I would automatically think they have stuff to hide.

But you must have had suspicions if you wanted to see their phone. I think that's the only scenario that would be acceptable to go through someone's phone, if you already had reason to think they were cheating. If you would automatically assume the worst solely on them not wanting to share their phone with you, that's your issue and not theirs'. If someone is going to cheat, they'll cheat regardless. Maybe you'd find out a bit quicker by seeing their phone but if there's no trust then there's no point being with someone. At some point, you have to relax and have faith that you're a person who won't abuse your trust.

I did not want to see their phones. I grew up being really decent and honest when it comes to the relationship, feeling you have to be respectful and trusting.

Ex partner no.1 - no suspicions, he was pissed and left his phone on a worktop in the kitchen, it beeped and I looked at the screen - without even picking it up. It was a message saying "cant wait to see you again xxx" from someone with man's name. I opened the message and realised its a woman.

Ex partner 2 - he went to the shower, I was bored so wanted to look at something on my laptop he was using that morning - opened it and it was his emails with him messaging someone that he wanted to see their "tits and clit"...

If I'm going to be cheated on I want to know as soon as humanly possible. Not after a few years when I was basically a laughing stock among his friends and lovers (like I was). So now - fuck privacy, my peace of mind takes priority.