To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

There really haven't been these great chunks of the human experience like this.

Women would always have worked. You might like cooking and cleaning with an induction hob & a dyson, you might not have liked it much when it involved urine in washing clothes by hand, kneading dough by hand, spinning yarn & weaving coarse cloth, farm labour, brewing, helping in a family business or trade

I wish I was born rich. Poor women have always worked - my grandmothers worked in a factory and a shop once their children were at school.

I don't like cooking or cleaning, dull beyond belief. I don't particularly like small children either. If I could spend my days pottering, gardening, shopping, reading and travelling, that would be ideal 😁

My Grandmother was born in 1914 and worked. Which decade is it you wish you were born in?

Feminism has always been about upper middle class women in wealthy countries like Britain wanting to have their cake and eat it.

It has never been about advancing opportunities for women from lower social classes and definitely not those from the developing world.

As a pregnant woman, currently in absolute agony with PGP, and my family's main breadwinner, I definitely agree it's shit. I never felt this way before. But now I suddenly have to cope with a horrible pregnancy, while performing at work and having all bills depend on me, I feel like I was sold a lie. I am crumbling in the attempt to have a high powered career and a family.

Men get to just work and be congratulated for being fathers. I get to work and have to hide what a disgustingly horrible time I am having.

But life's not fair, it never was. I actually wouldn't want to live in a time when I had no choice over my future and was 100% dependent on a man.

I can’t think of any couples with kids I know that they both work full time. Yes usually it is the mum who doesn’t, or she works part time (usually when kids are a bit older). Nearly everyone I know the mum stayed at home when the kids were before school age. So I don’t think it is that unusual what you are saying…

I was a sahm for 14 years, until my youngest was 10. And it was great. I'm retired now. And that's great too.

I think it's important that women have a choice.
I want to work, I enjoy my job and financial independence. I'm pleased I have that option.

I can’t think of any couples with kids I know that they both work full time. Yes usually it is the mum who doesn’t, or she works part time (usually when kids are a bit older). Nearly everyone I know the mum stayed at home when the kids were before school age. So I don’t think it is that unusual what you are saying…

Whereas I hardly know any SAHMs. Most women I know work and a significant proportion work full time.
🤷🏼‍♀️

It has never been about advancing opportunities for women from lower social classes and definitely not those from the developing world.

I'd argue feminism is essential for sustainable development. Educate women, empower them, give them choices, the whole world gets better. Do the same for men and men get more.

Something simple like DD getting Kiva credits for Christmas and giving them to women-owned businesses in the majority world is a way to make a difference. We can and should make our feminism about all women. And those in the majority world are by-and-large the most in need.

This is a self-selecting cohort. I've met most of my female friends through work. So they work. PP may have met hers through groups and hobbies in work hours, so they don't.

Well all my working class ancestors worked but had shit pay compared to the men so were still financially dependent. I know my grandma sufferers domestic violence and couldn't leave.

No
I have too much self respect not to work and could never be dependent

When does the woman's day end though? The man finishes at 5pm for example gets home then she's waiting on him and the kids after doing house work etc all day. And that's acceptable because he " works " all day

I think it would be nice to have the choice. It feels like that choice is no longer there for the vast majority of families which is a shame. That said I'm glad I was born in the era where women were expected to be at home. It would drive me crazy not to work.

I love being a sahm. My circumstances to most would look awful and I think a lot of people pity me but I’m actually really happy. I have ASD and multiple MH difficulties which make it impossible for me to work . My specific circumstances since having dc now mean that I never have to and it’s honestly a weight off my shoulders

This is a self-selecting cohort. I've met most of my female friends through work. So they work. PP may have met hers through groups and hobbies in work hours, so they don't.

Exactly.

No thanks.

I think it's easy to look back through rose tinted glasses but the reality was much worse for women back then.

Women have always worked.

One of my grandmothers went to work in a factory at 14, and worked until her arthritis was so bad she had no choice but to retire.

The other went into service in a "big house" at 14, then worked as a housemaid in various hotels.

What you wish - and I have sympathy with this - is that you were so rich that you didn't have to work. Don't we all!

That's a really interesting view

My wife doesn't work, but it feels much more unequal to me, I work 60 to 70 hours per week, sacrifice time with the family, leisure time with friends, and even holidays.

My wife raises our kids which is far far more important than my stressful but well paid job.

We agree that we have an equally burden, I work hard, she works equally hard on housework and running around after the kids. We only have one bank account.

Fwiw my other half is far smarter than I am, better qualified (she has a PhD) and much more nurturing.

If anything I feel the current work life balance is more unequal in her favour. Not sure why equality is based solely on going to work?

I had 7 years off work when my kids were little . We had so much fun always out doing things then i went back part time for a few years . Im now working 7 days a week split shifts because things have got so unaffordable..
im privileged i had the 7 years but it put us back financially that we are still recovering from , worst part is the kids dont even remember most of it and now when they need me im always at work 😢

Oh god this. I’m so Lady Mary from Downton I can’t even .

I wish part time working could provide a decent standard of living, it's 2024 we should be able to enjoy life by now and not need to have 2 full time workers in a household to just scrape by.

I would never want to go back in time though op, history wasn't kind to women.

Yes but my new boyfriend is semi retired and only 53. I would love to have 20 years off!!

My grandma born in 1911 worked from the age of 15 in a soap factory then in a clothing factory My DM born in 1941 worked as a clothes machinist then as a pattern cutter. When they had their dcs they worked at home sewing and embroidering clothes and were paid piecemeal. They drummed it into me never to be reliant on my partner financially and to always have the skills to be able to earn my own money. When the dcs were small I always worked but part time. When my dh lost his job I was able to go back full time and keep the wolves from the door. I passed the same advice onto my dds.