Dad ruining wife's half-marathon finish

[BlowDryRat]

Has anyone else seen this video?

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Brief synopsis: A dad stands by the half-marathon finish line with his young daughters. Crucially, he's standing in front of the finish ribbon. When he sees his wife about to win the race, he encourages the toddlers to intercept her with hugs. She has to dodge them to avoid knocking them over, finishes the race and celebrates. Dad throws up his arms in disgust at her choosing to win the race rather than stop to hug her daughters.

IMO this is the perfect example of a man trying to make his wife's achievements all about him, then blaming her for his ineptitude and her wanting to celebrate her own achievement. A mother is an individual in her own right.

I feel the same way about men who propose to their partners when they've won a race/accepted an award/ celebrating their graduation.

YABU - he's an amazing dad and the mum let her kids down by selfishly taking the win.

YANBU - he's a dick.

@SeriaMau very good😂 but you missed the slight turn of the body at 1.32 which makes it clear only one of the children is his and the other is hot green runner man’s. He’s feeling both emasculated and overshadowed by the running glory which is actually the basis for the arms being thrown up. It’s gripping stuff this drama

The only logical explanation is that he's having an affair with the runner up 😄

Nope.

I'm saying if she didn't want to stop / bring kids with her - absolutely fine.

If she did - that's fine too.

It's unclear what happened here and if there was mixed communication between her and her DH or if he made a slightly silly spur of the moment decision.

Regardless, he does not deserve the level of opprobrium being heaped on him.

I'm angry that he put her in the position of having to swerve one of her kids running for a hug.

But why 'angry'?! You don't know her. You don't know the situation. You don't know exactly what happened. Imagine this is what angers you?!

He definitely doesn't deserve the vitriol being aimed at his by some of the deranged and sexist posters, but..... you know, man bad, so whatever.

100% this.

Sorry if being a good mum is such a crime!

This.

My dh has brought our kids to watch me at numerous races over the years. He has never expected me to stop or let the kids into the path of the runners. I’ve never had to tell him not to do these things because he’s not a useless fucking idiot and can see for himself that I’m killing my self trying to achieve my goal finish time and that it’s dangerous to let kids loose in front of a bunch of determined racers with their eyes on the prize.

I can’t say what this man’s reasoning was but his actions were stupid ans thoughtless at best and put his dc at risk.

It's annoying. No matter what the achievement or tragedy is, women are always defined by their parenting status or marital status.

"Mother-of-three wins marathon/found dead."

It's like women are no longer people in their own right when they marry or have children. Their personal achievements can no longer be about them. Her husband just acted out this attitude in real life. He tried to make her achievement about her being a mother.

Meanwhile, while the news reports criticise him, they still refer to her as "Marathon Mom"...

I've already said why I'm angry? She had to swerve her poor kids outreached arms thanks to his pillockness

I get angry about lots of stuff that doesn't concern me. I have different levels of anger. I'm also mildly angry right now that the neighbours cat is once again sat outside crying to be let in because it's pissing down and they are ignoring it and the poor thing is drenched. I mean, if thats OK with you obvs 🤣

@EarringsandLipstick

Well, she evidently didn’t want to stop and hug the kids did she hence the swerve 🤣

I feel sorry for him and I think it’s a stretch to say he was trying to destroy her achievement. Yes, he was silly but that doesn’t mean he is a misogynist.

Many runners, run over the line with their kids. My husband has done it. I think society is so willing to make assumptions about others and vilify them based on what they see on social media,without the context or background detail. It’s sad and a bit scary.

Sigh.

There is a valid point there, for sure. Women are too often defined by their role as mother / grandmother / carer in some way.

However, you are also over-doing it - exactly in the same way as 'Mother of 3 injured in car accident ...', it would be 'Father of 3 ...'.

Also, yet again, you are imagining a scenario with no evidence

You can't say he tried to make her achievement about being a mother - you don't know he did!!

Well, she evidently didn’t want to stop and hug the kids did she hence the swerve

Yes, she did.

Whether she had initially planned to or not, we don't know.

I was disagreeing with the assertion that 'we are all agreed that she shouldn't ...'. We are not 'all agreed'. It's a matter of choice. There's no 'should'. If she did stop and wanted to, great. If she didn't stop, and didn't want to, also great.

Are these very serious grounds for a divorce???

Well it seems like a waste of emotion - it's affecting you not at all. I mean, at least the cat situation is a real-life one in front of you, and you care about the cat and are disturbed my its crying.

You are angry here about an imagined situation (you don't know he was being a pillock, that's your creation) about someone who doesn't in any themselves appear to be adversely affected, that you don't even know.

It's really odd.

@EarringsandLipstick

well, if she wanted to she would have done wouldn’t she? And she didn’t?

I don’t know why you can’t just accept that she didn’t want to. She shouldn’t have stopped and lessened her own achievement. It wasn’t the time for hugs, woman be focusing on her run and her achievement! She was in the zone! Hence her reaction at the end.

go, girl!

I dont think I imagined her being put in the position of having to swerve her kids outstretched arms.

Anyway, my advice is don't give headspace to how others decide to spend their emotional quota. It doesn't affect you.

Sigh back at you.

It doesn't matter that they do it about men too. I'm not talking about men. I'm talking about women. And actually men will often be defined by their occupation before their parenting status. "Bus driver wins marathon".

We may not know why he did it, but he did nearly ruin her win. What he did was obviously a stupid thing to do. It was clear she was in the lead, but there was someone right behind her. Anyone with a lick of sense would know not to shove children into her path and risk her losing the race. What did he think was going to happen? That the guy in second would hold back so she could arrange to cross the line with her children? It's a race!

The cat has finally been let in 🙌

BIG difference between dickish behavior and actual abuse.

Is it Robbie Wiliams ?

I thought I could faintly hear someone singing 'Angels' in the background.

Yes - all the people piling on to call him names without any knowledge of the situation - which is inconsequential anyway - hope people put a bit more thought into other areas of their lives!

Except always putting your children first isn't necessarily being a good mum. 'Put your own oxygen mask on yourself before helping others' is for a good reason.

Are men also "silly" when they can't think for themselves in the home too? "Oh I just did what you said. You didn't tell me when not to do it."

You know, that whole mental load thing where some women have to think of every possible scenario so they can tell their husbands what to do because some men are incapable of using their own brains.

I wouldn’t want to pass judgment based on this tiny clip because looks can be deceiving! But if it’s all exactly as it’s been described then yes I’d be annoyed too.