AIBU for thinking MIL has priorities wrong with her grandson ?

[blueyavocado]

I'm not keen on MIL baby sitting our 12 wk old son , but it's awkward as it's my partners mum and he wants her to play a role.

Me and MIL clearly have different parenting approaches , I respond to my baby sons cries or signals immediately and stop what I'm doing to attend to his needs. Whereas she said she would leave her boys to cry until she had finished what she had done.

Last week I had an appointment and she offered to watch baby for 30 mins. Before I left I encouraged her to sit on the sofa with snacks and have a good cuddle. When I got back 30 mins later he was in the Moses basket on the floor with a blanket dumped over him and she had been painting the back door!

This morning I had a pram to assemble so she offer to watch him fir 15 mins. He was in a playful mood and happily batting his toys on the mat as I made the pram. She cuddled him for 5 mins then took him upstairs to try and get him to nap. I went upstairs and found him in the bedside crib in a playful mood with a blanket chucked on him. She had gone to clean up what was already a clean kitchen. I explained that if he needs a nap to tuck his blankets.

AIBU to think she has her priorities wrong? Obviously things need cleaning but there's a time and a place and those precious baby cuddles won't be forever.

His grandad is completely different , he will happily sing to him and cuddle him

He's only 3 months old. It's unnecessary to keep getting her to look after him. You and your partner would be better doing it yourself. And she quite clearly has no actual interest in looking after him.

Why didn't you stop her when she took him 'upstairs for a nap'? What was she going to do lie down in your bed?!

When I got back 30 mins later he was in the Moses basket on the floor with a blanket dumped over him and she had been painting the back door!

Nothing wrong with that, she is probably of the generation who didn't feel the need to constantly carry their babies around or 'wear them', their babies were fed, changed and kept at a comfortable temperature when they were very small and they probably never developed 'attachment issues'.

To be honest I don’t get why you needed someone to watch the baby for 15 minutes whilst you sorted a pram. You sound a bit OTT to me.

Supervised naps. Jesus wept.

You need to take responsibility for yourself and your child. Act like a grown up. Get your baby out of that house where your MIL smokes indoors. Do your own childcare.

Ah well. I was under the impression they now talk about safe co sleeping in hospital before discharge these days. Certainly better than it used to be.

I gave birth in a country where my baby was tucked up next to me in bed an hour after delivery, by the doctor!

Why? Not being aggressive, just wondering.

@Willwetalk they're talking about the lullaby trust safer sleep guidelines to reduce the risk of SIDS. It's discussed extensively on the thread.

OK, thank you.

This. It’s quite safe for babies to sleep, in their space, and not be held 24/7. 🙄

If babies needed this level of monitoring we would not of survived as a species. You do not need to stand in a room with your baby if you can hear them wake or fuss. The idea that only now have we as a species worked out how not to kill our young is insane. It sounds like an anxious attachment, I remember though those first nights or months really when you got up I got up obsessively to see if the boy was breathing ;) so I stand on my logic but if I had come home and the babysitter wasn't in the same room with a child under two, I would not be happy. Cuddling thing is weird and imposing.