To think my best friend is taking the piss

[Findingthisweekhard]

Me best friends daughter and dd are in the same year at the same school. I have older and younger children too and she also has a 1 year old. She’s got a 1 year old and has recently gone back to work full time, her husband also works full time.
She has no formal childcare. She was due to use the same childminder as me but changed her mind last minute as they didn’t want to pay for it.
Now almost weekly she’s asking me to pick up her school age dd and have her after school until she finishes work. Last week I had a day annual leave with my young kids at the childminder as some much needed down time, the night before she messaged begging me to have her little one for the day as she had no other options and had to go in to the office (she does twice a week). I reluctantly agreed and it was awful. My chilled day wondering the shops and lunch with my sister turned in to me rocking a buggy for hours, eating my lunch stood up bouncing him and just generally miserable.
shes just messaged me again asking to do the school run and it’s given me absolute rage.
ive dropped my hours to part time and pay for wrap around childcare on my office days and a childminder for all my working hours so we have less disposable income but live within our means. She’s taking advantage of this, to their benefit of 2 full time salaries and no childcare costs.
she really is my best friend but this can’t go on, aibu to stop collecting her child from school when I’m there collecting mine anyway?

Good luck with the message! YADNBU at all, she's taking the piss.

If you can't tell your best friend that they are taking the piss then they aren't your best friend.

Tell her you feel used and taken for granted.

She's taken advantage of you and then some! Glad you are stopping it.

She's not really your friend.

She's using you.

Start saying no. Mean it. You haven't taken a pay cut to benefit her, it's to benefit you and your own children. Tell her she'll have to sort and pay for childcare like you did, as you won't be bailing her out going forward.

You'll quickly see that she was never your friend.

They are piss takers. People like this will ruin wfh opportunities for others.

This is an excellent message. You have to be honest with her. Stress that you can’t cope with her expectations. She is not being at all fair to you.

Well done. It's hard to say no but it gets much easier with practise.

This is probably what I'd say if I wanted to keep the friendship.

“this is a really awkward conversation but it needs to be said. I’m feeling a bit put out by all the help with x & y recently. I’ve taken a big pay cut to drop to part time to do some school runs and spend time with the kids, and we pay over £800 a month for the childminder for the twins for my work hours so I know they are well cared for, having fun and I can do my job properly. I do feel like you’ve taken advantage of my new routine and you’ve been a bit lapse with your childcare arrangements for x and y, relying on me to bail you out but it’s becoming a regular thing and I’m still really disappointed about my day off the other week when the twins were with the childminder but I had y for you and it was a total nightmare. I’m not going to be able to help anymore and I think it would be good for you and the kids to get in to a stable routine! Here’s the link to book afterschool club xxx. I’d be happy to book dd in for x’s first session so she has a familiar face. I’m sure if you speak to my childminder in the morning on the school run she can ask around to help you find a space for y. I know you’ll be disappointed but I really think we need a boundary to protect our friendship, we were friends for so many years before we had kids, let’s not let childcare be the reason for falling out xx”

holding breath waiting for a reply

That’s a good message op

Well done @Findingthisweekhard

Just seen this thread. That's a great message. Good for you for sending it. Don't back down when she replies.

Great reply 👏🏼

Well done, OP, you’ve explained well what the issue is and she needs to get her childcare properly sorted out.
You’re her friend, not her child minder!

Well done! Good luck, I hope she’s reasonable.

Who looks after your friend’s children when you and she are both working? Does she just work from home and look after them at the same time? ( I appreciate one is at school but after school etc). Or has she got another unpaid friend roped in as well. Either way what a cheek!

White lie, that way you keep the friendship.

Well done OP. Firm, clear, no wiggle room. Her reply will tell you a lot about how she values your friendship.

Such a good message OP. I hope you get a reasonably response.

Very nice clear message.

Hopefully she listens and apologies

Well done OP. Very clear and honest message. I hope she's OK about it.

They're both massively taking the mick out of you and their employers.
If their employers knew they had a baby at home whilst supposedly working, it would certainly be a case for HR.
I'm actually annoyed for you. Very very cheeky of them both

Also, just saw the txt you sent.
Well done!!!
She needs to apologise immediately!

That's a very clear message.
It needed to be said.
It may be her initial response is anger or defensiveness but hopefully she'll take a look at herself and realise you have a good point.