To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

I think it was always a privilege. I think many women would stay home and have their own lives if they could.

House prices should definitely be based on one salary I believe

It's not anti feminist to make that choice and you don't have to work. The problem is that choice is so expensive only some families are able to divide labour in that way.

I’d only agree if you changed your stance to ‘I wish one person per couple didn’t have to work’. It’s totally fine to have one person staying at home looking after the children/domestic responsibilities etc. It’s not for DH and I (we both like our careers and we can’t afford it) but I understand why it works for some couples. But why does it have to be the woman by default?

I wish I could stay home AND have a load of servants. And a nanny 😂
I was born in the wrong century (and wrong social class).

I would not want to live in a time where it was expected that women would not work, I enjoy having a career.

However, I do wish we lived in a time where the average wage would cover the household bills. Most people we know have 2 full time incomes and do not have much left over after bills and essentials, a better work life balance is needed for men and women.

I like working but wish I had a few years with my tiny children instead of having to leave them. But we can't afford it. Settling my baby in nursery right now is heartbreaking and it feels so wrong. She's meant to be with me, but I don't have a choice. I have to leave her with people who couldn't care less as I need to pay the mortgage

My mother and both of my grandmothers worked; one wage didn’t pay all the bills.
My father often had a second job as well, doing farm work when not on shift.
Not needing to work has always been a privilege.

Only if you were rich and had a husband.

All the women in my family, going back three generations, worked. Single mums all over as well. Working their fingers to the bone.

And being a SAHM wasn't as nice when you had to wash everything by hand and everything was harder. No hoover, no washing machine, no heat in my grandmother's house, just a coal fire in one room.

No thanks, I'll go to work and sit on my arse.

Poor women have always worked.

I would hate to be in an unequal marriage

But for a very short decade it was always a very privileged position. Women in farming, cleaning, domestic and household staff. The Industrial Revolution was built on women in factories etc etc. At least now women have a crack at a greater selection of jobs and with equal
pay.

Nothing wrong with wanting to be a f/t mother and housewife though, if you can cut your cloth to manage it.

No. I'm glad I work. My husband of 25 years has left me, completely out of the blue. I would be screwed if I didn't have my income.

Maybe you should get a job as a cook/cleaner, op? 😂

You'd need to have been born rich.

As pp have said, poor women have always worked. There's only a fairly short period in history, maybe from the Victorian period until the 1990s when some (not many) women didn't work at any point in their lives.

I think it came with so many inequalities, that it was in fact not great at all for women

My mum, both my nans, my great nans etc never had the luxury of giving up work and staying at home. They always had to work too.

No thanks.

It's not anti feminist to wish that women had the choice to live as they want and realistically there's so much that gets in the way of us feeling like we can do both well simultaneously. It's anti feminist to wish you lived in a time where NO women had the option.

I love ds more than anything but truthfully it's easier being in work and I do feel like ds has more experiences in nursery and is developing much faster through nursery than he would be if he was with me every day (don't get me wrong I'm a very invested parent and I do a lot to encourage his learning and development but the difference in his confidence and development since starting nursery is very clear). I love my job and I'm good at it and well trained and in an ideal world I'd be part time to allow myself a better balance for both. But I can't afford that due to childcare costs and lack of local support networks. Things are too expensive now considering that wages haven't increased accordingly and it as always, has a heavier impact on women.

Feminism is about equity for women. It's not anti feminist to not want to do paid work outside the home.

The feminist bit would be wanting society to value what stay at home mums do, by recognising it is also work and valuable work at that.

I'm pretty sure everyone (or almost everyone) thinks like that. Think of lottery winners - the first thing almost all of them do is quit their jobs!

Don't forget the trade off that happened back in the day. Women had almost no rights, were second class citizens 'owned' by their husbands, marital rape was legal, beating was common, scratching around for money where the husband would piss it away in the pub on payday... Plus no washing machines, fridges (my mum was 9 when they first got a fridge and she's in her 60s) so the housewife day was literally spend slaving over jobs that take us much less time now and going to multiple small shops and running errands. It was a high price to pay. You basically want to be a lady who lunches OP, not a housewife in the 50s just because houses were cheaper and one wage paid the bills!

I’m a SAHM now with a preschooler and a baby. It’s nice to not have the pressure of my previous job. I guess your post has made me realise I need to be a bit more grateful

It would drive me up the wall to be honest, but each to their own.

I would love to be a stay at home mum, I hate working. Completely with you OP.

Years ago there wasn’t options for women to work and now it’s completely flipped, very little options for stay at home mothers due to COL.

I loved being at home with my dc and dhs wage covered everything but as soon as the youngest was off to school i was desperate to get back to work!
I still enjoy working now but I’ll never regret the time I spent with the dc when they were small. I think it’s an outrage that more families can’t earn a decent wage to cover extortionate mortgages and energy bills to afford one parent to stay home if they want to.
But I am glad I work now!