to think that this current batch of 18 year olds are REALLY messed up?

[WishIMite]

I try not to generalise about groups of people, but I can't help but think, looking at my children who span various ages, that the current batch of 18 year-olds are more of a mess than the other age groups.

So much drug-taking, unable to make eye contact, rudeness (which I think is social ineptness) and lack of socialising together. Just a total lack of social skills and resilience really. They don't even seem to have proper friendship groups and alliances.

Can't help but wonder if lockdown hit them at a really crucial age.

Do other parents of 18 yo wonder the same, or is it just that my 18 yo and friends are particularly shit?

@TrickyD can I ask what the college course is that she is doing as my DS wants to do accounting but is also not sure about Uni and has just missed out on an apprenticeship with a big 4 at the last hurdle. Your daughter sounds great.

I disagree. My 18 year old and her friends are bright, hard working - lots of them have part time jobs, all of them have plans for the future. They're all polite and friendly and pretty well organise their own lives. They certainly socialise but not to the detriment of everything else

I would say they're more independent than I was at that age

Fuck's sake. I'm as middle class as they come, grew up in Devon, and when I was 18, my mates were doing Es and raving in fields all weekend, one had a heroin problem, and another already had two kids by different dads. We're all in our 40s now and no more or less messed up than any other batch of 40somethings.

This generation are probably less messed up than Gen Xers like me if anything. Loads of them don't even drink.

It must be who you’re mixing with OP.

My son was in year 11 when covid hit so he’s a bit older. He missed out on lots due to lockdown but he’s at Uni and is very capable and focused on his future. He’s polite, works part time in a customer facing role and can chat with anyone. He passed his driving test at 18, vital for where we live as public transport isn’t great. He has a lovely group of friends who are all similar and range from 18-22. They all seem to be well rounded young adults. They’re all too into fitness to vape and they drink a lot less than we did at that age. They’re all want to be successful in their career as they know how tough the housing market and life in general is going to be for them.

It annoys me when people knock our young generation, I see so much goodness and determination in so many of them. I’m sure lockdown impacted many of them but that’s to be expected when years of such an important time is taken from them. Most seem to have overcome it well, they just get on with it.

My 17.5yo doesn’t do any of this - yet! Maybe he’ll go off the rails next year but so far he seems pretty sensible.

are

My DD turned 19 last week so still qualifies I think!
No I don't agree. She certainly knows how to talk to people, look them in the eye. She doesn't take drugs or drink. She has a tight group of friends and they are all at art school do do things like go to exhibitions or lectures at museums. The other night they did an online take together for three hours.
As for resilience I'd say the pandemic helped with this. They've had quite a bit of disappointment- school trips cancelled, not being able to see friends for months, no or fewer holidays, maybe even the death of a grandparent from Covid.
Most people of this age I know have part time jobs, go to school or uni, work hard and have good relationships with their parents.

I have an 18 yr old ds. He is the most polite, amazing young man.

He has a part time job and college and a nice group of friends.

Laughing so much at this thread

'Not my little Jimmy he would NEVER so much as be in the same room as alcohol'

Yeahhhh okay then 😉

I know four kids of friends that age - and they vary a lot.

One is first year uni doing well academically and coping ok socially but I know is on meds for anxiety.
One started uni, dropped out, smokes tons of weed, sleeps til lunchtime and is a mess in terms of MH.
One is clever but failed exams through lack of effort, left school and drinks/parties at weekends on the proceeds of a p/t job.
One is doing an apprenticeship and seems fairly well balanced.

Compared to the cohort that went through school with my youngest about 8 years ago, there's definitely more with issues now.

My son drinks but a lot less than we did at his age. When your maintenance loan at uni leave you £4k short on rent, nevermind paying for food, then between uni work and working part time, there’s not a lot of cash left or time for drinking in term time. 🤷🏻‍♀️Shit but that’s life for many students.

Which is another issue on its own since will mess them up in the future and make them more prone to mental health issues .

I disagree. When my 40 year old brother went to uni, one dropped out and smoked weed and had a major mental health crisis, another tried to commit suicide and never finished his course.

As a teen I had raging depression (hell undiagnosed ADHD), one girl had anorexia, another got kicked out of school for drugs and a crazy amount of girls in my year got pregnant before 18.

These issues are nothing new. We just talk about them more.

Don’t agree. I assess many young people who don’t use substance,don’t smoke don’t drink alcohol. They seem to drink less than other cohorts did/do. They’re an often pilloried group. It’s a tired trope, self off the millennials

I don’t see this in the 6th former I teach or see around school every day. This is in an inner city state school in a borough with high levels of social deprivation . There are problems, for sure, linked to lockdown and CoL etc, but not many of the things you are listing for most.

I don’t find this

Definitely a lot of weed use. More openly. Maybe the difference is its more open and less hidden I don't know.

Anyone remember how Gen X were all slackers with no ambition? Plus ca change.

I have noticed their development has been delayed, obviously due to the pandemic. Some have the most difficult time with their mental health. Suicides. It’s been horrendous in places. Terrifying. Even the GPs were overwhelmed by the scale - the tsunami of need.

My dd has great friends, is independent but it’s all taken longer. Less keen on risk. An incredibly kind and empathic bunch in my experience on the whole. Socially definitely not as confident. We owe it to this generation to look after them extra well in my view.

Sorry, but mine aren't like that. They are hard-working, polite, don't take drugs, or smoke, or drink much. They go to the gym most days, and have a clear idea of what they want to do in life.

I was much worse at that age.

You are not describing the 18yr olds in DDs circle by any stretch. They are a large, very sociable group always out at gigs and parties (less now as mid A Levels) there's a bit of a drinking culture but no worse than there was when I was 18. I'm sure there is some weed being smoked, but that was pretty standard in my social group at that age too. In my experience, they are bright, funny, politically and socially engaged and good company.

Our 18 year old is nothing like that. She is quiet, respectful and loving. She is working hard at college, looking forward to studying for her degree and has a lovely boyfriend.

I could have written this word for word although work in Professional Services. We were in person throughout the pandemic albeit for practical hands-on courses (in very small group) and in person from 20/21 onwards.

As a small University, we seemed to do so much more than the local large ones that kept much more online (when there was no need IMO)

WishIMite
I try not to generalise about groups of people

Then proceeds to generalise.

Every generation of young people has been subjected to carping by disillusioned with life, youth envying elders though haven't they?

It's not young people selfishly fucking up society and opportunity is it.

The adults of the future will be fine

What a strange and mean comment.

Of course I would. Her prettiness is a bonus, along with her kind and affectionate personality.