To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

So much better when husbands could abuse at will without any real fear of women leaving because they had absolutely no way of supporting themselves or their children.

would it be better if households could run on one salary? Absolutely. But let’s wish for a system where couples take turns being the SAHP so women aren’t in so much danger. We can’t get away from being tied to gestation and lactation, but socially, we could make young childhood the years of male parenting.

Imagine all those Dad’s dropping off their kids at the school gate then going home to cook and clean. Picking up the kids and helping them with homework. Being available to cover sick days and summer holidays.

Because the woman is disadvantaged by having to take time off work due to pregnancy and breastfeeding and their career is likely to be adversely impacted by this. This means the man is in a better position to progress his career and maximise family income.

Having said that, I enjoy the independence that working and having my own money brings and would not choose to be a housewife.

No you aren't .! You are married so half of everything is yours !! If it's not you need a different lawyer ...

I love my career it will be with me long after my children flee the nest.
I'm lucky but I would hate to not work.

Statically, women don't like it when their partner earns less or SAH.

Can I just point out to all the women who believe it was a such relaxing time for women of 'Phossy jaw' for poor women who had no choice to go out to work or work at home producing matches because they were so skint .

“I enjoy cooking and cleaning.”

You may do. I find it dull as fuck and so did plenty of intelligent women wasting their lives and talents in domestic and maternal slavery in the 50s and 60s. That’s where the 70s feminist movement was born.

You may wish to be a Stepford Wife throwback but don’t drag us all down.

What about if 1 wage could pay the bills, regardless if it’s the mum or the dad?

My husband would have loved to be at home doing all things domestic. I did take a career break until ours were both at school, but I was desperate to get back to work. Cooking and cleaning every day would bore the shit out of me, but I do think it’s a blessing if one of a couple can be a SAHP in the early years.

I was fortunate enough to stay at home when my children were born, and until the youngest one was 14. Our mortgage was based only on my husband's wage, and it was a real struggle to afford to pay all the bills. However, we didn't have -

broadband (no computer in those days)
mobile 'phones (the same)
a car
foreign holidays
meals/coffee etc out
any time away from the children at all (not one evening out at all)
babysitters/nursery, until the eldest went to a nursery attached to a school, 3 afternoons a week

Neither did we have Universal Credit, help with any bills or food shopping

YANBU to wish that you didn't have to work outside the home if that is what you want, but YABVVU to assume that that's desirable for all, or probably most, women.

I'm a wannabe trad wife but in reality right now we need the extra my part time wage brings in. I keep thinking when my youngest is in full time education I'll up my days but as littlest is only 12 weeks old I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my husband will get a hefty pay rise in that time.

It's fine to want the right to choose. But the thought of spending my life just cooking and cleaning makes me want to chop off my own arm!
Although there was perhaps something to be said for a wealthy upper class where women neither did paid work nor did domestic chores..... just travel, The Season, cultural activities, jolly lunches..... now you're talking 🤣

It’s very different when it is a choice, it was quite something else when you had no alternative. My mum was forced to stop work when she was pregnant with me, the bank she worked for wouldn’t let her return.

My mum wanted to work in a laboratory, but she never got the opportunity.

I work slightly part time which is hard financially but I prefer the balance. But I have choices. Yes it would be better if we didn’t need 2 incomes to survive but I wouldn’t want to live in my mum’s era and be told what I can do.

I’m so sorry, hope you’re coping okay.

Not everybody sees their life purpose as sitting in a cubicle at work. I'm slightly jealous of the women who get to pursue their interests every day without restriction tbh.

Granted, I'd rather not have to rely on somebody else's hard work to do that, but spending every single year until I'm elderly at work is a depressing thought tbh. It's sad that so many women have been brainwashed into seeing it as a privilege. I think most men have always done it as a means to make £££ rather than for life affirmation.

This

I was a SAHM for many years and loved it. We never went short financially as DH had a good job. Kids are now 12,14 and 16 and I only went back to work three days a week in a term time position. I don't need to work though. I actually have more savings than DH and I've two pensions. DH valued me being at home so he paid all the bills and mortgage and I got wages of 200 euro a week for myself. DH still insists I take 200 euro a week now even though I'm back working.

If you feel so heartbroken and wrong leaving her and feel like she is with people who couldn't care less, I think you need to look at a different childcare provider? And maybe work part time and top up with Universal Credit if needed?
We have always been fairly low earners but I was a SAHM with DD1 for first couple of years which wasn't financially easy but got through it.With DD2 I felt more confident to leave her in good care of our lovely Childminder, and I didn't want to give up work 2nd time as they wouldn't have taken me back again.
I only work half the week though and it's a nice balance.UC is a godsend as it tops us up and pays alot of our childcare.

My grandmother was a working class woman who had to work as a cleaner to pay the bills. This was in the 40s and her husband worked full time too. I think working class women have always worked. In fact they probably worked much longer hours in the past and in very poor conditions. Things are better these days.

Having one person at home in the day is a huge difference to life. Evenings are about dinner, eating, talking, chilling, instead of squeezing it all in a few hours!
I wish families could live on one salary...

This has absolutely nothing to do with the period you were born in - more of a wrong social class. Plenty of women don't work full time boring jobs and are fully supported by their husbands. But they all have one thing in common: they are wealthy (husbands are wealthy or they came from a wealthy family)/ upper class/ etc. These women also have "help" so don't really occupy themselves much with cleaning, cooking or childcare.

But, you will be disappointed to know they still do some "work" - either something they do as a hobby, or something to help their husbands, or simply something they find fun. If you look at how wealthy Victorian women lived - a lot of them used to do useless hobbies, did charity work, anything. Sitting at home doing nothing might be fun for a year or two but, ultimately, its soul destroying and is a sure way to lose any respect your partner had for you.

I, for one, am super pleased I can work and support myself, I live my life without any restriction and and I don't have to be a "poor spinster" or a governess just because I did not marry. Or even worse - get thrown out of "polite society" for having a kid out of wedlock and wanting to do "man's profession".

😂🤣

Eh, I earned bachelor’s, masters, doctorate whilst working part time, and then worked hard full time for 30 years to pay off educational expenses and then the mortgage. No children. The academic career used to be fine, until it wasn’t with the increasing implosion of UK higher ed. So, when I could take a severance package, I jumped at it and retired. DH still works because he enjoys it. I’m more than happy to stay at home and potter, do a bit of domestics, and miss work not one whit. There were a few years where I was the main breadwinner whilst DH took a career break, so I figure the arrangement is equitable. I have come to the conclusion that busting your gut to earn a wage for 30-40 years is overrated for sure, regardless of your gender.

And a lot of not poor women, actually

Haha nope, not a chance. Abu.

That’s how you feel, what makes you think you speak for all 4 billion women in the world??

Read the Feminine Mystique - being a sahm in the 50s sent plenty of women round the twist, not much to feel nostalgic for if you ask me.