Dad ruining wife's half-marathon finish

[BlowDryRat]

Has anyone else seen this video?

Non-DM link

Brief synopsis: A dad stands by the half-marathon finish line with his young daughters. Crucially, he's standing in front of the finish ribbon. When he sees his wife about to win the race, he encourages the toddlers to intercept her with hugs. She has to dodge them to avoid knocking them over, finishes the race and celebrates. Dad throws up his arms in disgust at her choosing to win the race rather than stop to hug her daughters.

IMO this is the perfect example of a man trying to make his wife's achievements all about him, then blaming her for his ineptitude and her wanting to celebrate her own achievement. A mother is an individual in her own right.

I feel the same way about men who propose to their partners when they've won a race/accepted an award/ celebrating their graduation.

YABU - he's an amazing dad and the mum let her kids down by selfishly taking the win.

YANBU - he's a dick.

If she won I would think her time would be a lot quicker than that.

[misses point entirely, but I am curious to know what her time was]

It's in the video in BIG yellow numbers.

https://runninglevel.com/running-times/half-marathon-times

And 1h40 seems to be between Advanced and Elite for a 30 year old woman (don't know her age) so a great time

Why not? I'm so perplexed about this. Kids LOVE doing this. No, not every family will but lots do. They are excited to see their parent achieving something and love the little bit of participation. people are so weird here at times.

You are totally incorrect, sorry. I have run for years, at different levels, including reasonably competitively. I have run with VERY serious runners.

If it is a race like a half- or full-marathon, it is incredibly common for people to run over the finish line with their kids - I mean, little kids, not their teens!! Like a baby or small children like in this example.

It will have no bearing on their time - if it's a long race, it's the difference of seconds and in most cases, even for serious runners, the family support and their pride matters a lot too.

I was never co-ordinated enough to do it when my kids were small - they would be along the route somewhere, and would wave, and then I would see them afterwards but it was too complicated to get them in position and not what was foremost on my mind.

But many of my fellow runners, serious competitive runners did. People on this thread have no clue.

I mean, that being said, putting said kids immediately in her path wasn't the right approach either!

According to some posters it's a good way to express love and support

@Februaryfeels

Nope. That's not what was being said, by me, at least.

If you are going to do this, plan it well, don't of course push the kids in front so anyone falls over them. However, if it is the case that the mum, planned to stop, and then didn't, that might have been the cause of confusion.

Running together over the line, is of course a way of expressing happiness in their parent's achievement, that many parents and kids like to do - as well as many who decide not to.

Sorry you've such a hard time understanding that.

I voted YANBU but also whenever I see a story like this I assume that it's half-garbled and as you say there could be more to it, like the plan you mention.

Can anyone link to where the runner says it was pre planned as I have googled and can't find anything.

It certainly looks like poor behaviour from the husband but all I have seen is the video and no interviews with him or his wife.

Oh, I haven't watched the video, just seen pics. Thanks.

That running level page is not geared at elite/club runners.
Believe me, the Elite times on there wouldn't get you a podium finish in most 1/2 marathons.

I can't get beyond all the news stories to find out about the Presidente Prudente Half Marathon - it's terrain etc. I think it was very, very warm.

I'm not minimising her win at all, I'm just curious to know what the course was like.

If it was a fun run, yes. But not a half marathon that this woman has trained hard for months in advance. It’s not about the kids. It’s about her own individual achievement.

I read earlier that the woman wasn't expecting to win, so she'd said she'll jog with the kids across the finish line.

The stupid bell end of a father could have used his one brain cell to realise that as she was actually winning, jogging with two toddlers probably not the best idea with another runner right up her arse practically.

I imagine someone will say that as she wasn't explicit with the instructions its not his fault. We just cant expect men to use common sense, they need spoon feeding 🙄

I'm so angry for her.

Where did you read that. Several posters are keen to see links

I can't keep posting this but I will, once more.

I have run MANY half-marathons. My kids have cheered me on from the sidelines, never run over the line with me, just because I didn't really care too much to organise that.

But lots and lots of serious runners have had their little kids with them for the last little bit, usually babies or young enough they can be whooshed along and it is cute.

yes, they are serious runners (men and women), caring about their time (it makes almost no difference to their time in a half- or full to pick up a child, it's not a sprint ffs).

Some posters haven't a notion.

And by the way, I love my kids' (who are now teens) pride in my sporting (such as it is!) achievements - I did a type of Hyrox event recently and they were so proud and having their interest meant a lot (especially given the hours and hours I spend bringing them to their many sports!)

You feel so angry for her?

Despite not having a clue who she is or what SHE is actually feeling?

We have zero idea of the context here. It appears him pushing the kids towards her was a silly action, and could have been dangerous.

Other than that we don't know if she had intended to slow down and bring them with her and didn't, or if he decided to; we have had all sorts of invention around his 'outraged reaction' which appears to be nothing of the sort.

It's just ridiculous, and the idea that you would be 'so angry' on behalf of a random stranger who hasn't even addressed the matter is beyond peculiar.

fair enough, I am not a runner even though I have friends who have done from 5ks to ironmans... I just googled averages...

At the end of the day though we are all agreeing that she shouldn’t have stopped running for the kids aren’t we.

its not about the kids, its about her

I'm angry that he put her in the position of having to swerve one of her kids running for a hug.

I can't find the post 😩 it was on FB and someone had linked to one of those random sites like Bored Panda or similar and it was on there that apparently she'd said she'd jog across the line with her kids if she wasn't winning.

Obvs not sure if that's true. In a way it makes the situation slightly better if so as then imo it's not about him being a complete dick, its him just being absolutely devoid of common sense.

It’s a stretch but she is obviously shagging the other runner because he respects her for her achievements and equally knows what a woman is. The husband is annoyed that she isn’t at home cooking dinner, and had used their children, with whom he otherwise had little involvement, as a way of both making it all about him, and reminding her of her ‘proper place’ Afterwards he would have gaslit her to say that it was all her idea to let the kids give her a hug, and cross the finish line with her. I think that is all fairly clear from the clip.

Yeah - he’s clearly responding to an official/other spectator telling him off.

It’s not uncommon for men and women to finish with dc at the end. She may have done this many times before with the dc. Ideally, the dh would have read the situation (pb/finishing first) and held the dc back. But to make out he’s some dark villain here is weird.

I think it's just a mix up in communication, not really a big deal

This.

DH clearly had bad judgement in not reading the situation and having better control of DC. He didn't throw his arms up in disgust at wife, but was gesturing to a spectator in a separate interaction (most likely being berated by a fellow spectator).

Ultimately he was showing support by being there and looked happy and proud. He definitely doesn't deserve the vitriol being aimed at his by some of the deranged and sexist posters, but..... you know, man bad, so whatever.

😂are you having a giraffe?

He's an absolute idiot and he could have got either his wife or his children seriously hurt, as well as losing her the race. I bet they had words later. Twat.

There was a bike with the first woman which suggests she might have won?