To be irritated that my dh couldn’t just buy the kids a souvenir each

[Shitvenir]

Instead of a random plush to share?

He’s been away with work for a week. One FaceTime in all that time. Most of my text’s unanswered (I only sent 3 a day tops). It wasn’t his idea to bring something back for them, I suggested it might be nice so they knew he was thinking of them. A bag of sweets they wouldn’t get at home or something small, even a bloody pen each surely would be nicer than a stuffed animal that neither of them can have in their bed without the other being upset? I just wanted him to be a bit thoughtful.

Also I didn’t ask for those 🤣

@Shitvenir I think Snowy the dog should live in prime view on top of your mantleplace or similar.
He should become the family mascot and catchphrase for doing daft things.
"Oops I've done a Snowy" or "Well that was a Snowy moment" etc.
(My family one is "doing a mum" if you nearly fall out a car...... don't ask😂)

😂

I don’t think op said he was a thoughtless father. Did she?

In my household everything your DH did was totally fine, wouldn't balk at any of it and if it were me going away DH I also wouldn't be calling home often or bringing gifts. The point is it's obviously not okay for you so I guess an opportunity to discuss expectations, grow as a team and hopefully do better next time?

Having one’s phone bleat repeatedly with incoming messages during professional work time would generally be deemed to be inappropriate. Many phones will be silenced during the day.

Yes, your professional of average intelligence will have their phone silenced, they'll also have left visual notifications on and be checking for messages during breaks. Being professional and all, they'd still need to keep on top of work issues while in a conference.

Have you been to a work conference lately? Absolutely everyone has the phone out and/or the laptop open at every possible opportunity.

I don't think 3 texts a day is needy at all, and as for bringing back presents he should want to do this for HIS children!
Ahhh men, sometimes common sense ain't so common!

He did once buy me a gift before our daughter was born, a pot duck whilst on a business trip to Argentina 🤣 I’ve still got it, whenever I dust it I think “WHY”!! 🙄He then told family members I like collecting duck ornaments, and yes they buy them for my bloody birthdays, I didn’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t like it.

Mumsnet seems to think he is.

This was discussed up thread - the cost is relevant. When you travel for work, you usually aren't perusing local markets. You see conference rooms and airports and that's it. Airports are crazy overpriced. You can't just "buy a little thing" unless you want to spend twenty pounds on key rings, or just buy sugary stuff.

But why should he have to want to bring home presents just because he's been away? If he wants to, fine, but he doesn't have to. It's not a birthday. Normalising having to buy stuff just because of a work trip is just rampant consumerism.

But not all business travel is the same?! I nearly always have time for "perusing local markets" when I travel for work. I don't know why people are so insistent that all business travel involves being locked in meetings from dawn til dusk.

And it all depends on the frequency. If I travelled once a month I probably wouldn't bring DCs home anything regularly. But I go once or twice a year, so I do try and bring back some sort of souvenir.

Again I suspect quite a few posters are imagining what business travel must be like, perhaps based on some exaggerated accounts from their spouses, rather than having actual experience.

Or perhaps their experience is from a long time ago, before smartphones took over society and everyone is glued to them 24/7 regardless of what else they're meant to be doing.

No, this is what business travel is like for me, currently taking several trips a year.

It's not a holiday, and it's annoying when people assume it is. It can be enjoyable, but it's very busy, and very tiring. Not much time for smartphones, either. I mean, yes, I text my family, but I'm either in meetings or talking to people. Even mealtimes are spent talking to colleagues that I rarely see face to face.

Then you weren't one of the 'quite a few' I was referring to?!
My goodness, you'd argue with a lamp post.

The issue is that OP is creating an expectation that her partner brings something home. And multiple posters have implied that her partner is inconsiderate for not being original with buying something for the kids.

I think that the OBLIGATION of buying stuff just because you are travelling is an outdated tradition, and is wasteful and bad for the environment.

And some of us are locked in meeting rooms from dawn to dusk on some trips. There are trips for me which go airport-meeting- restaurant-hotel-meeting-airport.

Well, you replied to a conversation that I was in, implying that "business travel isn't like that these days". I can tell you from first hand experience that the business travel I've experienced is still "like that".

Haha I’m maternity too and sent DH three messages about wallpaper and media walls. He’s sat in the office directly above me 😂

To be honest, it's not easy being away. He will no doubt have had lots to juggle and its easy to forget when he's arranging multiple nights out with colleagues, the drugs, the party girls etc...etc... plus... give the lad time to enjoy the peace and quiet of not having to listen to you all day!
And by the way, sweets are bad for children's teeth 😜

How often does he go away? And for how long? If he's a way for the whole week- I agree- a week packet of something from a convenience store because it looks different isn't really too much of an expectation- the faux indignation that the poor man is doing absolutely nothing except work 24/7 is bollocks- he has time, he won't make the time to aknowledge his kids when he's away which is shit.

The issue isn't "acknowledging his kids" the issue is "why should we need to buy meaningless junk in order to acknowledge the kids"

@LostTheMarble

I'm sure you didn't really mean it when you said you and your husband make "polite" smalltalk.

Surely that's reserved for some lady you recognise from your street when you find yourself queuing with them in the post office?

If you read my post correctly, you’d notice I said when speaking to my ex not my husband. ‘Polite small talk’ is what keeps things amicable rather than still speak like he is my life partner.

@LostTheMarble

Ash, missed that. That would definitely explain it!