to think that this current batch of 18 year olds are REALLY messed up?

[WishIMite]

I try not to generalise about groups of people, but I can't help but think, looking at my children who span various ages, that the current batch of 18 year-olds are more of a mess than the other age groups.

So much drug-taking, unable to make eye contact, rudeness (which I think is social ineptness) and lack of socialising together. Just a total lack of social skills and resilience really. They don't even seem to have proper friendship groups and alliances.

Can't help but wonder if lockdown hit them at a really crucial age.

Do other parents of 18 yo wonder the same, or is it just that my 18 yo and friends are particularly shit?

But again is this still going to be brought up in another 4 more years? How much longer can we actually say is acceptable for 'covid lockdowns' or will this be brought up all the time?

Once they get out of formal education...

University. They will be on a flat playing field.

I don't understand why you can't see that children were abversely affected by lockdowns?

... And if they're not?
If they're just going to be continuously anxious adults who will blame covid for their outlook of life?

My DS is 17. I don't see lots of drug taking or drinking (my DS never drinks or does drugs) - much healthier than when I was that age. All really kind and polite. They socialise fine and no lack of resilience. What do you mean no social group?

I think they would need help.

Mine have suffered.
Got over it. And moved on.
I know they would have had a better education without COVID.
Just have to move on.

It’s Social media

Sadly i do think that covid lockdown will be brought out for 'excuses' for many more years to come...

Regarding teens socialising, education/learning etc social media has a bigger part to play than covid definitely.
I was a teen in the mid/late 00's - when social media was just coming 'a thing'. I would hate to be a teenager now, due to how nasty people can be on social media. But that's another story!

My 19 year old is hard working, uni, holiday jobs
Saved money to travel, works every uni holiday
Drink every little, and when he goes to parties tells me drugs look boring and expensive 😂

He had a traumatic abusive childhood which resulted in at one point self harm and more

Youth of today is far more sensible than was

You might never know. I think that sort of total control is not helpful.

I don’t live in the U.K., so can only comment on the 18 year olds in Spain, but they aren’t generally like you describe. I would say that I’ve noticed here that teens don’t seem to have a clear view of what they want to be. Some of them have no idea at all. I don’t remember that with my peer group. Most of us had some idea of what we wanted to do/study etc. That may be more to do with the lack of careers advice and job opportunities here though, rather than the current generation. My friends in the U.K. don’t have 18 year olds, our kids are younger teens, but again, they don’t seem to be as you’ve described, the opposite actually. Much more clean living than we were as teens.

I actually agree op. Lockdown fractured something and hit them at a crucial time. They are coping against the odds. I don’t want future employers or academic institutions to forget about lockdown impact. It feels like everyone expects them to just get on with it like nothing happened.

Oh come on!

It was a shit time. Some families had a very difficult time, including OP. Absolutely further support is needed.

Most other teens ... are FINE & the idea that future employers would take account of a pandemic with some restrictions years before leaves me stupefied. .

But the vast majority of young people are getting on with it like nothing happened.

Of course, there will be some whose resilience was lower for whatever reason, who haven't managed to bounce back yet. And they need support. But I'm not sure if lockdown was necessarily the cause of their difficulties or just a trigger for things that might well have happened anyway.

I don't think the solution is that employers or universities etc need to make allowances. The priority is to properly sort out our mental health services so that kids with mental difficulties can access appropriate and effective support in a timely manner.

The priority is to properly sort out our mental health services so that kids with mental difficulties can access appropriate and effective support in a timely manner.

💯

Well Sunak, has come up with a solution hasn't he? Conscription!😂

None of my kids nor their closest friends smoke weed. As far as I know they have never had friends who smoked weed.

Whereas I knew a lot of people who smoked weed when I was a teenager and in my twenties. Including some of my friends. They all respected that I didn't want to be around them when they smoked. As far as I know none of my friends did hard drugs.

However, I did go to parties with class mates and their friends where people would mention casually that they could just slip something into my drink. Then I casually mentioned that if I got drugged I could just find a huge stick and beat the crap out of everyone. They'd say that not everyone would be guilty. I said that someone who knew but didn't warn me would still be guilty. Never did anyone have a reply to that. This conversation happened on at least three occasions with different people. Then my class mates wondered why I didn't want to go to the big parties anymore. Quelle surprise!

And yes, I do know that if I had been drugged I might not have been able to do that. But I usually knew a lot of people at the parties and it wouldn't have been a problem to find the address of the guilty party, which I also liked to remind them. The advantage of growing up in the wrong part of town is that you learn how to threaten people and make them believe it.

As it was pretty obvious that the ones who were most eager to get me to do drugs were guys who knew I'd never be sexually interested in them no matter how much they hinted but who thought they could take advantage if I was under the influence, I sometimes joke that they "vaccinated" me against ever wanting to try drugs.

Turns out you are Rishi after all. Fab idea with the national service btw 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I just want to say for balance, and not to upset or worry anyone, that for everyone saying their teens drink but not to excess, never touch drugs etc. how on earth do you actually know? I used to tell my mum similar stories of my own moderation when I was up to all sorts of nefarious things. It didn’t make me a bad person and I don’t even think it points to immaturity. It’s part of growing up.

I also think it’s hard to be young. I hated it. I am so much happier now I’m in my thirties. I definitely used alcohol and other things to escape my own anxieties and dreads. Perhaps some youngsters feel better able to articulate their mental health issues now.

Social media has definitely messed up teens more than lockdown. We all went through lockdown together!

Yes a lot of posters have said that no parent can possibly know for sure. Just like we can't know if our husbands are having affairs. Fair enough. I am pretty certain though because there are indicators. I am just not comfortable with the implication that all teens smoke weed and all men are unfaithful, and anybody who believes otherwise is naive.

In my case, my parents were constantly paranoid that I was drinking or smoking weed. I wasn't. I agree it's hard to be young.

A year ago I worried about my immature, antisocial nearly-eighteen year old DS. He was rude, barely socialised and couldn’t wait to leave.

Then he finished his a levels and traveled a bit with a friend, using money he’d saved from working in the evening. He came back enthusiastic about things again, determined to have enough money to travel independently again.

University is seven hours away: no coming home every other week, no bringing back the washing. I taught him to shop and cook, provided laundry pods. He had to stand on his own feet. He did it.

He looks after himself and his mates, never lets a mate wander off alone on a night. He has an internship organised for the summer (took 3 rounds of interviews, he’ll earn well). We look forward to his girlfriend coming to stay at weekends, when she isn’t working. He is social, verbally astute and good company.

He drinks, no drugs or vapes. He spends time during the holidays helping his grandparents in their garden. I know he texts family while he is at uni, just keeping in touch. I am proud of the man he has become.

It has come good in time. I was probably a wanker at 18 to be honest.

Yes but we weren’t all the same age. That’s the point. I got my proms and my school trips and my first ciders on the lawn in real life. My 18 year old didn’t. I don’t subscribe to the social media messed them up mantra. I’m looking at real life and tangible outcomes with an 18 year old who has had to play catch up and an incredible speed. Online friends saved them through lockdown.

I was a teen in the mid/late 00's. I did not miss out because i didn't do these.

Social media has definitely messed up this generation of teens more so than covid.

totally respect your opinion. It’s just not mine. And it’s not an either or situation surely.
I do think you cannot equate your experience as a young person to theirs. Not with Covid.

It’s more prevalent in those in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, it was those that were running to the park in lockdown to buy their drugs, school playgrounds are full of parents with drug habits, the smell of weed and even stand the opposite side of the road to the school smoking weed.