To think my parents should just book the flights

[Mastmw7g]

DH and I are in the United States and unable to pay for flights to see grandparents on the school break this year. We let everyone know with plenty of time. Both sets of grandparents agreed to pay. They decided to have my parents pay and then my ILs are going to reimburse my parents for half the cost.

My parents still haven't booked the flights. I spoke to them and they said they are very busy and will book them eventually. DH is getting irritated because he says time is passing and flights are increasing in cost and my parents choice is making this more expensive for my ILs. He says we shouldn't go and just save everyone the money.

Is there any chance your ILs could book the tickets and be reimbursed by your parents, @Mastmw7g?

My in laws don't have as much money as my parents, which is why they arranged to have my parents pay. I can ask my husband to talk to his parents and see if that's what they'd prefer. It's frustrating because my parents are going on a cruise afterwards and say this is why they are so busy- there's apparently a great deal of paperwork and they have to choose excursions.

Why don’t you book them and they send you the money?

Gosh fancy expecting them to pay for you to fly

Could you skip this year's visit which would allow a year to save for a 2025 visit?

Yes you need to tell your parents straight: Their dilly-dallying is costing your in-laws money, and if they don’t book them in the next 24h the trip is off.

Furthermore your in-laws should pay half of the price of the tickets when you originally researched the price, and your parents pay the other half, plus the difference due to the increased prices since then.

Edited to add: Or you just postpone the visit till next year as it sounds like this year might be a bit tainted by all this. If you book (and pay!) now for next Spring you’ll have a good price I imagine.

It doesn’t sound like it’s a priority to them.

I’d just make other plans. Perhaps your parents are regretting the offer. If you can’t afford to fly home this year; don’t do it. They can fly to you, if they want, or you can see them next summer instead.

We told our parents we couldn't come to them this year because we bought a house and had many expenses related to that. Right now we're waiting on approval to do our garden and all our savings will have to be spent on that.

I think it sounds like they might not be able to afford it, certainly it sounds like your in laws can’t. Or they are having second thoughts for some other reason. I think I’d have a word with them and say it sounds like it’s not going to work this year and maybe try and save for next year.

Otherwise could in laws just transfer a set amount which would cover their share of the tickets now, you tell your parents that if prices go up they might have to shoulder any increase.

But it’s difficult to call the shots if someone else is paying.

What are you talking about?

That was what we originally told them. They didn't want to go a year without seeing grandchildren so they made the offer.

I honestly can't believe you are prioritising your garden over your family, especially since it was you who chose to move away it seems.

I think in your position I'd just wait and see what happens. If your parents do eventually book the flights and the cost has increased significantly from when it was agreed, you could offer to make up the difference so your in-laws don't have to spend the extra.

It doesn't sound like your parents are that keen, and your in-laws might be glad to not have to pay towards it. So perhaps your husband is right that you shouldn't go this year.

This is actually a fair point.

Seems like your parents are spending their money on seeing you, while you are spending your money on other things? Sounds like you could quite happily go another year without seeing them?

We live in a community that has rules and we only have a year to get our garden done or else we get fined. To get it approved we had to submit a plan to the town, which was approved after 30 days and now we're waiting on approval from our community, which takes about as much time. If the plan isn't approved we will have to submit a new plan to the town and then the community. And we have to get this done by August to avoid the fine.

I explained that it is required by our community to get our garden sorted within a year of buying the house to avoid a fine. We would happily go longer without spending this money.

As a frequent cruiser, I'm hooting at the notion there's a lot of paperwork! Absolute nonsense. And as for choosing excursions...

They're making excuses - you need to put them on the spot, urgently.

Okay, I see now.

Good old America, land of the free!!

I assumed. They can make simple tasks seem very complicated. Another complaint is that they're at their winter home and preparing to leave soon, so they need to go out twice a day to spend time with friends they won't see again for months. I feel like shouting "How is your life so complicated and busy? You don't work!"

Yes, though I'm certain we are responsible for building a house that's under the rules of a homeowners association.

@Mastmw7g When did you actually move to the US?

Has it been such a long time since the grandparents last saw the children?

For peace of mind and less stress all around, putting off this visit seems sensible.

Why do they all need to travel together? Surely, if your ILs are worried about the cost going up they should just book their own flights and leave your DPs to book theirs. And if their dithering costs them more money, so be it.

I've read this that the parents and parents in law are paying for the flights for the OP and her family to come back to the UK. Not that parents and parents law are paying for themselves to go to America.

They are booking OPs flights to return home... not their flights to go over and see them

Jeez. Being busy in retirement is a good thing. If it's so easy why don't you just book it and have them send you the money?