To think my best friend is taking the piss

[Findingthisweekhard]

Me best friends daughter and dd are in the same year at the same school. I have older and younger children too and she also has a 1 year old. She’s got a 1 year old and has recently gone back to work full time, her husband also works full time.
She has no formal childcare. She was due to use the same childminder as me but changed her mind last minute as they didn’t want to pay for it.
Now almost weekly she’s asking me to pick up her school age dd and have her after school until she finishes work. Last week I had a day annual leave with my young kids at the childminder as some much needed down time, the night before she messaged begging me to have her little one for the day as she had no other options and had to go in to the office (she does twice a week). I reluctantly agreed and it was awful. My chilled day wondering the shops and lunch with my sister turned in to me rocking a buggy for hours, eating my lunch stood up bouncing him and just generally miserable.
shes just messaged me again asking to do the school run and it’s given me absolute rage.
ive dropped my hours to part time and pay for wrap around childcare on my office days and a childminder for all my working hours so we have less disposable income but live within our means. She’s taking advantage of this, to their benefit of 2 full time salaries and no childcare costs.
she really is my best friend but this can’t go on, aibu to stop collecting her child from school when I’m there collecting mine anyway?

I like your message OP. Polite and friendly, while also letting her know the party's over! I hope everything goes ok and that she acknowledges just how much you've been doing for her.

As long as keep doing it she will keep asking.

Very good message. Firm but fair, now you just need to be resolute in your not helping her out.

Amazing job, OP. Really great, clear message.

Well done OP. Excellent, clear message while still saying you value your friendship. Hope she responds well - but if she doesn't and takes the hump, well, she doesn't value your friendship in the same way you do. Fingers crossed she responds reasonably to it

Super clear message.
That she would use you the way she did and you have twins, is quite extraordinary.
Protect yourself OP. You may share considerable history, but there is no way a good friend would behave like this.
Complete CF territory of the highest grade.

Good luck with that 😱

Great job! You remained firm but polite.

Well done on having firm boundaries! Hope she responds appropriately.

Honest and decent. I hope she responds well.

I thought your message was really well written and I hope you get a similarly respectful and reasonable reply

I'm riveted btw...I'm always impressed when people just do the adult, honest thing and be truthful. It's so rare, I find.

I’m very lucky to have 3 best friends close, all kids same age, same school. We help in each other in emergencies, we all have our own childcare sorted as we all kind of acknowledge how difficult it is having young kids and wouldn’t do that to each other.
tell her no

Whatever happens @Findingthisweekhard you didn’t pay £800 to mind someone else’s child. If she doesn’t get that then she doesn’t deserve you. But I really hope she sees sense and learns from this - we all make mistakes.

I hope it works out

Well done op for putting the reality of the situation to her, let’s hope she takes it well.

Very well said op!

You’re not being unreasonable, but you need to raise it NOW before you get angrier. You need to nip it before it damages your relationship.

ooh! Just seen what you sent - well done OP!

@Findingthisweekhard that's an excellent msg. polite but firm and clear.

any decent person receiving this should be absolutely ashamed and immediately apologise loads and insist on making it up to you

if she doesnt respond in this way, you should consider ending or phasing out of the friendship

Any reply OP?

But why in earth would you say yes when you have a day of leave planned? It's not difficult to say that you have plans with your sister, you can't bring a baby, and you can't cancel the plans at the last minute. There is no point grouching on here, but agreeing to ridiculous requests in real life. I'm not trying to be mean, ink ow it's hard because she's a close friend . . . but only you can help yourself here.

I hope I'm wrong and she apologises profusely and sorts her childcare issues out asap.

You did the mature thing OP.

I hope she responds accordingly.

Very good message OP! That must of taken a lot to send. Hope your friendship can move past this.