To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

I'm totally with you on this. I have a good career but I bloody hate spending the bulb of my be well at work, with only 2 days to fit everything else in.

I'd happily spend my days at home keeping the domestic side of things going.

I am old and had ds in 1994, the last of a few generations of women who could stay at home if they wished.

I was able to have 7 years at home with dc until dd was settled in reception. However, only because I spent the previous 15 years working 12 hour days in the City before having dc1 at 35 and met dh relatively late. When we married I had my own house and it was my start that got us a position where one of us, me, could stay at home.

21 years ago I went back to work but happily it was a choice. Now looking forward to retirement in 15 months and spending quality time at home again. The biggest benefit of working for women, with hindsight is the financial independence and freedom of an occupational pension.

My mother and grandmother worked, not in traditional career. Grannie ran the farm and mother was largely self employed.

Working class women have always worked , often in menial jobs that fit around the children and the menz

Not an unfeminist notion because I don't think not wanting to work is a uniquely female trait. I'm sure plenty of men would rather not go to work either!

I only know one SAHM, and they're minted. Most of my friends work three or four days a week, or run their own business and work part-time around school hours. Or they work full time. All primary or pre-school age children.

I feel like work is a break from the relentlessness and drudgery of home life tbh! I need the routine of work at least some days. I do agree that it would be better if one wage paid the mortgage and bills so families could have more choices though. And there’s nothing wrong with a person, male or female wanting to stay home and look after house and DC as their ideal.

For me it would be the stuff of nightmares. I agree one salary should be enough for a family though - as long as that didn’t mean ‘breadwinners’ ended up earning more than single people or being prioritised for jobs.

That was me for 5 yrs until ds went to school.It was boring tbh.I work part time now which means I'm contributing and I feel better about that.

I personally find having a career a lot more fulfilling and satisfying than staying at home (have done both - a career and SAHM with cleaner and nanny).

Being a stay at home mum and housewife would be my idea of my worst nightmare

I totally get it, especially if you are in a relationship where all of the domestic and childcare responsibilities fall on you.

I work part time and literally have no money left over after essentials, but there are no full-time jobs locally in my field. Everything is about an hour away but I don’t want to put DS into wraparound care from 7.30 am until 6pm and then in holiday clubs for such long days. I want to spend those hours with him, even if it means being skint.

I’m a SAHM. I’m very thankful to have the opportunity whilst the children are little. Honestly though, it can get really boring and isolating. I can see why some women in the 50s were driven mad by it. I truly can.

This!!

Sometime I think back to the times I didn’t work when my dc were very small like a golden era, I remember just strolling around pushing a pram all day, never in much of a rush, healthy meals prepared every day, house was clean but unfortunately I think that’s my rose tinted specs.

My ex didn’t want me to to work and refused to facilitate it or contribute to childcare. I ended up doing a degree just so I could use the crèche at uni and massively pissed my ex off in the process, our relationship didn’t survive it! I was so desperate for a challenge and a purpose while I was stuck at home and I couldn’t have spent my entire life like that, I would have always felt like I’d wasted it!

My wife lives the lifestyle you have described (somewhat)...though she works, but that's her personal choice. I have often said to her that she doesn't need to as I take care of everything, but because she enjoys it so continues to work. It's kind of sad that the society has come to this where both people have to work to barely survive.

I think you need to remember that being a sahm then was often a necessity.
No supermarkets, shopping was taking the bus to the town centre and visiting lots of different shops. No microwave or ready meals so lots of cooking. Work was often closer to home as so few had cars so lots of husbands would be back for lunch.
No washing machine so lots of washing and drying. (I still remember grans boiler and mangle). If you had a baby lots of Terry nappies so lots of boil washes.
Coal fires needed to be cleaned and prepped a dirty job. Carpets often taken outside and beaten rather than vacuumed.

It was hard unrelenting work.

It has always been the case that working class people needed two incomes to survive.

The new bit is that now middle class people do as well,

Surely it would be better it no one had to work, not just women?

But its classic feminist to want to have your cake and eat it.

I was a SAHM for nearly 15 years and loved every moment, especially when the youngest went to school. It was nearly impossible to find work that fitted in between school hours and with a child with SEN who was struggling at school and seemed to be sent home an awful lot. DH loved it too. The only issue I had was going back to work and him learning that it was no longer my sole job to keep the house running. I'm now 53, working full time and bloody hate it.

Being entirely dependent on a man? Not doing anything intellectually stimulating? No thanks!

I was a SAHM as were my own mum and my grandmothers. We were not wealthy, but yes, we could afford to pay the mortgage and bills on one wage. It gave us choices that so many don't have now.
I was also lucky in that ne other aspect of my life though, I had a mum who cherished her role as a 'housewife' and genuinely loved it. And I also had a dad who lived and respected my mum, and who was a brilliant father a that is what I think is also missing so much in todays society. Two parents pulling together and happy in their roles.
Personally. I was at my happiest once the kids were a little older and I was working part time in a job I loved. Eventually I started my own business and it pays the bills, no more, but I'm so glad I was there for my kids when they were babies and really young. I'm all about life/work balance and money doesn't really motivate me. I'd rather have less in material possessions, than work full time.

I’m 59 ….my mum worked full time til she was 64 as a typist….my Nan worked full time as a seamstress til she was 60….those women with little money, have always had to work full time

It is a weird take OP as it relies on another human to support you (indefinitely?). It is so strange when divorce rates are so high that the whole trad wife thing is taking off in certain circles. I can see the trad wife thing working with a trad husband, but people change their minds (a lot) or die or get sick or just have expectations that the other independent human doesn't want to meet. Just sounds miserable, uncertain and a bad idea.

I always wanted to be a SAHM. I saw my teaching career as a hobby to pass the time until I had children of my own. I really enjoyed it, but I would hate to be forced to put my children into full time nursery, rather than be with them myself. I’m very fortunate that I will not need to work again, but I intend on having at least 4 children, so there’s no chance of me getting bored!

Speak for yourself. I have no desire to be a housewife. Relying on a man for money would make me feel so degraded, I don't view it as a privilege at all. (NOT slating others who are SAHP but this is just how I personally feel about it).