What if I can’t get on the plane?

[Northerngirl345]

My best friend and I are due to be flying long haul on Friday. I am a terrible flyer, it terrifies me, but I decided that if I booked fancy seats (business class) and could natter with my best friend the whole way - I’d be fine.

Well, today was the day to book seats and we can’t get two seats together. I’ve spent 2 hours on the phone to the airline and they say they can’t help. I even thought about upgrading to first class but this was going to cost £8k and they STILL couldn’t promise we’d be sat together as I’d have to pay before seeing what seats were available. I don’t actually have a spare £8k but I was tempted until I realised it wouldn’t solve my problem.

Now I just feel like I don’t want to go. I was already super nervous and this has pushed me over the edge.

My best friend flies alone all the time and can’t see the big deal. She thinks we’ll “laugh about this one day”.

Has anyone got any ideas to help me here?

YABU - suck it up and get on the plane
YANBU - cancel the trip / find a way to get 2 seats together.

You might like to start your own thread.

If you do call AA they are really helpful. They even serve pizza on some flights :) business class is great. Don’t drink too much beforehand!

I hate flying- what works for me is having a few drinks before I go on the plane, and I know it sounds silly but I look at the cabin crew and try to keep thinking they do this every day this is no big deal for them- it weirdly helps.

When my mum flew to vegas the doctor gave her diazepam and she slept most of it- she was terrified of flying.

I’m so sorry you feel this way, i really can sympathise, im an awful flyer myself!
have you considered any medication from your GP?
I never liked the idea of taking tablets but for flying my GP will always give some diazepam to help with my anxiety. I feel my concentration can’t never let me read or focus on books, but how do you feel about puzzle books? I always find Sudoku take my mind of it!
One thing I would say - don’t let your fear of flying stand in the way of many adventures and discovering new places, have no regrets!

Remember the captain and the crew fly every day (and probably have done for years!) and they're all still alive and well :)

https://www.newsweek.com/woman-jelly-trick-cured-fear-flying-15-million-views-1716464

I saw that link on a post last night about someone's fear of flying and the amount of praise it has got is unbelievable. Worth having a look at to see if it helps you with your fear

For future reference I attended the easyJet fear of flying course and thought it was pretty good. I also purchased the lifetime use of the videos/audio and whilst I haven’t used them in flight yet, I make sure I have them if needed.

Travel sickness tablets...make you feel a bit sleepy and detached.

You've also missed the update 12 hours ago saying it was all sorted.

The Dr will give you something to get you through. I also recommend the Virgin Fear of Flying course, it cured me completely. I went from needing medication to being utterly bored each flight.

Long haul business class inevitably means that you don't talk to your neighbour. There is a privacy screen between seats.

I actually cannot understand a fear of flying not through lack of trying but you do have my sympathy. Google the jelly plane theory if it helps at all?

what is it/what part are you actually scared of?

100% my fault. I’m a huge proponent of reading at least the OP’s comments and I failed this time.

And that I think is really the best way moving forwards now on this - it will be an experience so go find as much enjoyment from it as you can :)

Look at the lounge as well and see how long you can have in there and arrange to take advantage of it, eat and drink the best and try to be there long enough to take advantage of any spa type experiences , a head or shoulder massage at least :)

Hopefully with the lounge experience, the priority check in etc, you will be relaxed enough that you can hold onto the nerves and you never know, you might find that a pair of noise cancelling ear phone ( so you dont hear the planes noises ) will be just the ticket and you will relax enough to be able to lie back and sleep

Only thing that works for me is Valium. doesn’t take away the fear but instead I just don’t care that I am scared

Just to flag that alcohol + propranolol can make you dizzy and light headed if you're not used to it according to the NHS so maybe don't mix both unless you've done it before. That said you could ask your GP for a higher dose to use in stressful situations. I used to have 40mg propranolol for public speaking for example.

I know it’s sorted now but people need to know you cannot get Xanax from an NHS GP. And it’s really not as easy to get diazepam or lorazepam from most decent GPs for flying either. Dodgy ones will probably be more likely to prescribe it.

I don’t know your position on prescription medications but if you have a fear of flying, your GP may be able to prescribe something to relax you on the flight

Good. You mentioned pre boarding wine. You’ll be good!

its safer than crossing the street.

i like a benedryl- get a nap in. But only for 4+ hours flights.

I struggle with jet lag when arriving so GP has given me sleeping pills but NOT to be used on the plane itself. She said there have been issues with this as people take them as soon as they board and there could be delays. It then became tricky to move a person who took a sleeping pill an hour ago.

Not sure if that has been suggested OP, nervous flyer here. Had all sorts of treatment, several face to face hypnotherapy sessions, diazapam etc, wine (my own therapy).

One thing that really helped me was free podcasts on fear of flying. There are ample available on the podcast apps. Many by pilots. They cover every fear you might have and why it's unreasonable with examples. Try it. Really helped me. Good luck 🤞

I thought it would be fun to update from the plane as I have wifi!

Firstly, I’m fine. No drugs just a few champagnes in the lounge and a wine with my lunch on board. Chatted during take off (and didn’t enjoy it-obv) but then started watching a movie and had a snooze. Now I’m just watching the screen that shows the little plane’s progress and we’re over halfway!

Also, thought I’d mention as there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing over this - they have indeed switched the lights off. Which is surprising given that it’s day time in both London and New York.

So thanks again, everyone. Keep your fingers crossed for me that the rest of the flight is as smooth as it has been so far.

Brilliant, fantastic update OP and you are a star for coming back to report on the lights out issue!

Have an amazing holiday.

Great just as i suggested and do - I find the take offs and landing most difficult unless we get turnblance and or hailstones just after take-off

I have a few on the plane as well and the movie helps time, fly😂