to think that this current batch of 18 year olds are REALLY messed up?

[WishIMite]

I try not to generalise about groups of people, but I can't help but think, looking at my children who span various ages, that the current batch of 18 year-olds are more of a mess than the other age groups.

So much drug-taking, unable to make eye contact, rudeness (which I think is social ineptness) and lack of socialising together. Just a total lack of social skills and resilience really. They don't even seem to have proper friendship groups and alliances.

Can't help but wonder if lockdown hit them at a really crucial age.

Do other parents of 18 yo wonder the same, or is it just that my 18 yo and friends are particularly shit?

I disagree.

I’m a senior nurse in a small hospital where I mentor student nurses (the age range can be between 18-late 40’s). The past 12-18months or so I’ve been blown away by the younger students we’ve had, they really have been exceptional. Their attitude, professionalism, knowledge snd willingness to work is excellent. I’m not saying I don’t see it in the older ones but certainly this younger group really stand out to me and my colleagues.

My friends daughter is 18 and she certainly likes to party/go to festivals and drink, but she’s straight A student and will be going to uni this year. She has also worked throughout her studies and has saved a lot/bought her own car as her friends have too.

When I was 18 (late 90’s) my friends and I all binge drank every weekend, most did drugs and any money we earned was spent.

Said every older generation ever of the young uns.

Genuinely can’t relate to this. I have an 18y and 20y old. Yes Covid screwed with their lives at a formative time. But my kids fear drugs so no cannabis etc but they do drink socially. They are so polite to other adults (though I get the odd sulk and eye roll). Very sociable. At uni going out all the time. Holidays planned with friends. Pretty normal from what I can see.

I had to rush off earlier -but to continue- in many of my students I see huge levels of group support with language learning and other barriers. I know a lot of 18 year olds, whose circumstances have been far from ideal, who display maturity, consideration and resourcefulness that I certainly didn’t have at their age.

They are a staggering kind, considerate and thoughtful generation , perhaps due to the adversity they collectively endured. None I know drink or smoke, they are vegetarians and care deeply for the planet in my experience. Most are very supportive of each other.
Those with gaming addictions may need more help I suspect, as otherwise they would be enjoying this kind of life themselves.

Late to this but absolutely can’t relate. I have an 18 year old and obviously know quite a few. They, for the most part, seem to be remarkably together to me, they drink less, smoke less and work harder (and that’s both at school and in paid employment) than I did at their age (and I was fairly good overall). I have just hosted a fair few for a birthday drinks and they were chatty polite, funny able to hold a conversation with all family members, just all round lovely.

This sounds nauseating but it does genuinely make me more hopeful for the future when I see them.

I think we hear so much negativity about the impact of Covid, screens, deteriorating behaviour, poor parenting we expect them to be problematic. I agree this isn’t a new problem thought, go back to ancient history and you’ll find people worrying about the youth.

She is my granddaughter actually 😀. AAT level3 Diploma at our local college and when she starts her job will continue with level 4 in the evenings and carry on from there.
Sorry about your DS’ disappointment. It is fair to say DGD was given a lot of coaching before the interview by her dad, who is a recruiter and my DH a retired headteacher on interview techniques, likely questions and how to deal with difficult ones.
She still headed off to the interview very nervously, but after getting home and receiving the offer within half an hour, she was a changed girl.

I know quite a few across a wide range and they are mostly all polite and fine.

I teach that age group in a normal state mixed comp 6 th form. They are similar to previous years. Maybe a little immature but generally lovely. Cut them some slack they will be fine .

I met an 18 year old girl in the most horrendous circumstances this week. She had turned her car over, after clipping a n embankment. On the way she hit another car. Although shocked, upset and in tears all she kept saying was how sorry she was and worrying about the other lady's car. Not any self pity, just took responsibility.
Thankfully no one was hurt. It's a spot that has seen a lot of accidents. I came across the scene just after it happened. The other driver was just cutting the young girl from her seat as the car was on its side...first thing said " I'm sorry "

You weren't young in the 1990's were you.

My DD is fabulous! She has a great group of close friends (girls and boys), a lovely girlfriend, is doing well at College and has a part time job she enjoys. She doesn't drink at all, although her friends do, and is totally disinterested in drugs (which is a huge relief for me, as I am an addict in recovery, for many years now, but have been very aware of the genetic predisposition for addiction, which may have also informed my DDs choice not to drink etc.).

There are a couple of my DD's friends from school, who regularly take drugs and one who is suffering from poor mental health, but from a large group, I don't think it's a particularly large percentage and certainly no more than when I was 18. In fact, I would say that the 18 year olds I know drink and take drugs far less than my friends and I did at their age.

My 18 & 20 Yr old DS & all their friends are pretty normal compared to what I'd expect. Drinking yes, drugs no, some vape but not many. All seem pretty well adjusted & sociable young people

I've just spent a year at college with this age group and some of them are 100% brilliant. Some of them are not. My own 18yr old is great, some of her friends are not.

We will not know the repercussions of the Covid19 lockdown for a very long time, maybe never.

I was 18 in 2006 and there was a lot of drug taking amongst my generation

When I see the uni/college encampments and also speak to young people online I am constantly amazed by their tenacity and moral values. I am extremely proud of my son who is just a bit younger than the OP's. They really are an amazing bunch and use incredible, none-aggressive, none-violent ways to get across their views on the world.

My 18 yo is doing well at college, has a job, drives and a polite group of friends. I think it depends on the influences and natural inclinations of individuals. Her group aren't really any different to my older children's peers at that stage.

1997 here, and same!

Posters saying ‘my child would NEVER touch weed’ are the same as posters who say their husband would ‘NEVER cheat’ in my view. You can hope for the best but never be certain.

They didn’t have two years taken away from them. They had normal patters of schooling and socialising disrupted for a bit, that’s all.

I wonder if the parents of those children that died of suicide would agree with you on that? They were perfectly healthy children before the pandemic.

My DD18 is a bit like this - no drugs, drinking or rudeness - she doesn’t go out much, which really surprises me. We used to live for the weekends!
She’s at college and has a part time job but just can’t be bothered to socialise and prefers to stay in watching Netflix in her room. I think her friends are largely the same. she became more solitary during the pandemic and it’s sort of stuck.

This. It seems we treat 10 year olds as adults but 16 year olds as children. No wonder our children are confused. It really isn't the children that are to blame for their behaviour, it is the adults who are at fault.
The schools here were closed today so lots of families in town, three times i shook my head in disbelief at the shocking way parents treated children. One woman got off the bus and stomped off down the road, her early teen daughter took the pushchair and the baby, the other Daughter took hold of the 6 year olds hand and dragged her off the bus ( the wee one was carrying a bag full of shopping!) the doors closed and the bus pulled away leaving the 3ish year old son still on the bus with his shopping bag. Second one was in our local Matalan that is closing, there is a lot of space as there are less than half the normal amount of rails, a child who i would say was 7 or 8, he had grabbed hold of a trolley and was running around with it, he knocked into a shelf and his mother ignored him, only when he crashed the trolley into a woman did she bother her arse to shout at him "baby Why have you got the trolley, put it back, the child pushed the trolley that hard it smashed into the door, mother didn't bat an eyelid. Only when he ran behind the tills did she bother hollering baby come here or you won't get a treat. The staff and the customers were glad when baby and his mother left the store. Third a final was in the supermarket, a mum with 3 lads aged 5 to 12, the lads were well behaved, walking beside the trolley, middle child asked for some yoghurts and the mum said yes but not those ones, the reply from the son was " your a fuckin dickhead mum just get them put in the fuckin trolley, the mother never said a word, just picked up the yoghurts the son wanted and put them in the trolley.
No wonder our children don't know how to behave, their parents don't guide them or discipline them. How can we expect children to become fully functioning decent able adults if we don't bother to teach them how.

Teenagers have been the same since the 1980s (drugs and computer games and drinking), you've just got older.

assume you dont have an 18yo? No one have said they wouldn't do these things but the fact is 18yo's these days are way different to when I was 18 in the 80's, and thank god for that!