Do you check your partner’s phone?

[IncognitoUsername]

Or, what would happen if you asked to?
Following on from a few threads today, just made me curious. DH and I are regularly on each other’s phones - doing a pizza order, Funky Pigeon etc or sharing a meme that someone has sent. DH’s phone automatically connects to the car so all his WhatsApp’s etc come through onto the screen. We both have a passcode but it’s the same one so could easily open each other’s phone if we wanted to.

Would a partner having a locked down phone make you automatically suspicious?

No, I literally have zero interest in anything my partner is doing.

That’s a fair point. For us, if someone told me something on the quiet it would be expected that I would keep it secret from everyone apart from my OH. And same for them. But I respect that for a lot of people their friends would expect the secret to remain with just them

@Imitationgame It’s just MIL, FIL and DM so they’ll speak to either of us and sometimes have been emergency calls as one has fallen- so yes well both answer the phone and have no problem with it.

@Notamum12345577 "For us, if someone told me something on the quiet it would be expected that I would keep it secret from everyone apart from my OH. And same for them."

I just think that's appalling. And I know you're going to say something along the lines of "each to their own" but I really don't agree. Some things are fundamentally wrong. And not keeping confidences, except in a few very specific circumstances, is fundamentally wrong.

I answer my husband’s phone if it rings and he isn’t about. I have never thought twice about it. Most of the time I can answer whatever they want to know. If not, he rings them back when he is free.

This is so odd. I said what I said.

Never, but I could if I wanted to. We occasionally swap phones if one of us needs to use an app we don't have but the other one does, and neither of us keeps our phones on us all the time.

Never, but I could if I wanted to. We occasionally swap phones if one of us needs to use an app we don't have but the other one does, and neither of us keeps our phones on us all the time.

We swap phones for things like the Tesco order. If I've started the order and put on all the usual bits plus whatever I want i'll hand it over to him to put his bits on and vice versa. Last night we were looking at holidays and were switching back and forth to show what we had found and liked the look of. When we do this I wouldn't go looking anywhere other than what I was meant to be looking at/doing and the same goes for him. He's asked me to write emails for work stuff if he's driving and got a call about something important.

Cheating was discovered by partners and spouses long before the advent of the smart phone. If he wants to cheat then I'm sure it would be obvious in other ways. I don't need to go looking through his phone and wouldn't want to. We don't share passcodes either. I have close friends who have private conversations with me, I'm sure he has the same. I don't want to read messages from Nigel about a weird lump or his funny smelling pee as much as he doesn't want to read messages from Karen about her mastitis or episiotomy healing journey. That would be a double invasion of privacy.

No, he talks enough about 3D printing in person. I'll pass on the reddits and WhatsApp groups about it, thanks.

We both have the same pattern to unlock but we never actually look at each others phones. We do occasionally use each others phones if one is out of battery or in another room or whatever. Neither of us would look at the others messages though.

Mine is locked down as it’s a work phone, his work phone is locked down, neither of us can privately access or would wish to. However he also has a personal one, I don’t, I tend to use it for him often as he’s really crap with his phones. I have done things in his work phone randomly ie check doe something and it’s just weird engineers type shit on there.

I never check his phone, I don't know if he checks mine or not, probably not.
We have the same password and we're always leaving them laying around.
If we want to order food etc, we just use the nearest phone to hand.

I've never checked my DH's phone and he's never checked mine.

We trust each other.

I glance occasionally and it's always the same. Forums about the games he is into or other nerdy things. Sometimes he glances at my phone and it is usually some kind of gushy post about him

DH and I never use each other's phones. We'd much rather use our own if we need to do anything. We've never checked each other's phone during 16 years together. I'm confident that it would be boring. He wouldn't object if I asked to check it though. I wouldn't like him checking mine. I'd be worried he'd press something and mess up my settings.

Nope never. We might order takeaway on each others - we did tonight, he bought it so I used his phone to select etc - but would never go through it. Massive invasion of privacy imo.

My wife and I both have the same security pattern on our phones, and sometimes borrow each others (if a battery runs out or something). I can't imagine either of us particularly wanting to snoop on the other, but I wouldn't be bothered if she had a nosey through either.

Only jealous, insecure people ‘sneak’ a look at their partners phones. Equally, only the guilty will hide access to their phone from their partner. My motto has always been.. if you look, you will find something that you will take out of context.

Me and dh have same passcodes I have nothing to be worried about and nor does he only thing he might find on mine is replying to posts on mumsnet on open tab 😂😂

I've never used dh's phone or checked it and vice versa. I just don't have any need to. I use a lock password on my phone because I work in a school. I don't leave it lying around in school, but just in case.

I know all dp's passwords and he knows mine. Apart from anything else it's part of our "what if one of us dies" planning. And we leave our phones around "unattended" and could look if we wanted to

But I really don't understand "oh, I use his phone to order pizza" Why would you not use your own? Apart from anything else, I know where everything is on my phone!

Don't agree at all that only the guilty will hide access to their phone. My phone is private, I am entitled to privacy. Not because I'm doing anything wrong but I'm not an extension of another person and I don't need to share every single aspect of my life.

Don't need to check his phone, we have a decent router for our wireless at home with a mesh network, both me and my DH can check all the traffic history on the network if we really wanted too.

Plenty of ways of checking what he is upto without getting his password, but no reason not to trust him.

Our marriage predates cell phones, so for many years we shared a house phone. When we got cell phones it never occurred to us not to have open access. We each have the other's password and will pick up either phone if it rings or dings. In a marriage there should be no secrets on a phone or elsewhere.