To think my best friend is taking the piss

[Findingthisweekhard]

Me best friends daughter and dd are in the same year at the same school. I have older and younger children too and she also has a 1 year old. She’s got a 1 year old and has recently gone back to work full time, her husband also works full time.
She has no formal childcare. She was due to use the same childminder as me but changed her mind last minute as they didn’t want to pay for it.
Now almost weekly she’s asking me to pick up her school age dd and have her after school until she finishes work. Last week I had a day annual leave with my young kids at the childminder as some much needed down time, the night before she messaged begging me to have her little one for the day as she had no other options and had to go in to the office (she does twice a week). I reluctantly agreed and it was awful. My chilled day wondering the shops and lunch with my sister turned in to me rocking a buggy for hours, eating my lunch stood up bouncing him and just generally miserable.
shes just messaged me again asking to do the school run and it’s given me absolute rage.
ive dropped my hours to part time and pay for wrap around childcare on my office days and a childminder for all my working hours so we have less disposable income but live within our means. She’s taking advantage of this, to their benefit of 2 full time salaries and no childcare costs.
she really is my best friend but this can’t go on, aibu to stop collecting her child from school when I’m there collecting mine anyway?

Agree. That was a very carefully judged response from someone who is a calculated user, whom doesn't have an ounce of respect for the OP.

Next up. You'll be offering to do childcare because it's just until September... Be ready for feeling like that.

I agree.

I also now understand why there are so many cf's out there and people getting away with all kinds of shit.

People are just too nice and trusting.

It will be interesting to see friend's response now that op has failed to comfort and reassure her and agree to carry on helping until 'september'.

i dont like sorry you feel like that its not an apolgy

work out how much it will cost to have a baby an factor it in dont dump your kids on soneone else

Have you heard from ‘friend’ since?

Yeah, I think people are right. It's the brazenness and selfishness of imposing on your day off when you had taken the day off work and so carefully planned and paid for childcare for your own kids for that day. It's just very self-absorbed on her part, and I bet she neither paid for the day's childcare for your older kids that you had paid for but didn't get to benefit from, nor paid for the childcare that you provided her, nor the day's work that you so uselessly missed. If she were truly sorry she would have made you whole by paying for ALL those things so you could replace the day with another, but the fact that she didn't, is probably because she actually isn't sorry. She just wants to keep you sweet so you'll keep doing her free childcare.

I think that posters here would pick apart and find fault with any response no matter what.

Personally, I think it's a good reply...much better than anticipated.

Learn to say 'No' as hard as it is you can't carry on doing this as it will, in the long run, affect your friendship with her. Explain that you understand she has childcare issues but she needs to sort a more permanent solution as you're not wanting to give up your days off or time with your own family after school looking after her kids. Tell her you now have plans to go out straight from the school run so picking her child up isn't possible anymore. When she asks about watching her little one while you're not at work tell her you have appointments all day & can't take children with you. Have excused ready before she asks so you're not put on the spot. hopefully she'll realise soon you're no longer going to be a push over & sort her own childcare out long term.

As I been in this exact situation, so I know how difficult it is, but ultimately, you need to stop doing this NOW. She will be counting all her money she has saved over the years and laughing all the way to the bank.
My friend took the p* on multiple occasions and seldom returned the favour in my hour of need - and when they did, if I dared to be 15 minutes late, I was greeted by a multitude of texts asking where I was!
They even had the audacity to send their child with no snacks, nappies, drinks and expected me to provide this too.
The nail in the coffin was when they expected me to pick up shopping because they hadn't the time to do it. I remember picking a small amount of provisions and never saw the money for it.
Even if she does fall out with you, it'll be a blinking relief to have this toxic person out of your life!