I’m more beautiful than you and my house is bigger and nicer

[Summersinthenineties]

Neighbours over the back look after their 6 year old granddaughter, she’s also friends with my Dd at school. She always comes to stay for the day with them on a Sunday. Dd often runs into the back garden and they call to each other over the fence. The girl sometimes comes to play or Dd goes there.
We live in a nice cul de sac type area, so houses are all basically the same, aside from they’ve had renovations and have added an extra bedroom and pool, as some in the area have done.
Dd has just run in crying that this girl has shouted to her that she’s (Dd) is not beautiful and she is and that our house is small and not beautiful and her house is big and more beautiful.
Dd is really upset as has a big group of friends, boys and girls all lovely and isn’t used to this yet. I realise kids are kids and it will happen in the future, but how would you deal with this?
Her words are really pissing me off and I think she needs to learn/be taught not to say things like that. Would you message and tell the mum/grandma or leave it and maybe not encourage the friendship so much?

Just bants n lols innit, you're being too sensitive

I can't believe you're getting so involved in the strange yet wonderful world of six-year-olds.

I would have a little chat to your dd about why people someitms says these things, and she should be aware that they often say them because they don’t really feel beautiful, so saying it out loud helps them feel better. But it’s not kind and she shouldn’t do it. Also doesn’t she have fun things to think about instead of silly things that make her unhappy?

Utterly bizarre, and even more baffling that people are piling in with ridiculous speculations as to the insecurities of the child, the character of the grandmother etc. Christ you must have very little to worry you OP, well I guess you don't because you live in a perfect bubble with wonderful friends from all parts of the social spectrum (go you 🙄) where everyone is super nice to one another and never say anything mean.

I would say to my child it is not nice what was said, not nice to say it yourself and move on, you do seem to be obsessing over it

Don’t dive in and start trying to get into the mind of a 6 year old! Just teach your own child how to deal with rude unkind people.

My DD’s favourite retort was just saying “rude” with an eye roll. We practiced it together so she felt confident doing it at school.

It sounded to me like it came from an overly indulgent GM…

I think some are voting wrong here. You’re not being unreasonable to question a situation and how you should handle it. And you’re not doing anything unreasonable either.
You're simply asking if it’s reasonable to respond with two hypothetical responses.

6 year olds say things, sometimes hurtful things. And it’s hard to convey that to 6 year olds, as well.

On this occasion, ignore it. Prep Dd With some comebacks and talk it out.

Laughing at the commenter who said “you think like this little girl and jealous of their house”. Lady, grow up. This isn’t a place for bickering. Go to Facebook if you want drama. Here a parent is simply asking how to handle it

@theleafandnotthetree 😂I’m guessing you were like this girl when younger obviously still the same
I don’t live in a perfect world by any means, but nope, my friends and I and our kids don’t say things like this, they all argue at times and fall out, but they’re still really little and don’t tend to talk like that

It’s not unusual to worry about your dc or, indeed, to live in a world where people ( and yes, even small people ) don’t shout out that they are more beautiful and have a nicer house than you. In fact, I’ve lived to a goodly age and this is the first time I’ve heard it .

She’s 6. That’s the age they start noticing differences. It’s no big deal.

My 6 year old neighbour asked me why weren’t as rich as her family because her house had more televisions than our house.

Teaching your daughter resilience and to not accept people being mean to her is far more useful than trying to contact this little girl’s mum to tell her what she said, @Summersinthenineties

What would you hope to achieve? She’d be mortified by the conversation and you’d look petty grassing up a 6 year old.

@DisabilityRightsAdvocate Thank you 🙏

@Calliopespa Exactly

In an ideal world our kids would stoically turn the other cheek, but this kind of stuff does hurt their feelings (particularly if they're kind; it's a myth that all kids are mean). I used to drop some subtle ammo for my daughter to use with the mean kids (so she was ready for the next time, because with mean kids there's always a next time).

@CountingCrones It’s true, have calmed a bit from it now, not sure why it annoyed me that much. Won’t contact her, but will keep an eye out for other things being said

I hope you learnt your lesson 😂hilarious!

My son had a friend in reception who told me that we had a tincy,wincy garden 🙄His garden was smaller but had a swimming pool. He is now a complete loser doing fuck all with his life,my son is flying,earning well and a very happy guy !

I do find this all a bit bemusing, OP, because it sounds like you live in a perfectly nice normal family house. Where we live, people bring up families of 4+ kids in 2 bed flats with family members sleeping in the living-room due to housing being expensive/in short supply. Lots of families in flats with no gardens and it's quite common for two or three or more kids to have to share a room. And no one really bats an eyelid.

Except for my friend’s DS who, when she was about 6 months post partum with her fourth and struggling to shift the weight, shouted angrily at another boy at a class picnic : “And anyway, my mum is SOOO much bigger than yours.” 😞 She said she wished the ground would open. The other boy’s mum was indeed very svelte .

Teach your dd to tell her she's a twat.
Then to deny, deny, deny.

My entire primary school years were marred by a girl like this. Everything I went to school with was pissed on by her and her acolytes. I wish I'd been brave enough to tell her to fuck off.

Because you really really don’t like that other grandma, and are jealous of her style, her flashy car and her bigger house, so this just has hit a sore spot

How do you know that you never said anything like this when you were a kid? We can't remember everything we said or did at that time and the world of a 6 year old is so bizarre. Have you watched them play? Listened to them tell each other stories. The world of a six year old is batshit.

The child may have picked the language up from the TV. Nana might be watching too much Real Housewives.

I think it's the sense of injustice making you want to say something and avenge your DD. But don't. Do use it as a useful talking point - sometimes people do say mean things and it can be hurtful and upsetting BUT it's also good as it helps us to know who not to let in as a close friend.

This #bekind stuff is only ever aimed at women and girls, so I really hope you don't take this opportunity to indoctrinate your 6yo with it, OP.

You've said yourself that your dd is pretty and popular and that this child's own home is actually quite ordinary, so you've answered your own question really - the girl is insecure and envious, perhaps because of having to start again in a new school, perhaps because of whatever circumstance means she gets farmed out to granny every weekend. Just tell your dd that people are sometimes mean when they envy the other person and that she doesn't have to spend time with anyone who's going to be in the habit of being mean to her. That's literally all you have to do. You're in danger of making this a bigger deal than it is. The only way I would take it up with the other mum (or dad) is if you're friendly anyway and an opportunity hands itself to you on a plate. Even then, I would frame it as "is everything ok" rather than "your child's being so mean".

As an added extra ask yourself why this has pushed your buttons so much, because I really think this is a huge overreaction. Did something similar happen to you when you were your dd's age?

Talk about mountain out of a molehill