To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

[sajamor0811]

I've been struggling with my job for a while and a couple of weeks ago had a meltdown which resulted in me needing the rest of the day off. I had booked a doctor's appointment for stress the following week, during which three tricky anniversaries were coming up too.

I was back the next day and in the meantime had suggested doing admin only or having a week to revise procedures so I'd feel more confident. I was put on more admin and less phone work so can't say no accommodation at all was made.

I also wouldn't say the section leader I had a meeting with was totally unsupportive or not a nice person. But her emphasis of how the job was high pressure, was I suited to it and how more would get expected of me made me feel under more stress.

In fairness she did say she didn't want people working out of hours as I had been to stay on top of my workload and practise/revise procedures. Yet when I don't get time to do that in the working day what else can I do?

The following week I was then put back on the phones as much as before with no check of whether I felt ready for it or not. Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went. I was on the whole enjoying the job and feeling more confident but isn't that by the by?

Then I had a review yesterday where it was said I'm still making too many mistakes. I again said it might be an idea for me to have time off the phones and revise. The attitude that got taken was it's a business where people have to be on the phones and I've been given help with procedures.

I don't dispute the latter but can't help thinking if I had time to concentrate on revising them without other pressures or distractions they'd go in better. Then when I said I'd spend the weekend genning up I was told to do that if it helped. Yet it's flying in the face of the "don't work in your free time" I was given. I just feel so confused.

I am filling in a form for an autism test as I wonder whether struggling to retain information is part of that. But I'm reluctant to say anything in case it looks like card playing for more probation time.

Is working on the phones part of your remit?

What accommodations do you think they can actually make, especially since you seem to want to be relieved of part of your duties to “revise” other parts of your job?

Working on the phones is the bulk of the job, which I accept. I just think taking a step back to do some retraining for a few days would help me do it better long term. When I got put mostly back on the phones I was resentful not because it was outside the remit but because they didn't check I was up to it. More time on the emails is still helping customers and less pressurised practice of procedures.

If you are someone who does struggle under pressure and finds the 'thinking on your feet' element of the job difficult, is it worth looking for a different kind of job, perhaps more of an admin role if that's your strength?

I have a few admins in my workplace who do not enjoy any sort of face to face interaction, but who are amazing at their complex procedure-driven roles and really thrive in them. They are playing to their strengths. Maybe a role like that would suit you better.

Who would pick up the slack for you if you handed over the bulk of your job?
It really doesn’t sound remotely feasible.

Sounds like this isn't the job for you OP.

How long have you been there?

The following week I was then put back on the phones as much as before with no check of whether I felt ready for it or not. Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went.
Kindly, they don’t need to do this, they’re not your mum or your bff.

Unless I’ve misunderstood you had the previous week, as you requested, to do admin only or having a week to revise procedures so I'd feel more confident. I was put on more admin and less phone work. Then that week was over so it’s back to work as usual like you’d all planned.

Print out the procedures and have them in front of you when on the phone. Your failing as your under pressure the same happens to me. Highlight small parts that will remind you of the next step. If this doesn't work just look for a new job

Are you new to the job? It sounds as if you’re a poor fit for the remit if it’s high-pressure, and honestly, I think you’re expecting a lot from your managers if you fundamentally can’t do the bulk of your job. Who else is going to pick up the slack?

It’s a difficult one to advise on because we don’t know the job inside out, or what’s been happening, or even really the law. So I’d take any MN advice with a pinch of salt and speak to someone who does have expertise.

All that said, it sounds to me as though what you want may be incompatible with doing your job. If you’re sick, you’re sick and can be signed off, although again I am unsure about booking a pre emotive drs appointment because you might feel stressed with anniversaries coming up (I’m sorry if these are something really awful but annual leave is for pre booking time off, not sick leave).

Could you not have revised a bit in the time you were signed off? Revising doing one’s job isn’t really “working”, and some prep for doing your job can be expected outside of work time I think.

I also agree with those saying “who else is going to do your job if you don’t do it”? Presumably you not answering phones, if that’s your job, would mean more pressure on others.

It sounds like it isn't the right job for you. There's only so many adjustments a workplace can make.

Find a new job better suited to you and be happy.

It doesn’t sound like the right job or the right environment for you. You might be better looking for something new.

To be honest I don’t see what more they can do to accommodate you OP.

Is it more a case of gaining confidence and familiarity or do you feel completely out of your depth?

This clearly isn't the job for you.

Which is nobodies fault.

I had the same problem in my first job out of uni. I took an admin job, working for the DVLA. This was back before a lot of the processes were fully automated, and there was a LOT of paperwork with VERY set procedures.
Well, it turns out I'm not an admin-y sort of person at all. I really struggled to remember all the procedures and what to do, in what order, with all the multitudes of different forms.
Other people seemed to sail through it, whereas I was intensely stressed, all the time.

I lasted 9 months there, and that was a struggle!

OP, you are reminding me of my daughter, who is currently waiting for an autism assessment, when she had a job with a high amount of customer interaction in a fast paced environment. She just couldn't manage it and felt ill with the stress of it all, In a different environment, she's great, calm, organized, it was the people contact that was too fast and too much, but she's found jobs that have suited her much better. I do wonder if this is the job for you as they did allow you to step back a bit but now you don't feel you can step forward into the main part of the job and it doesn't sound like that's going to change and they can't change that themselves. I would look for a job that works with your skills/talents, sometimes it's just a question of fit, and this isn't fitting you.

If you prefer doing customer interaction by email then there are a lot of online only type posts being an online customer assistant now, you know the ones that type when you ask them questions, working from home as well. Just an idea.

I wasn't ever signed off and booked the appointment not because of the anniversaries but because of job stress. If I had been signed off I would have used that time to revise. I only mean being given 2-3 days for revision which is less than what people have for holiday or often sick leave.

Could you not take some holiday if it’s just a bit of time you need?

What is the job OP? It might help others advise better.
How long have you been there?
It does sound like you aren’t suited though.

If you were in my team I’d give you a buddy / mentor and find out what extra training you need and provide it, and put in place any adjustments. I’d send you for an occupational health appointment to see what they thought would help. We do pay for autism assessments too now.

How long have you been in the job, op?
I’ve a funny feeling that when you refer to “revision” you really mean learning some aspects of the work from scratch.
Have you had the same training as everyone else?

But with respect, surely the job doesn't normally give revision time. You do the training at the start and are expected to get on with it after that. Holidays and sick leave are different as there are laws behind what they can be used for and how they are calculated and how much everyone is entitled to. Time off for revision would be extra to all of this. That's more than 'reasonable accommodation ' and could be seen as setting precedent for others if it's not normally offered

Days to revise procedures (assuming by revise you mean ‘re-learn what to do’ rather than ‘amend so people do it better’) sounds a strange request to me. Initial training and then learning on the job is more normal. Maybe you could ask for 30 mins at the beginning of 2 days a week to refresh anything you haven’t quite learned or understood.

How long have you been in the job? Did you have a proper induction process and training at the beginning?

If you have been doing it for a while, why is it that you need time to revise or retrain? It sounds like your employer thinks that you should know what you're doing at this point, so why is it that you are so unsure?

It's hard to give advice because we don't know all the details of your situation, but honestly speaking, based on what you've said, I can completely see why your manager has questioned whether you're really suited to this sort of role. They clearly have capability concerns, and the role is clearly causing you a lot of stress and anxiety. Not good for either party.

Realistically, what would they need to do to enable you to succeed in the job? If there are simple adjustments that could be put in place that would help you to manage the role, then ask for them. But it isn't reasonable to keep asking for extra time to learn a job that you should already know, nor would it be a reasonable adjustment for you to be excused from doing something that is apparently a central part of the role.

I agree with PP, sorry OP.

Being on the phone can be quite nerve-wracking, especially when there are lot of processes to follow. Some people thrive in that environment, others don't.

For you to have time to revise, it would mean they're paying you to learn things that you should have learned in the training. Unless it's a reasonable adjustment you may struggle to get them to agree to this. It means the people who are on the phone a) have to take more calls because they're one person down and b) don't get as much time as you do to train.

Was there issues with their training/induction processes?