To be a bit upset that my mum doesn't know who inherits the house?

[chillyolives]

My mum is 55. My step dad is 44 (don't call him that, to me he's my real dad)

Anyway, I asked her casually what happens to the house if she and my dad were to die.

She said it's being left to the kids. So assuming me, and my 3 technically half siblings

I said, is she sure I would even get something since I am probably not named as one of the kids, as I'm not my dads biological etc etc

She said really absent mindedly 'oh I don't know actually, I'm sure you are included surely'

And then changed the subject.

Does anyone know if I would actually get a share of the house or not?

My mum is a lovely, lovely woman but has raging ADHD and avoids any direct, pressing issues she'd aerially have to go and find out via a 3 step process of more etc

So it's not that she's avoiding the truth on purpose, I'm sure.

My dad is a man of few words. To everyone. And I feel too awkward asking him

@chillyolives - you should post in Legal Matters to get proper advice.

Many posters are focusing on wills, but the crucial factor is how your parents hold the property.

If it is held as joint tenants, the survivor inherits from the spouse who dies - and can then do whatever they want in their will. So your mum dies, stepfather inherits, and could leave it to his biological children only. Or the reverse if step-dad dies first.

If on the other hand the property is held as tenants in common, each spouse owns a specific share - usually 50% each. In this case each spouse can leave their share to whoever they want to.

Often people in the latter situation will have a will which allows the surviving spouse to reside in the property until they too pass. However, this requires estate planning and solicitor involvement, and it seems unlikely that your parents are inclined to deal with this.

Not sure what the solution is but hopefully the helpful posters who frequent the Legal Matters board will have some suggestions.

Once again … (and this is the third time I’ve posted this now) … I said that I think she is entitled to the information if she is expected to sort out her mum’s affairs after her death, but not if she ONLY wants to ensure she’s included.

I get this .My dad had three kids me eldest . remarried they had one child .

I was told the will is split this way
dad has half wife has half. .
dad has to split his half between 4 kids . His wife gives all “her “ half to their child.

Now if it was £1000 I’d like it split by 4
it’s been close on 40 years we have knew since the ages of 1-8 my dad has always provided and we have been given the minimum as she controls the purse strings .

Their one child has plenty and works in oil he went to uni had the settled life .
The other three of us had a broken home and fought for all we have .

I’ve said I want nothing . It’s not about the money it’s about the indifference . It’s disgusting.

If I seriously thought my child was going to murder me to get his hands on my money a bit sooner, I’d have bigger issues than the will to deal with.

You sound like you’ve been reading too many Agatha Christies. There are very few parricides in this country, and those that there are, are not usually committed to get their hands on their mum’s semi in Reading.

You: "but that’s not why OP asking. She’s asking as she wants to ensure she gets a slice."

Where do you get that from?

Yes. My Nan is like this. She has told me I am listed the same as her own children instead of a grandchild. I'm not sure why she chose to do this but she's been very transparent, God bless her

Funny how OP is listed in her grandmother’s will and not her siblings. Is that not the same thing?

Unless it is her birth Dad’s mother..

Goodness me, you have a very dark view of human nature. I know that my brother and I are the beneficiaries of my mother's will. Are you saying that my brother and I must be planning to muder or neglect her? Really?

What about your biological one?

Probably in protective custody in case he/she comes over all murderous. (See my post above which quotes the most recent post from this delightful poster.)

Sitting on the sofa watching tv with mum and having a chat and a laugh. “Hey mum I’ve been wondering, have you sorted a will?” “Yes sweetie, I have”. “Am I in it” said with a lighthearted chuckle. Mum gets up, makes a phone call to solicitor : “I want my daughter removed from my will asap, I’ll see you first thing tomorrow to sign it off”. Goes back to sofa to continue watching tv with daughter.

Not sure you comprehend how 'Care fees' work

Below is a helpful link - easier to read than the others I have seen

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs39-paying-for-care-in-a-care-home-if-you-have-a-partner.pdf

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator yes I understand the rules relating to paying for care thanks. Nothing in that information sheet you linked contradicts it. In fact had to negotiate all this when my late DF entered a nursing home. Age Concern were indeed a great source of information and advice.

Christ, I'm 53 and if my kids asked about the contents of my Will I'd wonder where I went wrong.

Even if the one who asked could end up having to be the parent to their orphaned half siblings?

Strange.

I agree OP needs to know what arrangements (if any) her parents have made for her young half siblings and if she will have the means to care for them. Very unfair of them not to have initiated discussions with OP on this already. OP is showing much more maturity here than her own parents.

I am one of 4 on my dad's side. With exception of house which automatically passed to SM the rest of his money / possessions were left to one of us ( not me)

On my mums side I'm one of 3. She left myself and next brother and own 20% each of house. My youngest sibling was left 60% of house and everything else

No worth getting upset about tbh

Only if house is joint tenants rather than tenants in common

You are being very odd OP

Um … all of her posts? She has not been asked to organise her mother’s affairs after death and she has not been named as guardian of her half siblings in the event of her parents’ death. Should she be asked these things, then she can enquire about the specifics of the will.

You are not required to agree with me. Can you leave me alone now?

I'm guessing that her mum's not asked her because she's not organised enough to even know what the will says. And I'd be surprised if a guardian had been mentioned in any will.

Given that OP has already had to have the conversation with her siblings about their future of the worst happens, it seems highly likely that she'll be taking it on one way or another. And she's already made a will, presumably with her siblings in mind. Your average 26 year old doesn't consider a will necessary.

What country are you in, @chillyolives ? People are talking about legalities but AFAIK, the law is different in Scotland regarding contestation of a will.

Great. As I say, you aren’t required to agree with me.

So your nan leaving you more than is strictly “fair” is totally cool by you, but the opposite with your parents isn’t? 🤔

If you read all of the OP's posts, you'll see that her biological father has sadly been severely mentally ill and hospitalised for 20+ years. If the grandmother in question is his mother, the OP is presumably getting what would otherwise have been his share. Fair enough if she is his only child, surely?