To be irritated that my dh couldn’t just buy the kids a souvenir each

[Shitvenir]

Instead of a random plush to share?

He’s been away with work for a week. One FaceTime in all that time. Most of my text’s unanswered (I only sent 3 a day tops). It wasn’t his idea to bring something back for them, I suggested it might be nice so they knew he was thinking of them. A bag of sweets they wouldn’t get at home or something small, even a bloody pen each surely would be nicer than a stuffed animal that neither of them can have in their bed without the other being upset? I just wanted him to be a bit thoughtful.

Really? Dh and I text probably about 8x a day, he will message to ask about baby dd, if he needs to pick up anything on the way home. If he's away, he will video call at night to say goodnight to us, and he most definitely will bring back something for each dc and myself.
I would think that's pretty normal not needy.

Gosh 3 texts a day is needy?? Me and DP must be incredibly needy then, when he's away he will facetime at least once a day and several messages.
I couldn't imagine him ignoring messages though, that would be concerning

I normally bring something back for the kids - I just hit a shop and get some foreign sweets, or if there's no time, I find something or other at the airport.

And I don't have a partner, but I'll call the kids every day, and text them a few more times (they only text me when they need a password or something though ; ) )

lol my husband is away that much is resorted to bringing my kids a mini can of coke from the plane back each 😂 kids love it to be fair.

how the hell do you share a cuddly toy- it’s not like a game or Lego that you can do together.

Because it was 20 quid 😂

The number of texts is neither here nor there. Horses for courses and all that, but 1 toy to share?? What was he thinking?

I used to travel a lot for work. DH asked that I didn't bring things back for DC every time. If I was somewhere really different from the normal trips then I might but not if I was visiting a soap powder factory in Bremmen!

I also didn't speak with DCs while I was away. It was less disruptive for them.

Buying 1 toy to share is totally thoughtless.

Having said that, DH travels loads and never buys any of us anything! (Except when he went to the UK I'd sometimes ask him to buy marmite 😁).

He was in China last month and sent me a photo of a soft toy that he'd been given, asking if it was worth finding space in his suitcase to bring home. I said no thank you but he could offer it to someone else on the trip in case they have 2 DC and to avoid jealousy problems!

That's poor and he's a twat.

No gift is better than a shared stuffed toy.
I wouldn’t be impressed by the unanswered texts either.

You don’t stop being a parent or partner when you go away.

Toy for reference!

3 texts a day is ridiculous - the poor guy is trying to work! And why should children get presents everyntime he goes away?

Hilarious. They were sent morning and evening, not during the working day. But sure.

3 texts a day really isn't alot. DP and I messaged loads whe. He was working away and he videocalled in the evening before going out for drinks with the lads.

Buying a cuddly toy to share is stupid af. Really not hard to buy them a pack of sweets each. Almost feels like he deliberately fucked it up so he wouldn't have to bother again.

I don't know why some posters are trying to make you feel bad about 3 texts a day. My DH and I exchange more than 3 before the morning is out on a normal day.

He must have VERY busy.

DH works away fairly frequently. We usually get a quick phone call most days but not every day and it’s not expected. Work trips are hectic.

We wouldn’t expect gifts unless it’s a destination with some cultural differences or quite traditional gifts (we have toy pandas from China and Bulgarian delight from, well, Bulgaria). I don’t understand a plush toy to share, though. That’s a bit tight.

Thank you.

The toy is a bit thoughtless but I’d be more worried about why he didn’t respond to your messages, did he say why?

On the fence a bit here. I've travelled abroad with work quite a lot. It depends on the trip as to how much I'm in contact and how good the dcs gifts are. One trip in particular I was on the clock literally 7am -10pm every day. I had to send quick texts while I went to the loo so they'd not think I'd died 😅 most trips thru get decent gifts but I can think of one where there was zero opportunity at the location and the airport shopping was almost non existent. They ended up with a hugely overpriced box of chocolates because it was the only remotely suitable option.

You were ott re 3 contacts, dh is working, it's full on abroad but yes one of something each per child or nothing. If anything like my bil no time to sleep and certainly no time to buy anything so nothing he ok.

When DH was on business trips he never went anywhere near the centre of town, or anywhere he could go souvenir shopping, he was always stuck out in the industrial zones and usual working long hours.

He always called every evening though, or let me know if he couldn’t.

The gift thing wouldn’t worry me, the lack of communication maybe - depends how hard he was working.

Oops if 3 messages are too much maybe I better not admit to there being at least a 0 missing from that number from ours when in separate countries

He couldn't bloody splurge for tin tin too!? It shows a fundamental lack of understanding of children never mind his actual children. No one shares a bloody stuffie!

3 texts a day being OTT and overbearing and what not is absolutely hilarious and the height of MN sanctimoniousness.

Maybe some posters don't have a lot to talk about or don't like their partners very much or their relationships are crap.

Jesus, 3 text a day (at most) over a week to your husband, your life partner, the person you will supposedly share your whole life with, is too much? Mumsnet is insanity at times, I probably average more than that a week to my ex about our children, never mind polite small talk (and he’s not exactly my first port of call for a conversation).

OP, you’re not unreasonable. That was thoughtless as in he did not use common sense and shouldn’t have been told to bring a trinket back to start with.