To be irritated that my dh couldn’t just buy the kids a souvenir each

[Shitvenir]

Instead of a random plush to share?

He’s been away with work for a week. One FaceTime in all that time. Most of my text’s unanswered (I only sent 3 a day tops). It wasn’t his idea to bring something back for them, I suggested it might be nice so they knew he was thinking of them. A bag of sweets they wouldn’t get at home or something small, even a bloody pen each surely would be nicer than a stuffed animal that neither of them can have in their bed without the other being upset? I just wanted him to be a bit thoughtful.

This has actually made me laugh ...what was he thinking 🤔

3 texts a day is ‘needy and too much’ 😂😂😂 fucking hell. I’m glad me and DH actually like hearing from each other. YANBU OP!

People have different jobs and work trips away differ. I travel with work sometimes, often with big time differences. I have never not had time to text dh and the kids, plus a call here and there, and generally have some down time. It's not exhausting, I'm generally working 9-5 and then dinner with colleagues that are usually fun.

Totally on your team OP - it’s not about what it was - it’s about being considerate about them impact.

DH travels for work quite a lot and he and I are practiced at it - he texts in the morning, checks in at some point during the day and calls me when he’s back home at his hotel in the evening - if we’re on a time zone that makes that impractical then he leaves a video message for the DCs at that point. If you and someone else are doing life + raising children together then you want to feel like you’re on the same team - even if he’s away.

A lot of people are appallingly behaved when travelling for work and my DH is conscious that he doesn’t want me to worry / feel like our gang is not his priority.

Both halves of a partnership feeling loved and prioritised obviously looks different for every couple. You haven’t felt like that during your partners trip. I hope that you are able to express that to him and feel heard by him.

You aren’t ‘needy’ for having needs. That’s a bullsh*t way to shut down and minimise you. You are allowed to have preferences + make requests. You are allowed to want more input, more prioritisation, more togetherness, more consideration, more accountability, more fairness, more contact, more reassurance. If you express your hopes and he feels like what you are asking for is too much, then he can respectfully find a compromise with you.

You aren’t crazy or needy - I suspect you DO need to have a bigger conversation about how you would like things to be different.

sending you grit!

Yes he should have bought a gift each. Surprised he can get dressed alone in the morning as that OS basic common sense. Is he tight? Can you make him get another one and put different ribbons or something on them so they know who's is whos?
Also, where is YOUR gift🎁💝 you had the kids the whole time?! 👀⏳😁

Who the fuck actually thinks 3 texts a day is too much? Must be from the carrier pigeon era. I can send 3 texts in seconds! My DH and I have a constant dialogue throughout the day via text. He especially likes to text me when we’re both at home and he’s in the bog. We talk all the time because we like one another! It’s the equivalent of chatting. If one of us is busy the other will still text with natter/ photos/ etc. I like coming back to my phone and seeing DH has text me 5 times!

He should have just stopped at a petrol station on the way home and got them a bag if haribo each. I like Snowy but I'm not sure a non Tin Tin fan would be fussed.

you are taking sole charge of the kids and household duties for a week and he can’t be bothered to fire you a few texts a day or pick up the phone to see how you all are? Unless there is a massive drip feed that he’s an undercover cop and this would blow his cover you are not being unreasonable!

He could have at least got them a toy each 🙄 although I have to say the lack of communication wouldn't be a problem for me - DH has been away for 2 days and I haven't text or called him and he hasn't either. I probably wouldn't unless there's an emergency. It's just normal for us as he's always worked away and I'm used to just getting on with things without him!

He’s away with work. If I’m away with work my husband is spending 4 hours a day before and after work parenting plus housework. If I don’t have that in my life because I’m staying in a hotel do you not think 3 texts a day is an absolute non issue?

I’m hoping this was written as sarcastic?

Ha at posting the same as @Codlingmoths

Hehe love this 😅

Are you joking? How does he fit in working with all those texts?

@Shitvenir Snowy from the Tintin stories?
So cute.
But yes, should have been a gift each.
My dh always got our 2 kinder eggs.

I remember years ago posting how my husband hadn't rung me at lunch time for only the first or second time ever. I was a SAHM with our three children. I was just having a chat. The replies I got were not dissimilar to these.

If you think it is ridiculous for your husband to ring you at lunch that is fine but don't bitch about someone else who likes that her husband rings and who wants to ring his wife.

It has zero impact on your relationship. Unless it's making you think..

How is three texts a day too much? That is ridiculous. When my DH goes away we have several dozen a day. Some just chatting, some about the kids, some about admin etc.

One toy is pretty rubbish.

The fact he floated the idea, you responded, and he deliberately went against what you said 🫠 its like when people make a shit cup of tea on purpose

AND you even sent him pictures to remind him how many children he has 😂

A nightly call is all i would expect, 3 texts a day seems a lot to me too. But thoughtless expecting kids to share - sweets would have been preferable

20 times a day!!! How do you have time to get any work done? Sorry but this is madness to me. I love my DH but when we’re working we’re working apart from the odd random/emergency text.

• Yup. If im away on business my husband would not feel the need to text me as much as you do. Nor would i want him to. Im on business. Im in business mode I would find that irritating in my working day

But yes a toy each... madness!
Alternate days is the only way*

"As much as you do" What? 3 texts in a day? We text more than that before we even get to work

What a mean man - surely he could have worked out that it would be right to bring them something each? Not only right but blindingly obvious!

Also three texts a day is NOT a lot when you're the mother to and looking after his flesh and blood

I don't really understand why kids need a gift because he's been away with work? He's not been on holiday - he's likely just been in conference rooms that look just the same as the ones at home. My kids have way too much stuff; the last thing I want to do is add to it!