To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

[sajamor0811]

I've been struggling with my job for a while and a couple of weeks ago had a meltdown which resulted in me needing the rest of the day off. I had booked a doctor's appointment for stress the following week, during which three tricky anniversaries were coming up too.

I was back the next day and in the meantime had suggested doing admin only or having a week to revise procedures so I'd feel more confident. I was put on more admin and less phone work so can't say no accommodation at all was made.

I also wouldn't say the section leader I had a meeting with was totally unsupportive or not a nice person. But her emphasis of how the job was high pressure, was I suited to it and how more would get expected of me made me feel under more stress.

In fairness she did say she didn't want people working out of hours as I had been to stay on top of my workload and practise/revise procedures. Yet when I don't get time to do that in the working day what else can I do?

The following week I was then put back on the phones as much as before with no check of whether I felt ready for it or not. Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went. I was on the whole enjoying the job and feeling more confident but isn't that by the by?

Then I had a review yesterday where it was said I'm still making too many mistakes. I again said it might be an idea for me to have time off the phones and revise. The attitude that got taken was it's a business where people have to be on the phones and I've been given help with procedures.

I don't dispute the latter but can't help thinking if I had time to concentrate on revising them without other pressures or distractions they'd go in better. Then when I said I'd spend the weekend genning up I was told to do that if it helped. Yet it's flying in the face of the "don't work in your free time" I was given. I just feel so confused.

I am filling in a form for an autism test as I wonder whether struggling to retain information is part of that. But I'm reluctant to say anything in case it looks like card playing for more probation time.

Interesting take on what I actually said, op?

It sounds like you are a customer service rep in a contact centre, if so, I get it, as I did that for years myself.
A job that is always changing will mean you always have to be learning, getting ready to change how you were trained to do a thing, taking on new information, while maintaining high standards.
Forgive me if I am heading the wrong way, but if this is close to your situation, I'd be job hunting like it was to save my life.

Op but you spending more time isn't a favour to them? It's because you can't keep up with the current workload, that everyone else is managing .by that definition everyone else is also a team player.

Teaandscandal You said I was palming things off to suit myself and make the role what I wanted it to be. Sounds like self indulgent, spoilt irresponsibility to me!

How long have you worked there, op?

Roundroundthegarden I agree other people on the team are team players - I was just pointing out I am too as certain individuals on here don't seem to think so!

But you do expect your colleagues to take on the parts you feel unable to do, yes?

You need to find a new job. Better to jump before you're pushed.

You're projecting. Massively.

No, I don't - it never came out of my mouth I expected people to do all my phone work for me. I suggested doing less while I picked up their admin work for them. The revision time I now know wouldn't be so practical in work hours so I'm doing it in my own time. Both were also suggested to help my performance and therefore my team contribution. It was because of overwork for the team's benefit I felt I needed to see the doctor in the first place!

This is clearly not the job for you and your employer is not running a charity. They need the job done.

Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went. I was on the whole enjoying the job and feeling more confident but isn't that by the by?

Op, you're not a child and they aren't your friends or parents. Accept the fact that this job isn't a good fit for you, which is in no way a failing, btw, and find a new role. You tried and it's not making you happy.

If you consistently cannot meet your deliverables without a lot of overtime you are either not performing or you have too much work.

If you are not performing (which sounds like the issue) then you need to work out if you can get to the required standard and what you need to get there.

We are not all suited to the same jobs, you might need to think about what your skillset is suited to.

But what you're suggesting is for them to do more of the stressful part of the job (phones) so that you can work on the admin to build your confidence.

Does that feel fair on them to you?

How long have you worked there OP? You've been asked a number of times but not answered.

Are your colleagues doing the same work in less time?
The overwork was hardly for the team’s benefit, there’s little benefit to anyone in you not being able to do the work in the allotted hours, especially when everyone else can.
You still haven’t said how long you’ve worked there, are you still on probation?

How long have you been there?

What is the job?

Do you think you will be able for it given time?

I manage a team in a sales/customer service environment and unfortunately there is a base level of pressure, which sometimes can be high, that I am not able to remove. It just is that pressured, and people can either manage that, or they can't. That kind of work isn't for everyone.

I'm always happy to help people manage their workload, plan their time etc, but what I can't (and won't) do is remove parts of the job to make that happen. I'll help someone manage their workload, but I'm not re-distributing it. Somethings just "are," as awful as that maybe is.

We call it "phone fear," and to be honest once people have it, they're usually not around long.

I don't expect to be cosseted - I would have just thought that if someone has found it hard to cope you make sure they can before throwing them back into a pressure cooker. Also if an employee is going to the doctor about stress you do need to check what has been medically advised regarding the job. I would have said something if I'd been signed off but surely you don't have to be a vulnerable person's best buddy to be concerned for them? Decent human being covers it where I come from!

I’m sorry but they can’t accommodate you in a job which is not suitable. It would be like a PA getting accommodations and doing just admin in a lawyer‘s role. You need a new job.

How long have you worked there, op?

Do they know you have been to the doctor with stress though?

you have mentioned others getting accommodations, yes that makes total sense if they have been there for years but if you are a new employee then that is different.

How long have you been there?

I'm still on probation - that ends on 10 June. I'm not scared of phones at all but just want to be making sure I give the best customer service on them. I've tried desperately hard both in and out of work to achieve that - I'd say I've made huge sacrifices for the team rather than taking from them!

It's not a pressure cooker, it's a job you're not able to manage successfully. That's not your employer's fault in this instance. You need to find a new job.

What sacrifices?

If you think you may be neuro divergent, then your workplace may have to put reasonable adjustments in place even if you aren't diagnosed.

Ask for a referral to occupational health and speak to your GP , to get on the waiting list.

Think about what reasonable adjustments might look like for you - for me (adhd/asd) if i was in a call centre it might be longer/more breaks, more time allowed for training, flexible working, and more time allowed in call wrap up off the top of my head.

And how has the team benefited from these sacrifices?