AIBU to think no one warns you life with teens is tiring

[Blendiful]

Lighthearted but..

You know when your kids are younger people warn you how tired you will be, but no one prepares you for being equally as shattered when they are teens!

In a perfect world I need to get up at about 6am to be able to go to the gym (something I enjoy for me), walk the dog, eat a decent breakfast.
Working full time now the kids are older. Throw into this endless tasks for school, washing, food shopping for the bottomless pits, trying to provide a decent diet 75% of the time. Ferrying to friends/work/college/partners houses/social events some of the time when they can't get themselves there or I'm feeling generous or transport/timings won't work x2 for the amount of teens.

Messages about things forgotten/asking for help/advice about various things. Trying to spend some time together, chasing up homework/course work etc.

Then ideally I need to be in bed by 9pm to get a decent nights sleep, but I have to partake in a fight for the bathroom (we only have 1!) and the teens don't go to bed until later than this! Add in toilet trips/sneaking downstairs, nighttime wandering from the eldest and it can often be 12 before I can drift off.

I am tired! I thought I would be in the stage of doing less and enjoying more now, but it doesnt seem on the horizon.

As I said, lighthearted. I love them and realise some of it I could just leave them to it, but they are both ND and so need that bit of extra support or things just don't get done/get missed or get worse.

Anyone else with teens in this stage and waiting for a good rest

My kids are 14, 11 and 7 so I have only just entered teenage years with my oldest and will have another 12 years to go until youngest exits teen years! I completely understand how you feel OP, with full time work, helping with homework, activities, lifts to friends, trying to spend time together, it can be incredibly busy and exhausting there is little time for me. I can't even watch what I want on TV in the evenings as eldest seems to become wide awake around 9pm and just wants to hang around, seeing what I'm doing, lounge around, get a drink/snack etc when all I really want to do is watch trashy TV for half an hour and then go to bed!

I did that side of it too, I just thought it would be easier now. I wouldn't say I'm more tired now, but I'm a different tired, more mentally than psychically I guess, as life around me is more demanding and I'm trying to keep fit etc for my own health as I get older.

But I imagine there is some truth in that I have forgot that end of it, as it was so long ago, however I haven't forgotten it enough to ever want to do it again! 🤣

Saturday morning.

Eldest (nearly 15): mum! Guess what! We are all going to a kilo sale in Xtown! Please please please can you take me I promise to tidy my room 😇. I have to be there at 1pm!

Me: (it wasn't what I'd had in mind for my first day off after an exhausting week but hey ho, I'm glad the girl has friends and a life) - OK I'll take you.

Youngest (13) - storms down stairs like tonne of bricks - hey mum ye'll never guess what! Alfie has invited me to Ytown Gala! It's so awesome it's got fairground rides and doughnut stall! I need £20 and I have to be there at 12.45!!

Me: sigh. Xtown and Ytown are 25 miles apart ...

Thanks, needed this today :)

Oh yes to the shoes! Cha-ching!!!!

You haven't got any! Be off with you.

You won't get any sleep with teenagers either. If you want to drag the thread even further away from the lighthearted beginnings...the first time my teenager went out with her friend to a party the friend was raped by a stranger and my dd had to call the police and they spent the rest of their evening in a rape centre.

No-one warns you that being a teen is awful.

Yep, but off we go to drop them off 😁

Yea that's it, the end of the day 'me time' is gone! It doesn't exist with teens.

No they don't, I quite enjoyed my teen years, but I work with many who don't! It's not an easy time for them. Hence trying to be the best mum I can and make it easier for mine. But to achieve that, makes me tired. 😖

I won't regret it that's for sure. But I just wanted to share with other tired teen parents too!

I do feel like people bang on about teens being hard work! So it is expected, really, but like a lot of experiences, you can't appreciate it until you're in it yourself.

My 2 are 10 and 12 now, so not even teens but still fairly demanding. From babyhood I was told the sweet spot was 6-10, but my ASD DD1 did not get that memo and just went straight into puberty at 11. Still not had an easy year with her! She still needs support with homework as well as basic things like keeping clean, brushing her hair, packing her schoolbag. Y7 has been the hardest school year yet for her, academically and socially. I can imagine she will still need me a lot during her teen years.

However, it is a real privilege that they still talk to me so much (so, so much) and I feel close to them - never really know when / if that starts to slip away.

Agreed - I have found the teen years much more draining that the toddler years.

Have 5 and don't find them tiring at all !! Now when they were babies and toddlers ......
I lost a decade !!

Oh yes I get it, every word is true!

I get tired 8-9pm but kids activities sometimes don’t finish until 9/9.30pm so by the time we get home and they do their 20 step shower routines it could be midnight before everyone is in bed. I then wake up at that point and struggle to sleep!

I have full intentions of getting my steps in before work but snooze my alarm due to only getting 4/5 hours sleep…. And the cycle continues 🙄

DH and I are getting payback in a few weeks though.

We're going to London on our own to a big party (all our old friends are hitting on h the big 50).

The kids are being left behind with my mum and dad .

Party 🎉!

Loved my teens. So much better than tots or babies.

You haven’t met my eldest, then.

Selfish, self absorbed, rude, lazy, stubborn…. Quite possibly ND (awaiting assessments).

She is the reason I’m on anti depressants.

Totally resonating here: xtown and ytown, always being available in case they need a lift at silly o clock, and their mate too who lives 5 miles in the opposite direction, sitting outside concerts at £stupid an hour parking fees in far flung cities at midnight, the million pound shoes…
Also adding into the mix: driving lessons. Once you’ve spent hours finding a suitable car(possibly at the expense of your own normal old person car)/insurer/instructor, every possible spare minute is procured from you to sit in while they practice. Any potential for the most minor journey, they want to drive even though this will involve any or all of the following: blind terror, teen meltdown, a simple trip to the shop taking three times as long because they HAVE to reverse park but only if there are seventeen clear spaces together and no one is staring(they’re not obviously).
But I love them so much and from baby to teen has flown by.

Did you mean to quote someone?

Not so light-hearted, but last night I was lamenting the fact that 10-15 years ago, I was reading cute little bedtime stories to my child, but last night, like many nights over the past few years, I was checking if she had any thoughts of self harm (yes), thoughts of suicide (yes), active plans of suicide (thankfully no).

No one warns you about THAT.

I'd take the newborn sleep deprivation any day. Anything other than this.

That sounds tough.

Personally found the baby and toddler years by far the hardest. Just so labour intensive. But I have largely cheerful good company teens.

My DM has always said ‘they need you more as they get older’….mine are just about to become teenagers and I’m just about to reduce my hours as I simply don’t have enough time to support them. And neither is ND.

My kids are 3, 14 and almost 17. And I teach full-time (primary).
Send coffee. Or wine. Or possibly both 😂

Baby stage was hard and I lost myself. I love having teens and hanging with them. My twins are 13 and dd1 is 16. I’m not saying it’s easy but not comparable to baby stage.

I remember asking someone when they were little 'does it get better '
They said it just gets different.
Best and most honest advice ever