Another mum telling my child off

[WarriorPrincess24]

Took DS (2) and step son (6) to soft play this afternoon. Step son is quite happy to run off and play. My 2 year old though really struggles and he does have some delays and he much prefers to play on his own. I was really proud of him today before this incident because usually when we go he doesn't approach the soft play area and usually wanders about, playing with the balls and just generally entertaining himself, usually he cries and gets upset if I try to force him into the soft play bit. Anyway, he managed to go into th soft play bit and there's like a little ladder you can climb and sit on, he was happily climbing and stopping etc a little girl came and slid down, she could see DS was there but regardless just crashed straight into him (I'd say she was around 6/7 so considerable old enough to have some manners) she crashed straight into him and then shoved him, DS regained his balance and he just smacked her right in th face 😳 and she roared her eyes out. Fair enough, he shouldn't have done that. Before I had chance to get over there the little girls mum shot over there, grabbed my son by the arm and tanked him off the ladder and shouted at him. I was FUMING. Ordinarily I would hav apologies for my son's actions but I didn't and I went mad. Asked her who she thinks she is touching my son and she has no right to be shouting at a two year old. She didn't say anything but gave me dirty looks the rest of the time. DH is annoyed at me because he reckons that I would have been the same had it been the other way around and that I had no right to say anything to this other mum. AIBU?
Just to add, DS has some delays and after his 2 year review they are looking at getting us some support because it's clear he has a development delay and possibly could be on the spectrum for ASD. He genuinely doesn't understand that he is hurting when he smacks, I think because he can't talk it's his way of expression. I'm not making excuses for him, I know he shouldn't have hit the little girl but in a way I feel like he just reacted in one of the only ways he knows how. Hope this makes sense.

Like they'd give a shit about that 😂

And have the mother go bald-headed for her for daring to correct her little darling??!

You simply cannot be beside your toddler every second. Especially in a place where you're trying to encourage a bit of independence and confidence.

2 year olds lash out. They're babies. They are learning their way around the world.

A lot of perfect parents on here. You should start a YouTube channel to dispense your wisdom to the rest of us mere mortals.

If any child had hit my dc in the face I'd have been livid, no matter what their age.

When my DS was about three his 10 month old cousin nutted him and have him a nosebleed. Interested to hear how you would have handled this?

YANBU

He’s two for gods sake!

So you’d have done exactly the same, grabbed a two year old child by the arm?

I was very much trying to encourage his confidence which is why I didn't intervene sooner.

I get the feeling this isn’t the full picture but I’m not sure why. It makes no sense to me that a child would crash into someone and shove them but then cry when ‘smacked in the face’.

It's 100 percent the full picture, I watched it happen with my own eyes.

She was out of order. Your son was reacting to being hurt. Kids lash out like that when they are tiny. They aren't capable of thinking of ouch that hurt, clearly it was an accident, that's a young child too, let me just move away from here.. no. Pain = reaction and sometimes that reaction is going to be a smack in the gob.

That said, if your son is going through a hitting phase then when you are out and about you need to be no further away from him than the length of your arm. Grabbing distance I used to call it when mine were that age. My eldest in particular was very aggressive and unpredictable at that age and you had to be on top of him at all times or someone would get hurt.

Have you not been around young kids very much? That's absolutely the sort of shit that happens!

Ok fair enough.

Was the slide crash an accident? If you saw her coming down the slide why didn’t you move DS? I’m not trying to be forensic I just can’t picture how it happened

I saw her coming but I assumed she would go round him, there was plenty of room for her to do so and then when she bumped into him and then shoved him afterwards, I could only assume she wanted him to move but he didn't.

This.

I can believe it! Although the six year old is also a child, she is old enough to know not to push toddlers. The other mother should not have touched your son, nor over reacted the way she did. However, if your son does hit it is as others rightfully said, better to stay close enough to intervene straight away. He is so little he would rely on you to jump in until he has the impulse control thing down(though honestly the bigger kid was being a madam so a bit of me dosent blame him for hitting her even if it’s not socially acceptable)

How do you ‘go round someone’ on a slide? Again, not trying to be difficult but something isn’t making sense and just trying to isolate what.

Was he halfway up the slide himself? Climbing up it?

The other mum was way out of line grabbing your ds!
The little girl might have her own issues but first off she shouldn't have been in the under 3s area. I'd be horrified if my child was in a baby area and hurt a baby.

2 is a baby! Of course 2 year olds hit out! Soft play should be a safe space, which is why they have areas for smaller children.
Your dh is BU, would he not also defend his child being grabbed or hurt?!

you need to be monitoring a toddler closely, yes. To protect them and to check they are behaving appropriately (because, as you say, they lash out) - that’s just basic. Particularly if there are older children in the toddler section. I don’t even know how anyone can argue with that. It’s not hindering their independence to be standing on-hand, it’s just being responsible.

It's like a wide soft play ladder thing with stepping bits on it so you can climb it and sit on the little ledges, my son was halfway up and just sat on the little ledge and the girl was at the top and coming down it on her bottom. It's plenty wide enough for the both of them.

A 2 year old doesn’t need to build up confidence by being left to his own devices you can let him explore and be in close proximity.

It is clear from this thread who the parents are who just sit on their phone at softplay And have no idea what children are doing

What an absolute cow grabbing a 2 year old. I would have demanded the soft play staff remove her.

When mine where that age, I was with them in the frame at all times. From your 'before I could get over there' and mentioning the other mum was closer, I'm assuming you were letting your 1 year old play whilst your were sat in the cafe bit.

No, she shouldn't have done what she did, but none of this should have happened, or would have happend if you'd been providing adequate parenting and supervision.

Yeah cos I was sat on my phone not paying attention when I saw the whole thing 🙄
But I wasn't paying attention tho.

If I were a betting woman I would say the accident was caused by both of them, OP’s son thumped the girl and the girl’s mum intervened at that point.

The phone comment wasn’t directed at you - sorry it was to a PP. lots of parents do just think softplay is a chance to have a break which it’s not until children are a bit older (and even then you do have to keep an eye, but not everyone does)

You don't leave a one or two year old on their own especially if you know they hit. Also he shouldn't have been sitting on the ladder not his fault but you should have been sat with him and moved him. The other mum was wrong to touch your son but you caused the situation.